The Cradle of Hope
by steffy2106
Summary: Sequel of My Vampire Academy 'Spirit Bound: Redemption' Story.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N: **Hey Guys!!

So here is finally the sequel of _**Spirit Bound: Redemption** _that you were waiting for.

I really hope you are going to like it as I'm pretty excited by it.

Oh by the way my friend Kelly was kind enough to proofread this chapter but she will do that only temporarily as she has other obligation. If any of you is interested about proofreading this story please PM me ASAP.

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think, you know it's your reviews that keeps me going.

_Disclaimer. _I don't awn VA academy or any of its characters. But if they were to sell I would totally put an option on Dimka and Adrian =D

Thanks

Steffy.

**Prologue. **

"Done," I said to myself zipping up my bag. It had been two weeks since the Moroi graduated and a week since Lissa, Christian, Eddie and I moved to Court.

I looked around the room that I did my best to decorate slightly. I really needed a space that was more or less mine. A small and even precarious _'home' _was good enough. My room was very nice, it looked a lot like the guardians' rooms at the academy, but I had a window with a beautiful view of the gardens behind the court, and I even had a small private bathroom. Eddie didn't get that lucky. He had to share his bathroom with 5 other guardians.

Usually, the young guardians got the crappiest, smallest, coldest and noisiest rooms available. And knowing the undying love the Queen had for me, I expected to get the worst room in the building…even in the barn if she could, but I couldn't have been more wrong.

I had one of the best room in the building, and the most surprising was that it was not even Adrian nor Lissa who managed to get me my room, it was the Queen herself!

I went to thank her very reluctantly. She accepted suspiciously gracefully with a : '_Oh well Rose dear you deserve it and I know we really didn't start off with the best sentiments but maybe we could start over.'_

I accepted with poise wondering to myself what she was really after but I still haven't figured this one out.

"Hathaway? Ready to go?" Asked Pavel bringing me back to reality.

I turned around to see him standing under the threshold.

"The door was open." He added uncomfortably.

"I…yeah." I shook my head. "I just need to go and say bye to Liss before leaving."

Pavel nodded walked into the room to take my bag.

"Ivashkov is already by the plane, I'll take your bag."

"Thanks and you are back to calling me Hathaway huh?" I asked more teasing than anything else. It was not hurting me, Pavel was just a hard ass, it was nothing personal.

He shrugged, "I got used to it."

"Uh huh". I chuckled. "I'll join you in a bit."

"Oh, the goodbyes?" He said grimacing. Lissa was getting more and more sullen as my departure got closer.

She was slightly jealous that Adrian got to come with me even if she knew that if she couldn't come it was not from my own liking this time. Even if, I had to admit that I rather have her safe at the Court than running around with me, in this wild goose chase that would probably turn out fruitless, but it would help me get my mind of Dimitri.

"Dimitri…" I sighed as it hurt just to think his name. More than 3 weeks since he left me and I couldn't get around my feeling of rejection. I missed him just as much. I knew I would survive him leaving me behind, but it was like a part of myself was missing and it was throbbing even more than before because this time he took away that part willingly.

How could he stay away from me when I would have done anything to be beside him?

Maybe he just didn't love me as much as I thought he did…Maybe he just didn't love me as much as I loved him.

I shook my head fighting back the tears. I was back in tough Rose mode. Nothing could hurt me anymore. I hoped that if I could pretend hard enough to everyone else and to myself for quite sometime I would end up believing it.

I barely made it to Lissa's room when Christian opened the door.

"Wow that was spooky dude." I said trying to sound teasing and cheerful.

"I'm awesome like that" said Christian winking, but I could see in his eyes that I didn't fool him as well as I wanted to. Since our little '_loving Strigoi' _bound developed he knew me much more than I wanted him to. We were closer friends than either of us was ready to admit out loud, but I was pretty sure that we would die one for the other in an heartbeat.

"I just came to tell you guy a quick goodbye." I said walking in the room to find Lissa sprawled on the floor looking at the Lehigh catalogue for her electives. This vision made me slightly mad even if I knew it was trivial. I had so much more to worry about.

"You're going? Already?" She asked with an almost pleading tone.

"You knew I was going today Liss" I said as she ran to me hugging me tight.

"You'll be careful right? Nothing dangerous." She added still hugging me.

"Of course I will." I said locking eyes with Christian that was standing behind Lissa, his arms crossed on his chest. "Do you think I'd bring Ivashkov along if it was dangerous?" I asked rhetorically, but I could see a small smile on Christian's lips. He knew that Adrian was stubborn enough to get on the trip anyways, and even if it was dangerous, Pavel and I were enough to keep him safe, especially with my nauseas warning us of Strigoi near by.

Christian knew that it was dangerous to some extent, tracking a psycho like Victor was bound to be dangerous and I was pretty sure that Lissa knew that too, but she was doing her best to deny it.

She sighed heavily breaking our embrace. "I'll see you soon right?"

"Of course! And you know that worse case scenario I'll be back before the end of the summer." I turned around pointing at my neck. "I'm your guardian now remember."

Lissa smiled and I could feel her worries gradually fading.

"I need to go" I pointed at the door. "I'm pretty sure Pavel is about to burst a vein."

"And we wouldn't want that right?" Said Christian with a grin.

"Not so much," I gave Lissa another quick hug. "I'll give you a call tomorrow."

"Come here fire boy…Gimme a hug."

Christian rolled his eyes, but pulled me into a bear hug.

"Take care of her, sooth her." I whispered to his ear as I knew the calmer she was the less effect the Spirit had effect on her.

"And take care of you Rose, I wouldn't want to have to come and kick your ass." He said before kissing my cheek quickly.

I nodded with a smile. "You know me, right."

"Yeah… That's the problem" he said grimacing.

I laughed. "I'll see you soon." I waved before rushing to the runway.

"Hathaway it's about time" Said Pavel sitting in the first seat just beside the door.

"Pavel I know" I said mimicking his bossy formal tone.

"Lil'dhampir!" Said Adrian with his usual cocky grin from a seat two rows behind Pavel.

"Tall Moroi!" I replied teasing and went to sit beside him. "Missed me?" I asked even if I saw him just the night before.

"Always." He replied seriously. "You know that right?"

I looked at him silently just giving him a small smile. The motors started to hum loudly and the plane started to move. I looked out the window.

Adrian padded my knee. "Let's go hunt the psychotic Moroi."

I laughed looking at him gratefully. "I couldn't have said it any better way."

"I could" said Pavel not even turning around "but it would be far more vulgar."

"That's why I love you Gavrilovich." I said knowing that he didn't like it when we used his full first name. He preferred his friends to call Gav, not that we were friend or anything.

Adrian snickered hearing Pavel low growl.

I laughed as the plane took off. I tried to relax closing my eyes and resting my head on the headrest.

There was no turning back now, the three of us where on a mission, a crazy mission, but it was a goal and I needed one right now.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

When I saw the number of reviews I had for the prologue I decided to post this one earlier than I intended.

I wanted to take a second to thank all the readers who offer to beta the story for me. I expect to receive one or two offer (at best) and I received at least 20 so thank you so SO much!

I wanted to thank Jessica (_**Jasper'sprincess213**_) who is now the beta for this story. Thank you so much for your help. You are so good at that, it's impressive!!.

Well I really hope you'll like this chapter and don't forget to review as I absolutely love reading you.

Take care

Steffy =D

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, I just wish I did.

**Chapter 1:**

**3 Weeks later:**

I was sitting across from Adrian, on our way to Romania; my last possible lead to finding Victor. Adrian was peacefully asleep, and looking at him made me feel better; instead of like a failure. I took this trip for two reasons and both were unsuccessful so far; I hadn't managed to find Victor or get Dimitri out of my head.

It has been six weeks since he left me and it hurt today just as much as the day he left. I could even say that it hurt more somehow. I thought he would at least _try_ to contact me; just to let me know he was doing okay, that he was thinking about me… ANYTHING really. But no, he was even deader to me now than he was before when he was Strigoi. If it weren't for Viktoria's phone call thanking me for her brother, who had just arrived, I wouldn't even know that he was still alive.

"How is it going?" Pavel whispered from his seat beside me.

I looked at him startled. I shrugged, turning my gaze back to Adrian. "What do you think?" I asked rhetorically.

"Want to talk about it?"

I gave him a humorless laugh. "We're friends now?" I hissed. "I think you made your opinion pretty clear a couple of weeks ago."

That's when he told me that he preferred our relationship didn't take too friendly a turn, as being only professional would make us more efficient. Since that day I stopped trying to be his friend and remained only pleasantly professional.

"I-" he sighed as Adrian shifted in his seat.

"Rose?" he mumbled in a sleepy voice.

"Right here," I smiled looking at him. I was so happy he joined me in my stupid quest; even if I wouldn't admit it out loud.

Adrian looked from Pavel to me thoughtfully for a couple of seconds. "The idea of you watching me sleep is hot," he said pointing at me. "But you…" he grimaced pointing at Pavel, "are borderline creepy."

I laughed as Pavel rolled his eyes.

"How long did I sleep?" he asked me

"We'll be landing in about two hours," I said reaching forward to fold his collar.

"Don't forget what you promised," he said as a warning, but his tone was light and teasing.

"Promise? What Promise?" asked Pavel suspiciously and slightly annoyed.

"Well you know that our pilot is from Romania right?"

He nodded curtly.

"Adrian thought that it would be good for all of us to take a little break from the hunt. And," I smiled at Adrian. "I think he's right; a little break wouldn't hurt."

"How long…? I mean what would be the length of that 'vacation'?" he asked warily.

"Pretty short," I shrugged dismissively.

"I made Rose promise me two full days of extreme procrastination," Adrian said lightly. "And you'll have to agree that we all need that break. The trip has only been filled with frustration so far, and I really think our pilot could use a couple of days at home."

"It could be good, I agree." Pavel finally conceded with his usual professional voice that never allowed us to see his feelings. He was one of the most frustrating man ever!

"We're going to have fun trust me," Adrian said with a wink.

I chuckled as Pavel snorted. It was true that with Adrian we never really knew what to expect.

We talked about anything and everything for the remainder of the trip. Well, it was mostly Adrian and I talking as Pavel remained his usual, brooding self; hiding behind his dark sunglasses.

We checked in at a four star hotel as Adrian still had his high living standards. I had a room that had a communicating door with his because I was the 'Strigoi Detector'. If the nausea hit me I would have time to give a call to Pavel and rush into Adrian's room to protect him. Pavel was resting in the room across from Adrian's.

I tried to enter Lissa's head to see how things were back at Court, but it was the middle of the day there which meant that she was still asleep. I sighed looking out the window. The sun was still out so I decided to have a good look at the perimeter to try to find the best exits, the easiest escape routes, if needed. I doubted we would ever need them as we hadn't even crossed paths with a single Strigoi so far, but better to be safe than sorry.

"Better be safe than sorry. Always be prepared," I muttered to myself as I checked the back stairwell. I sounded so much like Dimitri.

When I opened the door back to our floor I jumped with surprise as Pavel was standing in front of the door.

"Why do you keep doing that?" I hissed angrily.

"Doing what?"

"Trying to scare me," I snapped.

"You seem really tense Rose, and that's… that's not like you." he said calmly as we started to walk back to our rooms.

"What are you doing? Acting like you've known me forever?" I hated the fact that he was right, and that it was so obvious.

He took his glasses off and placed his hand on my shoulder, stopping me. "Rose…" he started with a wary sigh. "We're a team in this… please?" he said and it actually shocked me to hear him ask that way.

I sighed looking around. "It's just…" I chewed on my bottom lip and gestured him to follow me into my room. I locked the door connecting my room to Adrian's to be sure Adrian wouldn't hear about my concern.

I gestured Pavel to the table at the other side of my room.

"My problem is Victor," I murmured, and it was partially true.

"Victor?" he whispered back clearly not expecting that to be my problem.

"You didn't see what he's capable of," I said almost shuddering at the memory. "He made his own daughter turn Strigoi you know," I whispered with urgency.

"I know…" he said with defeat in his voice.

"I saw him torture Lissa, make her suffer without even blinking. The... the man is insane and I know that he'll be able to use anything to get what he wants. I'm scared he'll finally find a way to get his Strigoi army and attack the Court to get on the throne, and," I sighed running my hand through my hair, "it will be entirely my fault."

"You are not the one who let him slip away Rose. I've been-"

I shook my head frenetically. "But I'm the one who wanted him out in the first place. I… I could have just kept to the plan. The same plan; except kill Dimitri instead of trying to save him. I would have kept my promise too by doing that."

"Do you regret it?"

"Saving his soul?"

Pavel nodded.

"No, of course not!" I said almost offended. Maybe I was selfish. I wanted him beside me, but even as he left me I never regretted the sacrifice I made; the hard choices. "I could never regret giving Dimitri back to the world."

Pavel looked at me silently, almost thoughtfully, like he was trying to figure out what I was all about.

"He did what he had to do, you know?" I said as I rested my hands flat on the table. "I promised him that I would save his soul, one way or another. I did," I shrugged. "He doesn't owe me anything," I couldn't even believe how detached and calm I sounded. I should have totally gotten an Oscar for that performance.

Pavel nodded as he stood up. "Don't you worry too much about Dashkov, Rose. Even if we don't find him, the secret services are…" he smiled a bit, "as much as I hate to admit it out loud, pretty good. And if he really raises a Strigoi army well… We can have some inside info with Belikov."

Here it went, the stabbing pain deep in my chest, yet again. "Yeah, true we could contact him." '_Good luck with finding him first,' _I added to myself. Plus I really didn't want him to have to revisit his memories as a Strigoi more than he probably did already everyday.

"You'll phone me when Ivashkov is ready to move?" Pavel asked from where he stood by the door. His voice didn't sound questioning. It was an order hidden as a question, but it didn't bother me, it was Pavel.

"Yep, we're a team, remember?" I said trying to cheer up the mood a little bit. Well it was more for my benefit than his really. I was always scared that one memory, one word, would make my walls fall down; and that I would end up exposing the real extent of my pain, hurt and feelings of loss to the world.

"I'm sorry you had to figure it out so young Rose," he added. His hand was on the door handle; his eyes were full of an ancient sadness I didn't understand, but I wanted to.

I gave him a confused look. I had learned way too many things recently; things I'd rather never have figured out.

He gave me a tired smile. "The problem with happiness is that it always fades too fast."

He left the room without another word, leaving me standing up half frozen in the middle of my room all alone.

'_Happiness always fades too fast,' _I replayed his words in my head over and over again. It seemed so simple but also so true… so painfully true. It should teach me to enjoy what I have while I have it.

At that instant a knock on the door brought me back to reality. It took me a second to realize that it was coming from the door connecting Adrian's room to my own.

As soon as I opened the door I pulled Adrian into a bear hug.

"Thank you," I whispered, my face buried in his neck.

He hugging me back silently until I released him.

"Not that I don't love being welcomed like that," he said trying to sound teasing, but I could see the depth of his feelings in his eyes. "But what are you thanking me for?" he asked, taking my hand and intertwining our fingers.

I shrugged dismissively. "For being there for me. For always standing by me whether I'm right or wrong. Thank you for…" I chewed on my bottom lip. I knew perfectly well that what I was about to add was a big mistake.

"For…?" he encouraged.

"For loving me. For making me as happy as I could be under these circumstances."

Adrian flashed me his million dollar smile like I just gave him the most beautiful compliment ever. He brought our intertwined hands up and brushed my cheek with the back of his hand. "You don't need to thank me for that my little dhampir, I'm happy that you let me be there for you."

We stood there, staring in each other's eyes a bit longer than friends should ever be allowed to.

I shook my head to break the contact. I knew he wasn't trying to compel me but looking into his eyes always mesmerized me; now even more than usual.

"So? What are your plans for tonight?" I blurted out trying to break the intimacy of the moment. I just wasn't sure that I was ready to move on, not yet anyway. Even though I knew that if I ever fell in love and found happiness again it would be with the green eyed Moroi standing before me.

"That, my friend, is a surprise," he said with an overplayed evil laugh. "You'll find out soon enough."

I chuckled. "Okay Evil Master Mind, let me just jump in the shower quick and I'll meet you in your room in about twenty minutes. Deal?"

"Well okay since it would probably be stepping out of line to ask you if you need someone to scrub your back…" he trailed off.

"Stepping out of line to ask that? Not really." I stuck my tongue out. "However I'm pretty sure the answer would not satisfy your 'Little Adrian'," I said pointing to his pants.

He laughed his loud throaty laugh that I loved so much. "Who told you it was little?"

I couldn't help the light blush that crept on my cheeks. Usually joking about sex didn't make me uncomfortable whatsoever. I used to joke with my fellow novices all the time, but here it was different. There was a real sexual attraction between us and it wasn't all joking, it could happen… It was far too real and it was enough to make me uncomfortable; as if on a deeper level I was cheating on Dimitri. '_Idiot!' _I thought angrily. '_He told you to move on!' _Except that whatever might have been said I was not ready to move on; I still loved Dimitri way too much for that.

"Okay Mr. _Pervy McPerverson_, time to go now," I said pointing to the open door between our rooms. "I'll see you in a bit." I added as he walked through the door.

I closed the door but didn't bother locking it. I knew he would know that as he wouldn't hear the lock, but it didn't matter. I knew he wouldn't bother me or try anything. He loved me too much to do anything that could hurt me; or at least I hoped so.

I had already made that mistake once with Dimitri. I always thought that he wouldn't hurt me willingly, but he did as he walked out of the doors of the Academy, leaving me behind. He hurt me more than his Strigoi self ever could.

As soon as I stepped out of the shower I phoned Pavel and went to collect Adrian.

We followed Adrian's lead in the buzzing streets of an early summer evening, as the sun was starting to set in the horizon.

"We're here!" Adrian said cheerily pointing at the blue neon sign in front of us.

Pavel snorted, and even though I couldn't see his eyes behind his dark sunglasses I bet they were rolling into the back of his head.

"You've got to be kidding me!" I exclaimed, looking at the flashing neon sign stating, _'Karaoke bar'_.

"It'll be fun! Come on!" Adrian grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the bar.

'_Let the evening of hell begin,' _I thought stepping in the noisy bar.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N:** Hey guys!!

Well here the chapter 2 you were waiting for. I know many of you want to know if it will be a Rose/Adrian or Rose/Dimitri story well you'll have the beginning of an answer to that at the end of chapter 3... Next chapter will have a **_HUGE/ENORMOUS_** revelation.

I wanted to particularly thanks al my reviewers you are the one that keep me going.

Also a big kudo for Jess my Beta. You are awesome girly =D

Well I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review. Your reviews always bring a smile on my face.

Take care

Steffy.

**Chapter 2:**

As we walked into the bar, I quickly scanned the area for threats. It wasn't like I really needed to, as my stomach was calm which meant there were no Strigoi for at least a quarter mile radius, but I did it anyway. It was how I was trained; it was part of me.

The bar was actually pretty full. Was I the only one who found Karaoke bars lame? Probably.

My eyes stopped at a table where two young male Moroi were sitting with four dhampir girls. By their look and style they were probably blood whores. My eyes finally met with a tall man standing behind them.

I elbowed Pavel softly and jerked my head in the direction of their table.

"Yeah, I know," he said simply, keeping his eyes on the guardian. Or at least I thought it was the guardian he was looking at; it was hard to say with his sunglasses blocking my view of his eyes.

"Adrian?" asked one of the Moroi with a bright smile.

"Of course he knows him," I muttered to Pavel. "We are in Eastern Europe and the first bar we go to, there is a Moroi who knows Adrian… It's like he is Beyoncé or something."

Pavel couldn't help but crack a smile.

"Man, Rose you could have chosen someone more masculine." Adrian said with mock hurt.

"Okay… Madonna? Is that better?"

"Much better," he said with a wink.

"Come on Mate," the blond Moroi said with a thick English accent, gesturing to the table. "There are people I'd like you to meet." And, by the way he said that, glancing at the blood whores at the table, I knew too well what he meant.

Adrian gestured for him to wait a minute.

"That is Peter Zeklos."

"All the Zekloses are douches, I should have known. What is he even doing here?" I couldn't help but snap.

"Well this is a bar where Moroi go. I thought it would be easier for you to have fun knowing there were other guardians around."

I couldn't help but smile. It was a nice attention even if spending the night with moronic royals was far from being fun for me.

"We can just go sit with them for like ten minutes. I can't really turn him down," he said glancing at the table where the two Moroi and four dhampirs were staring at us.

"You go ahead," I said, discreetly brushing his hand with mine. "I'll go sit at the bar for a while and chill out. I'll come over a bit later with drinks so I won't have to suffer their company for too long. You know my love for the haughty, self-sufficient royals."

"But… I'm a haughty, self-sufficient royal!" he said interlocking our pinky fingers as discreetly as I had.

"Yeah you are," I grinned. "But you are _my_ haughty, self-sufficient royal."

"Yes I am," he said and this time there was no humor in his voice.

I winked at him before looking at Pavel. "You go with him; I don't know what that guardian is worth."

"Overprotective eh?" he asked, not waiting for an answer as he followed Adrian to the table.

I watched them while Adrian greeted the others and sat down on the table. I rolled my eyes before going to sit on a barstool at the other side of the oval bar to keep an eye on the table.

"Can I have a beer?" I asked the barman who was polishing a glass.

He looked at me but didn't move.

"You don't speak English, huh?"

I looked at a table in the far left corner of the room where some youngsters were having fun. I could hear from their accents that they were English, and with their moronic attitudes they were probably students. I would almost bet the stake in my belt that they didn't speak a word of Romanian.

"What's your twig with me dude?" I asked getting annoyed at the barman. "I know you speak English and I just want a damn beer, I'm legal."

I was about to jump from my stool when a firm hand rested on my shoulder.

"Nu mai fi un nenorocit si a da bere fata ei," Pavel said coldly to the barman as he took a seat on the stool beside me.

The man glared at him, but gave me a beer bottle.

"You speak Romanian?" I asked impressed; not a lot of people spoke Romanian. I knew a lot of people who could speak Russian, Adrian included.

"I am Romanian," he said calmly. Then he asked something in Romanian and the barman gave him a beer.

"Wow I know something personal about you!! That's a first! I need to go and write that in my diary tonight."

"Am I annoying you?"

"No it's not that. It's like…" I shrugged taking a sip of my beer. "It's like you know everything about me and I don't know anything about you. But I know; I know…" I rolled my eyes, "you want to keep it professional."

Pavel remained silent for a while staring at his bottle; I was almost sure it was his way to dismiss the subject.

"What's his problem with me anyways?" I asked jerking my head toward the barman. "I'm pretty sure he speaks English."

Pavel sighed in annoyance, but I knew he was annoyed at the jerk behind the counter, not at me. "Well he probably thought you were one of them," he said discreetly pointing to the girls at the Moroi table. A tall blond dhampir was flirting heavily with Adrian, so heavily I had to fight the urge to throw my beer bottle at her head. The green monster called jealousy.

"Ea nu este unul dintre ele să ştii. Ea este un luptator, la fel ca mine. Uită-te la gâtul ei, tatuaje. Nu sunt nici măcar jumătate erou ea este," Pavel said to the barman. "Just a sec," he told me as he turned around my bar stool so my back was to the barman. He raised my hair showing him my neck.

"I'm sorry," the man finally apologized when Pavel turned me back around again.

"It's alright," I said dismissively, looking at Adrian and the blond bitch again. "What did you tell him?" I asked still looking ahead.

"I told him that you're a guardian and I exposed your credentials, nothing more," he said shrugging.

Adrian looked in my direction and winked; completely ignoring the half naked woman beside him.

I grinned; somehow proud that, no matter what, I was the object of his affection.

"You're in love with him," Pavel stated without questioning.

I looked up at him taken aback. It was true that I loved Adrian but nobody knew that. I still had some trouble admitting it to myself.

"Why do you say that?" I asked not confirming or infirming anything.

"I'm super observant," he said without an ounce of humor.

I continued to look at him silently.

"He makes you happy."

I was not able to contain my snort. "Happy? Me?" I couldn't even remember the meaning of that word.

"Or at least as happy as you can be," he added as if I hadn't interrupted. "You pretend that you are not as hurt, as haunted, as you are; but I know better. However, when you are with Adrian, you seem more at peace than you are usually, even with the princess or Ozera," he shook his head.

"You pretend well, I won't deny that; but I can see that when you are with him, there is a small light in your eyes, a light that is missing with the others. I'm not saying that he keeps you whole, but you are suffering a bit less when you are with him. He is taming this constant pain, this constant yearning you are experiencing."

I looked at him agape. I wasn't even surprised that he somehow figured out I was in love with Adrian. We did spend almost 24/7 together for the last three weeks. What shocked me was how sure he was about the way I was feeling. "How do you know I'm that hurt? How do you know about this pain?"

Pavel took off his glasses and gave me a sad smile, "Because I've been you."

"You've… been me?" I asked incredulously, not expecting him to share anything with me.

He took a deep breath and nodded like he was trying to convince himself to do something. "I haven't been fair to you to begin with."

"You think?!" I blurted out before thinking, and immediately wanted to slap myself. I didn't need to serve him my sarcasm if I wanted him to share something personal with me.

Pavel shot me a slightly exasperate glance.

"Rose!" Adrian shouted from the table, gesturing for me to come while pushing the girl off of him.

"Give me a minute," I said with a wink.

He rolled his eyes but concentrated his attention on the Zeklos moron again.

Pavel was so silent that I thought I had missed my shot at uncovering his mystery.

"Her name was Charity," he said in a whisper. It was so low I was not even sure it was directed toward me.

"Charity…?" I tried encouraging him to continue.

He nodded, keeping his eyes on the label of his beer bottle as if he was reading it.

"She was just like you; impetuous, pigheaded, funny and had a good heart." He smiled sadly, his eyes were haunted by this ancient sadness yet again. "You know," he concentrated his attention on me again, "most of us, the private guardians, didn't choose this path for the money like most of you think," he shook his head, "at least not me."

"Tell me," I said gently resting my hand on top of his.

"I lost the two people I loved the most in this world on the same day," he said; unable to contain the tremor in his voice.

I squeezed his hand but remained silent.

"I used to be a guardian at the Academy near Hamburg where I mentored a young girl named Charity, and I can tell you I had my hands full with her." he chuckled wretchedly. "She was like the little sister I never had, I loved her so much," he took a deep breath.

I could feel my heart tightening in my chest. The pure sadness on his face and the use of the past tense when he spoke of this girl clearly stated that this story didn't have a happy ending.

"You know in some places, humans - other than feeders - are aware that we exist and they even work with us."

I was surprised by that, but I let him continue.

"Charity made friends with a human girl, Annie," he said almost choking on the name.

I bit my bottom lip. I knew this sound only too well, it was the way I almost choked every time I said Dimitri's name back when he was Strigoi.

"Annie… Annie became very important to me. I was so happy, you know," he gestured to the barman for another drink. "Things were perfect, I was happy… blessed. But--" he shook his head in defeat.

"It didn't last," I confirmed.

"I told her… I told her so many times not to act impulsively," he said so quietly I wasn't even sure he was talking to me anymore. "She was one of the best novices; but she was always acting first, thinking later and once again… when that Moroi went crazy… Maybe he was a Spirit User," his hand that was under mine started to tremble.

"He bit Annie and killed her to turn Strigoi. I wasn't there, but Charity didn't call me! She should have called for help but she didn't. I… I lost them both in a snap of a finger."

"I'm-- I can't even say I'm sorry because I can't understand how bad it hurts." I said not being able to comprehend how I would feel if both Lissa and Dimitri were dead at my feet. "I don't think I could survive it," I said out loud.

"You would survive Rose. I thought you were like Charity, and you are, but you're also a lot like me." He gave me a small smile. "I'm just not sure that it's a good thing."

"I think I could do much worse, and-" I was interrupted by a change in the lighting. The room went dark and some spotlights were directed to the little stage at the end of the room where a man was standing with a microphone.

Pavel tensed up looking around.

"Don't worry, that's why I only drank a beer. My Strigoi detector is fully efficient, but maybe we should go sit at the small table over there," I said pointing at the table just behind Adrian.

Pavel stood up offering me his hand to help me down from the high barstool. "Yeah we never know, that girl might try to rape our Moroi."

"And then I'll have to kill her," I said somberly.

"Jealous much?" he asked teasing. It was funny, but the little emotional moment we just shared seemed to have completely changed our relationship.

"It's possible," I said sitting loudly to attract the attention of the other table.

"Okay so who wants to sing first?" the DJ asked the crowd.

"I do!" shouted the blond whore jumping from her seat next to Adrian.

I snorted. Her red dress was so short it was barely a shirt! "That bitch," I muttered making Pavel laugh.

Adrian turned his seat around to join us at our table.

"Thanks for saving me my little dhampir."

"Anytime…that's what I'm here for."

"Hi! I'm Jenna, and I want to dedicate this song to the pretty boy with green eyes sitting just there," she said pointing at Adrian.

Adrian rolled his eyes making both Pavel and me laugh.

As the music started I had to admit, quite shamefully, that I recognized the song almost immediately. It was _I'm so Excited _by the Pointer Sisters.

_Tonight's the night we're gonna make it happen_

_Tonight we'll put all other things aside_

_Get in this time and show me some affection_

_We're goin' for those pleasures in the night_

_I want to love you, feel you, wrap myself around you_

_want to squeeze you, please you, I just can't get enough_

_And if you move real slow I let it go_

"Give me your bottle," I said to Pavel. "The room is dark, I can knock her unconscious without her even knowing where it came from."

When she was done singing the big jock from the table by the bar took her place singing some Muse song.

Jenna came back to sit, almost purring against Adrian.

I took a deep breath. "Listen honey I'll tell you only once, take your hand off him," I said pointing to the hand that was rubbing his forearm, "or I'll break your pretty fingers. Do you get it?"

"I… Adrian!" she cried theatrically. "Are you going to let her talk to me like that?"

"Absolutely," he said grinning as he reached for my hand.

"What-- What is that?" she asked pointing at our intertwining fingers.

"I'm in love with her," Adrian said, like it was evidence. "I told you I wasn't interested."

"Uh…" she grunted, "total waste of your love if you want my opinion," she said giving me a scornful look.

Unfortunately, Pavel knew me too well already and he managed to restrain my arm before my fist could reach her nose.

"No hitting Rose," he said amused.

"I'll try," I said crossing my arms on my chest, but apparently my look was enough to make her turn around.

We chatted about everything and anything, Adrian saw a flyer for a fair in town and we decided to go the next day, before going to the Doru's home outside Brasov.

It was nice to chat when Pavel was actually participating. I unsuccessfully tried to muffle a yawn.

"Tired?" Adrian asked.

"A bit," I answered sheepishly. "Do you mind going back at the hotel now?" I asked looking from one to the other.

"No," they said in perfect synch.

"Just let me use the bathroom, and then we can go," Adrian said as he stood up.

I nodded.

About a minute later I heard a familiar voice ring out from the microphone. "Okay since we're here, I thought, why not?"

I looked up briskly to find Adrian on stage addressing the crowd.

"He is so _not_ doing that," I muttered through clenched teeth.

"He so is!" Pavel said, apparently enjoying the moment.

"This is a song for my Rose," he said looking straight at me. Well in my direction, because I was pretty sure that with the spotlights shining directly in his face he couldn't see me.

I groaned, unable to stop the flush on my cheeks. Most girls would love for a man to sing for them but I was not one of them, I HATED the attention.

"I'm so going to kick his ass," I said glaring around the room at nothing in particular; anything other than the beautiful man singing to me from the stage.

The screen showed the title of a song I didn't know. _Amazing_ by Hedley.

_Say a prayer, say a little common sense _

_Stay right there, stay right there in our defense _

_Give a little, bit, give a little bit more Just a little bit, babe a little bit more_

_ You're amazing, you're amazing and its true _

_No one can save me, no one can save me like you do_

_ This is crazy, yeah its crazy but it's true _

_So baby save, baby save me like you do_

_Stay away, stay, close enough to care I love that name,_

_ yeah I see it everywhere _

_Can we get along, can we get along much more_

_ Just a little bit, babe a little bit more _

"You know it's better to be a little happy than not happy at all." Pavel whispered, keeping his eyes on Adrian.

"I-- he deserves more."

"He knows how damaged you are, and you know how fast happiness can be destroyed."

_And when you found me I was barely breathing _

_You take my heart and you make it even I'll be your strong side_

_ I've grown And every part of me will never go back _

_It's what you started in me you better know I'm all yours... _

"What are you saying?"

He shrugged, "I'm just saying that you could maybe try to be happy while you can."

_You're amazing, you're amazing and it's true_

_ No one can save me, no one can save me like you do _

_Yeah this is crazy, yeah it's crazy but it's true _

_Baby save me, baby save me like you do _

_Baby save me like you do_

I didn't get the chance to add anything as the song was over and Adrian came back to the table.

"Sorry but I had to," he said while studying me, probably to see how angry I was.

I stood up and reached for his hand. It would have been two minutes before I would probably have snapped at him, but maybe… maybe Pavel was right.

"Thank you," I simply replied.

We walked silently back to the hotel in the quiet, dark streets. It was already the middle of the night, only a couple of hours before dawn.

I had been in bed for about an hour and I was far from sleeping, even if I was tired. I was restless, tossing around. I finally looked at the ceiling with a heavy sigh of despair.

Maybe Pavel was right, even Dimitri told me to move on before he left. It has been more than six weeks and he hasn't even sent me a text to see how I was doing. Maybe it simply meant that he didn't love me anymore.

But Adrian was here…. Adrian was always here, right or wrong, he stood beside me.

I took a deep breath and got out of the bed tip toeing to Adrian's room through the connecting door.

He was snoring lighting, sleeping right in the middle of the bed; and I couldn't help but smile watching him sleep. He probably felt my presence in the room, because after only a couple of minutes I saw his eyelids begin to flutter.

"Rose?" he said sleepily. "Are you… Is there something wrong?" he asked with worry increasing in his voice.

"Fine, I'm fine," I said rushing to his side. "I just…" I bit my bottom lip for a minute. "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

I saw his eyes widen despite the darkness. He moved on one side opening his arms silently.

I crawled into the bed beside him resting my head on his bare shoulder. Adrian adjusted the covers carefully before wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"Goodnight my little dhampir," he said tenderly kissing the top of my head.

"Goodnight," I replied, eyes closed taking in his unique musky sent, snuggling even more against him.

Pavel was right, being with Adrian made me feel better; the love he felt for me eased my pain.

I was scared to be with him even if part of me wanted to. I didn't want to cause him any pain, I didn't want to deceive him; but I couldn't mislead him, my aura was telling him how I felt. I did love him, of course I did only not as much as I loved Dimitri… not as much as he deserved to be loved.

"I love you," he whispered after a while.

"Me too," I said already half asleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!

First let me thank you for all your awesome reviews. They brought big smiles on my face.

I also want to thanks Jessica for the time in rereading the story.

I just wanted to add that this chapter MIGHT come as a shock to some of you well , there is no need to bash telling me how much you hate it (if you do hate it lol) because it won't change much, the storyline is there, and there is always a reason for everything I do so…

Anyways now I'll stop my rambling.

I hope you're going to enjoy the chapter at least as much as I enjoy reading your reviews.

Take care

Steffy.

_Disclaimer: I just wished I owned VA (sniff sniff) but it's not the case (pout)_

**Chapter 3**

I started to wake up and it didn't feel awkward like I thought it might. I was feeling relaxed, almost at peace. I was warm and safe in Adrian's arms. I could hear his soft breathing; his chest was against my back and one of his arms was wrapped tightly around my waist.

I smiled in the dark room, but didn't move. I liked the feeling of his chest rising softly and regularly to the pace of his breathing. I finally opened my eyes to look at the alarm clock, it was afternoon already. We would have to move soon, but right now I felt good right where I was, and it had been so long since I felt that way.

I took a deep breath closing my eyes again, enjoying having his body against mine as if he was subconsciously claiming me. What is that bad? Was I a phony? I was always so scared to play him involuntarily, but right now I felt loved, wanted and cared about. It felt nice - so nice - that I didn't want that feeling to stop. I loved seeing myself through Adrian's eyes; see his unwavering love, tenderness and pride to be by my side.

Was it so bad to give a relationship with Adrian a try even if deep down I was still craving someone else? Someone who I wasn't even sure existed anymore? Because I couldn't help to think that Dimitri - _MY_ Dimitri - couldn't have turned his back on me like he did. Whatever the issues might have been he would have stood by me.

I let out a small sigh that was of both content and despair. I was content to realize that I could still feel safe and loved in someone else's arms, and despaired because for the first time since the fight in the caves I seriously considered letting go of Dimitri.

Adrian's arm tightened around my waist, and I felt his heart rate increase slightly. I smiled, knowing he was awake.

I brushed his arms around my waist lightly with my fingertips until my hand cupped his.

"I thought it was a dream," he said with his sleepy voice. His voice was so husky and rough when he was waking up; probably due to all the smoking and drinking that he seemed to have tamed to a perfectly acceptable level, just for me.

"What was?"

"You… beside me," he replied, sliding down the bed until his face was buried in my neck.

I turned around to look at him, but now his nose was skimming the hollow at the base of my neck.

"I enjoy being here too," I said sincerely.

He kissed my neck and I felt like an alarm started to beep; it was too early, too fast.

I brought my hand to his cheek, "Come on. Let's get up if you want to make it to the fair," I said as I brushed his cheek softly and wiggled out of his grip.

Adrian sighed, but let go of me as he turned onto his back.

"Too early," he simply stated looking at the ceiling. "I should have known."

I leaned down kissing his jaw line.

"Just give me a bit more time," I said just before getting out of bed.

Adrian nodded silently. "You know what? Go get ready, I'll order something to eat," he said jumping off the bed.

"Thanks," I said before almost running back to my room. I was so confused; a part of me was pushing me into his arms while another part - a very annoying part - was making me feel guilty for trying to be happy.

As I slid into the shower, I could still feel Adrian's soft lips on my neck, as if burned into my memory.

When I went back into Adrian's room, freshly washed and dressed; breakfast was already set on the table. Seeing all the food made my stomach growl loudly.

Adrian chuckled loudly, and I felt relieved to see that he got over the partial rejection.

"Hungry much? I didn't know what you wanted, so I ordered a little bit of everything," he said gesturing to the table as he sat down.

"I'm starving," I said taking the seat across from him. "Did you… feed?" I asked curiously, seeing the flush on his cheeks.

"Yep," he answered with a jerk of his head toward the mini fridge.

"I can only imagine the maid opening the fridge, her face would be priceless!" I chuckled as I bit a big chunk of a wholegrain bagel.

Adrian looked at me with a glint of humor in his eyes.

"What?" I asked my mouth still half full.

"I love watching you eat," he said with a slight shrug. "You aren't like any other woman I've ever met."

"I love food, sue me!" I exclaimed in mock anger because I knew it was a compliment coming from him.

"I wouldn't dream of it," he said winking. "I--"

He was interrupted by my phone.

"It's Pavel," I said as I jumped up and ran to retrieve my cell from my room.

"How do you know?"Adrian asked, apparently surprised.

"Don't you hear the ring tone? It's _The Exorcist_," I said chuckling before answering.

"Hey."

"_Didn't you hear me knock at your door earlier?" _

"Well…" I was glad he wasn't here to see me blush, "I was probably in the shower." But I was pretty sure it was while I was sleeping comfortably in Adrian's arms.

"_Uh… Well whatever. I just wanted to know Ivashkov's plans for today," _he sighed loudly. "_You know I never thought I would say this, but I'll be happy when this super procrastination phase is over_."

I chuckled, "One more day."

Pavel stayed silent. He was trying to bond with me, but he was still pretty much disabled socially.

"I'll ask," I said as I walked back into Adrian's room and sat back down at the table across from him. "Pavel wants to know what your plans are for today."

"Well…" he reached behind him and slid the pink flyer toward me for the _Parcuri de Distracţii, _or as Pavel traduced the funfair.

"The funfair still."

"_Urgh! I hoped he would change his mind. You know, here… well, it's not like the ones in America." _

"Well I'll find out pretty soon. I'll give you a call when he's ready to leave."

"_Okay, see you later." _

"Not so hot on the fair part, huh?" Adrian asked as I started to eat again.

"I think the issue is the fun part really," I said teasing. "Nah, it will be fine; don't worry about it," I added dismissively. "He's just happy to go back to work tomorrow."

"What about you? Excited to go back to work?"

"Well," I shrugged, "it's not like I don't enjoy being with you because I surely do, but I like to have a goal."

Adrian gave me an half smile, "Yeah without a set goal… you don't like that."

"I… guess," I said frowning in confusion

Adrian shook his head dismissively, "Okay I'm going to get ready."

"Yeah you do that," I said following him with my eyes to the bathroom.

"Umm, can I call you if I need a back scrub or something?" he asked just before entering the bathroom.

"Sure!" I said with exaggerate enthusiasm, "I'll send Pavel."

Adrian grimaced. "Yeah… I think I can handle it by myself."

"You don't say."

Pavel was right; the fair wasn't exactly what I had expected. It was a lot more like the country fairs back in the US, but it was pretty enjoyable nonetheless.

I was holding a nice, cuddly teddy bear that Adrian won for me at a shooting stand. I didn't know that he knew how to shoot, but it was true that - with his Moroi vision - it wasn't that much of a challenge.

Nevertheless, I loved that teddy bear. I felt completely normal for one of the first times of my life. It was such a normal evening, a guy taking a girl to a fair and trying to impress her by winning her a cuddly teddy, well if you left out the whole Pavel there as a bodyguard thing.

"What do you want to do now?" Adrian asked as he reached for my hand.

I didn't take it back, because I considered this evening as a date, a very nice date.

"I'm actually hungry and thirsty," Pavel said without even looking at us.

"Yeah me too," Adrian agreed. "What about you?" he asked squeezing my hand.

"You know how much trouble I have saying 'no' to food," I answered teasingly.

"Oh yeah! That's why sometimes I wish I were a donut," Adrian said with a wink.

Pavel let out an overplayed disgusted noise.

"Mă scuzaţi!" we heard a woman's voice call as we passed a stand.

The three of us turned around to see a blonde woman waving at us. She was dressed in Bohemian Style clothes and was probably in her fifties.

She was at a stand with a small sign that said _Vrăjitor_. I knew exactly what it meant thanks to Dimitri.

"A Psychic? Just for us?" I asked trying to sound teasing, but I knew they could be good… very good.

Adrian looked at me curiously, probably wondering how I knew what she was.

Pavel grunted, "Like we need that."

When she saw that we weren't approaching her she rushed to us, but she had her eyes locked on only me.

"Tu eşti sursa de lumina," she said as soon as she reached us.

"What? What?" Adrian asked with a small smile. "Man, for the first time in my life I regret not knowing how to speak Romanian."

"De viaţă eşti grijă este preţios. Acest copil... că sufletul oure va alunga întunericul pentru totdeauna. Aceasta va distruge Strigoi," she added reaching for my hand.

I froze; maybe I didn't understand anything but 'Strigoi'… That word I knew only too well.

"What did she say?"Adrian asked a bit more intensely as he probably heard the word Strigoi as well as I did.

"Never mind," Pavel said as he went to stand beside Adrian and rested a hand on his shoulder; but the look he sent me showed me the contrary. It was a glance of both disbelief and urgency. I needed to know what she was saying.

The woman looked at Adrian and her eyes turned sad, "Dragostea ta cea mai mare... Va fi cea mai mare durerea ta," she said apparently sorry.

"I don't speak Romanian," Adrian said in frustration.

The woman seemed thoughtful, as if she were searching for the right words. "Your—"

"She said that your greatest love will be your greatest pain." Pavel explained severely. He shot a warning glance to the woman, a look that said '_shut it'_.

"Oh…" Adrian looked at me quickly, "well, sucks to be me," he said trying to sound teasing, but it didn't fool me, he was clearly worried.

"Come on, let's go," Pavel nudged Adrian. "I'm hungry."

"Yeah… you're right," Adrian nodded, still staring at the woman,

Pavel and Adrian took the lead; I turned from the woman to follow them when she caught my hand.

"Rose, let's go" Adrian said warily.

"Go ahead," I said with a forced smile, "I'll be there in a minute." After the look that Pavel gave me I wanted to find out what she had said.

"We'll be at the little refreshment stand there," Pavel pointed to the red tent while he kept his grip on Adrian's shoulder.

Adrian shot me a disapproving look - lips pursed - but he followed Pavel.

As soon as they turned around I concentrated my attention on the woman.

"Trebuie sa ma crezi, că copilul este –" she started still griping my hand.

I shook my hand, "Slow down, I don't understand you at all."

"You… the baby is important. Very important," she said pointing at my belly.

"Baby?" I asked with wide eyes before bursting into laugher. "Oh woman that is the only thing that couldn't be," I shook my head, "but nice try."

"Please…" her eyes were begging. "Believe, you have a baby in you, very important life." she insisted with her thick accent.

"And you don't seem to understand that it can't be. Dhampirs can't—" I stopped dead in my tracks, my eyes widening. Dimitri was not a dhampir anymore, at least not really. _What if--What if-- No! It's impossible_!

"You're mistaken," I said coldly getting out of her grip violently.

"No mistake," she shook her head vigorously. "You baby fight _întunericul_... darkness."

"I-- have to go," I said turning away briskly, and walking stiffly to meet Pavel and Adrian.

"Rose are you okay?" Adrian asked worriedly. "Your aura… it's all over the place," he added in a whisper.

I looked at Pavel quickly as he knew only too well what the woman told me. "Yeah I'm fine. I just… I have a big migraine starting."

"Let me try to settle it," Adrian said bringing his hand to my forehead.

"No!" I exclaimed as I grabbed his wrist, "I just need some aspirin and it will be fine; better keep your healing for something important."

"But nothing is more important than you," he explained like it was evidence.

I couldn't keep the warm feelings from filling me. I was the most important person in his life and it felt so good.

I gave him a chaste kiss. "I love you for that, but there is a pharmacy just over there," I said pointing to a green sign. "I'll be back in no time I promise."

"Maybe we should just go back to the hotel," he tried. "I mean… we already had our fun, no?"

I nodded. "Yeah, why not? Just give me five minutes," I said rushing toward the pharmacy before he could suggest joining me. I knew Pavel figured why I needed a pharmacy and that he would keep Adrian occupied for a little while.

I wanted to go straight to the counter, but since I didn't know how to say 'pregnancy test' in Romanian I decided to quickly browse the aisle.

I, ironically, found the pregnancy tests just across the aisle from the condoms. They should put a sign above the condoms _'Buy a box or look behind you for the consequences.' _That would have been a winner right there!

I took two boxes that seemed simple enough - they were the _'one line you're screwed, no line you're safe'_ kind - and grabbed a small box of aspirin at the counter.

I paid quickly and barely had enough time to put the pregnancy tests into my bag and exit the pharmacy before Adrian appeared beside me.

"Boy, I never saw a guy take that long to eat his hot dog," he said glaring at Pavel. "And of course he wouldn't let me leave before he was done."

"Awww, poor you," I said as I wrapped an arm around his waist and shot a grateful glance to Pavel.

I excused myself, telling them that I needed to sleep off my migraine and that if they wanted to go have dinner without me they were welcome to.

As soon as I walked into my room I almost ran into the bathroom. I knew it was impossible for me to be pregnant, or at least I hoped so.

I took both tests at once and set my watch flat on the counter beside them, ready to wait for the longest four minutes of my life.

I looked at myself in the mirror waiting, not even seeing my reflection. Being pregnant would be drama, but the scariest part would be the mystery. What would I be carrying? Dhampirs were not supposed to have children together, it just wasn't possible.

After the four minutes were up, I looked at the tests in a sort of daze. It took me a couple of seconds to register that the line showed up on both tests.

"No… no. Please no!" I whined loudly. "Please disappear!" I begged foolishly, shaking the test as hard as I could.

When I looked at the tests, the lines were still perfectly there, like they were taunting me.

''No!!!'' I roared throwing the test across the bathroom.

I was feeling a mix of emotions. They were so mixed up that I had trouble breathing. I was angry, incredulous, scared and confused all at once. I even – irrationally - felt furious against Dimitri for getting me pregnant.

"What am I supposed to do? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!!" My vision was blurry; I didn't even realize I was crying.

I decided to take a shower to try to calm down. I surely wouldn't do much tonight anyways… there wasn't much I could do right now.

I slid under the warm water and I actually didn't feel better. It was like I could feel the baby in my belly, growing in me, which was completely crazy since I couldn't be more than eight weeks pregnant.

I sat on the shower floor with my arms wrapped around my legs and rested my head on my knees. _My life really sucks!_ _Like I needed another complication in my life. _

I closed my eyes and lost track of time letting the warm water slide down my back. When I opened my eyes the skin of my fingers and toes was as crinkled as old prunes and I was not feeling any better.

I got out of the shower and jumped into my overused pair of grey sweat pants and my red tank top. I walked slowly to my bed trying to put this new complication in the back of my mind; at least until our return to the US.

I didn't feel like getting in bed as I knew I would dream - or at least think - about… about… I rested my hand on my stomach and turned around to look at the door connecting Adrian's room to mine.

In any other situation I would have run to his room, ask to sleep in his arms again, but now it felt wrong, almost obscene. Sleeping in the arms of one man as the child of another one was growing inside me.

I took a shaky breath and reached for my training shoes deciding to go out for a while. I ran up the stairs to the roof and sat on a ventilation case to look at the city lights.

"Was she right?" Pavel asked from behind me.

I jumped and turned around, "Holly Sh—"

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "I really should try to make myself known when I approach you."

"Yes please," I said taking a deep breath to calm myself down. "How did you know I was here?"

He looked at me thoughtfully. "I didn't. I always like being up high and looking at city's lights… It helps me think. She was right." he said simply and I couldn't tell from his tone what he thought about that.

"Yes," I whispered looking down. Acknowledging it out loud made it even more real.

"How do you feel about that?"

"I…" I sat back in defeat, "I can't be a mother Pavel. I mean… have you met me?" I asked with a humorless laugh. "I can barely take care of myself. I…" I shook my head, "It's just not possible."

"What are you going to do?" he asked as he sat beside me and took my hand in between his.

''I'm not a mom, I'll never be a mom.'' I said ignoring his question as I really had no idea of what I was going to do.

He let go of my hand and wrapped his arm around my shoulders to pull me into a hug. It was the first reassuring gesture that he'd ever given me and I realized how much I needed it. I started to cry silently on his shoulder.

"What am I supposed to do Gav?" I asked sobbing.

"I can't answer that Rose," he said while he rubbed circles on my back gently. "But I know you'll figure it out in your own time. Just give yourself some time and don't act too fast. You'll figure it out and… just know that whatever you decide to do I'll support you."

I hugged him back fiercely and silently.

We stayed like that until my tears finally calmed down. The crying and swirl of emotions had drained me completely. I fell asleep as soon as my head touched my pillow.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N: **Hey guys!!!

Firstly let me tell you how grateful I'm for the reviews. You guys are awesome and you took the pregnancy news a lot better than I thought.

Well I really hope you're going to enjoy this chapter too. Big kudos to Jess again for her support and fantastic beta skills.

Don't forget to review I love reading you.

Steffy.

**Chapter 4:**

I groaned when I heard someone knock on my door. I couldn't even open my eyes, and I thought that deep down I didn't really want to. When I was sleeping I didn't have to think about the mess that I made with my life; I could just fall into oblivion, and that was priceless. It was what I called the '_Ostrich politic_' or burying my head in the sand.

"Let me sleep," I mumbled, but I didn't know if I really said it out loud or just thought I did. Either way the knocking stopped.

A little while later I heard a voice from right beside me. "Rose? Rose it's time to wake up now We… we can't wait any longer." I felt a hand resting on my forehead and immediately knew who it was. This hand was far too warm and callous to be Adrian's - his hands were cool and soft - this was a guardian's hand.

As I opened my eyes, Pavel's face came into focus. He was hovering over me, his face full of concern. I looked around to see Adrian fully dressed leaning on the door frame between our rooms. I supposed that one of them got worried enough to invade my space, but I couldn't be mad, not after seeing the worry and concern on their faces.

"Hey…" I croaked, throat dry.

"Hey to you," said Pavel with a sigh of relief.

"What… are you guys alright?" I asked rubbing my eyes.

"We're fine. It's just…" Adrian walked toward me. "We were worried; you wouldn't wake up like-- I don't know."

"Like you were in some kind of coma," Pavel finished Adrian's thought. "You probably needed to sleep badly, but we had to wake you up. We waited as long as we could."

"I..." I frowned, "What time is it anyways?" I asked looking for the alarm clock.

"What the--" I jumped out of bed getting dizzy, Pavel reached out to steady me. "It's that late already! I--I'll be ready in ten minutes," I exclaimed looking at the clock again. The Doru house was about a two hour drive from where we were, which only left us about an hour of daylight protection to examine the house before nighttime.

"I'm sorry I didn't think I would sleep that long."

"It's okay, don't worry about it Rose. Even if nighttime hits I've got you and Pavel," he laughed. "I don't think any Strigoi will be idiotic enough to approach me."

I forced a small smile before rushing into the bathroom. "I'll meet you downstairs in fifteen minutes," I called back to them and closed the door behind me.

When I met them downstairs the car we rented was already ready to go. I sat in the back, beside Adrian, while Pavel drove through the beautiful Romanian country side. I tried to concentrate on everything I saw or on the mission that was still lying ahead; anything actually to forget about the life growing inside of me. Maybe if I ignored the problem long enough it would just go away. It was totally absurd but right now that was all I had.

"I waited for you last night," Adrian whispered in my ear, bringing me back to reality.

"What?" I asked puzzled, turning to look in his eyes.

"To join me," he explained with a small sheepish smile. "It's--" he shook his head, "forget it."

"I… I just needed some sleep," I said looking away again, but I gripped his hand and gave him a good squeeze. He squeezed my hand back and remained quiet for the rest of the trip, something I was thankful about.

We made it to the Doru house by late afternoon - very late afternoon -, and I knew that if we wanted to have a good look at the house - a thorough look – we wouldn't be leaving until after nighttime. This was my fault because I couldn't get my sorry ass out of bed and these two men were just too nice to wake me up any earlier.

"You stay here. I just have to get a quick feel around the place to be sure that there aren't any Strigoi too close okay?"

"But it's daytime," Adrian said as he got out of the car to follow me.

"Can't you just listen for once in your life?" I snapped, almost immediately regretting it when I saw the hurt in his eyes. "I--" I sighed, "I know there aren't any Strigoi up yet," I said much more nicely rubbing his arm. "But there could be one lurking, waiting in the dark somewhere in the house or basement or…" I shrugged, "well anywhere really; just waiting for nighttime to jump on us. It's still safe for now, for all of us. Let me just use our small advantage."

Adrian searched my face, I could see he was still surprised by my outburst, especially for something as trivial as that, but he nodded and took a step back.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Stay close," I said to Pavel jerking my head toward Adrian.

Pavel went to stand beside Adrian as I made a quick tour around the house.

"It's okay the area seems safe enough. We can go in." I stopped in front of the door and turned around, "I think maybe we should separate to have a quicker look in the house." I gave Pavel a serious look, "You don't let him out of your sight." I might be the Strigoi detector, but I never met a guardian as deadly as him, except for Dimitri.

"Yes mother," Pavel chanted with a lopsided smile. I shook my head, I knew I was a bit overprotective of my friends; but it's just the way I was, and I certainly wouldn't apologize for that.

"Anyways… I'll take the top floor. Is that ok?" I waited for them to nod before concentrating my attention on the lock. It was a single lock, very simple to pick. As soon as I opened the door, I realized that nobody was there, it was way too quiet.

I let out a sigh of despair as I went up the stairs. Maybe I could find clues; maybe they had been here recently… I watched enough procedural cop shows to look for the basics. I entered the bathroom and directly looked in the toilet; the water wasn't stagnant which meant that someone flushed the toilet in the last week.

"Fuck!" I muttered. He had been there, we were so close. That was even more frustrating.

I walked into the room that was en suite of the bathroom and quickly looked around. I scanned the bookcase and found an old, battered photo album. The first pages were two boys in their early teens, one was blonde and the other had dark hair. I didn't need to be Horacio Caine to figure that it was Victor and Robert.

I frowned; the house in the background wasn't the one we were at. I carefully took the picture out of the album and turned it around. It said _'Robert & Victor, Vaduz Liechtenstein summer 1974'._

"Liechtenstein?" I said out loud. "Is that even a real country?"

"They were here not so long ago," Pavel said from behind me. I turned around briskly to find him standing in the door frame, Adrian just a step behind.

"Yeah I guessed that too," I grimaced. "How did you figure it out?"

"The food in the fridge and the garbage wasn't that smelly," he cocked his head to the side like he was putting everything together to find his conclusion. "I'm pretty sure they were here no more than two days ago."

"Fuck shit!" I cursed making them both chuckle. I knew it sounded pretty moronic as far as cursing was concerned, but I just couldn't stop myself sometimes.

"It's ok Rose," Adrian said soothingly as he entered the room. "We're getting closer, we'll find him."

"I'm just fed up," I said as I sat on the foot of the bed.

"I know…" Pavel said wearily.

"But I think I have a lead on something," I said extending the picture toward him. "I'm not even sure that this Liebstein... Liecht…whatever even exists."

"Liechtenstein?" he asked looking at the back of the picture. "It's a little country here between Switzerland and Austria. It only has about 30,000 people."

I gave him my best _'what the fuck' _face. "Honestly is there anything you _DON'T_ know?"

"Of course!" he said grinning. "I couldn't tell you…" he thought for a second, "here, I have no idea what Barbra Streisand's first movie was," he said with a wink.

"Easy it was _Funny Girl_," Adrian said without thinking. Both Pavel and I locked eyes with him.

"Are-- are you sure you're not gay?" Pavel asked, trying his best to keep a straight face, "because you sound very gay to me."

"Yeah dude, don't share that kind of info with the world. That's never cool," I explained in mock shock. "I'll forget you ever said that."

Adrian rolled his eyes, but I could see a little flush of embarrassment on his cheeks. He was very cute when he flushed, but that was forbidden for me to notice now, not while I was carrying another man's child.

"We should move now," Adrian said as he looked at his watch. "I don't think there is much left here and it's already night, not that I'm scared or anything. I'm with GI Joe and Jane so…"

"Okay Barbra, let's go," I said standing up.

"Oh come on… this is going to last forever isn't it?" Adrian whined.

"Nah… you're too cute," I said and almost immediately regretted it.

As soon as we came close to the car a huge wave of nausea hit me, and I only had the time to turn around before seeing a tall blond Strigoi rushing out of the bushes.

"I'm supposed to kill you for Victor Dashkov's sake," she yelled as she ran toward Adrian.

At that instant I did something that I never thought I would do. Instead of stepping in front of Adrian - like I had been trained to do - I took step back, protecting myself. Of course Pavel - being as fast and lethal as a cobra - managed to stake her before she even reached the secure circle around Adrian, but I was shocked. My reaction had the effect of ten buckets of ice water being dumped on me. I just caved like a coward. I've put my own life before a Moroi's, which was just unacceptable.

"Rose…" Adrian said in a concerned voice. He brought his hand slowly to rest on my arm as if I were a wild animal. I didn't know what my face looked like at that instant, but it was probably something disturbing.

"Don't," I whispered as I took another step back and met Pavel's eyes. I expected - even hoped – that there would be anger in his eyes. Or deception, anything to show that what I just did was inexcusable, but his eyes were only full of concern and something else… I couldn't understand, not in this context, it looked like pride.

"Rose--" Adrian tried again with a soothing voice.

"I want to go home," I said harshly, but they didn't flinch at my tone. They probably knew me well enough now to figure that this anger was directed at myself only.

"Okay, you're right it's probably better if we go back now," Adrian reasoned with a small smile. I knew that seeing me cringing away from his touch probably hurt him, but he hid it pretty well.

I shook my head vigorously. "No you don't understand, I want to go home, to the US. I--I give up! I don't want to hunt him anymore. I want to go back to my life. Lets tell the Secret Services what we have; it's their job after all! I-- I give up," I finally let out.

"You give up?" Adrian asked with so much incredulity that I thought he would fall back flat on his butt. Pavel's eyes were surprised too, but it was understandable. I was pretty sure that nobody expected that I had the expression _'giving up' _in my vocabulary. To be fair I didn't know I had it either.

"I want to go home first thing in the morning. It's over--It's all over," I said on my way back to the car. I got in the back seat, crossed my arms over my chest and stared out the window. I knew I looked a lot like a spoiled child at this instant, but I still couldn't believe I acted like such a coward.

"Okay," Adrian nodded with defeat as he got into the car and sat beside me. He almost immediately took his phone out and began making calls. As Pavel drove back to town I could hear Adrian talk to our Pilot as well as the airport to arrange the flight plan for tomorrow. It was apparently a pain to arrange an international flight with such short notice, but Adrian was a very smart negotiator and I knew he would have his way eventually.

"We should be able to fly back tomorrow afternoon. That's the earliest I managed to get," he said. He raised his hand to touch me, but gave up and let it fall on his lap quietly.

I quickly glanced at him. "Thank you," I said and looked out the window again, not seeing anything since it was pitch black.

"You're welcome," he whispered. There was so much hurt in his voice, and it took all of my willpower not to turn and meet his eyes.

"I'll call the Secret Services as soon as we make it back to the hotel," Pavel said from the driver's seat, "the sooner they check the Liechtenstein lead the better."

I nodded, even if it was completely stupid because he couldn't see me. After a while the silence was getting awkward, so awkward that it made it hard to breathe. I took a deep breath, deciding to talk about anything, but nothing too personal.

"You know why she was there, don't you?" I asked still looking away.

"To kill us?" Adrian tried.

I snorted. "No. Victor isn't foolish; he knew perfectly well that this Strigoi didn't stand a chance against a half decent guardian." _Except a freaking Coward like me! _

"So why?" Pavel asked curiously. He shot me a glance in the mirror.

"To show us that he has a way to get Strigoi on his side; just how he controlled Natalie," I let out a grunt of disgust remembering how he '_sacrificed'_ his daughter to his foolish and selfish cause, "that he can use them to get to the throne."

"That's messed up" Adrian said with clear disgust.

"That's Victor Dashkov," I simply replied as if it explained everything.

The remaining hour of our trip back was made in complete silence again, but it wasn't awkward anymore, it was just… there. It was a deafening silence, like they knew nothing could be said anyways.

As soon as we stopped in front of the hotel, Pavel gave the car key to the valet and immediately reached for his cell, probably to call Arch. The guy was a douche, but he was the best agent out, and we all knew that.

"Rose, talk to me please," Adrian begged as we stopped in front of his room.

"Later Adrian, I--" I sighed, "just later okay?" I didn't wait for his answer, and rushed into my own room.

I paced around for a long time, like a restless lion in its cage. I couldn't believe that my instincts let me down when they did. What if Pavel hadn't been that close? What if he didn't react as well as he did? I would've had Adrian's death on my conscience!

That's why I needed to get back to Court; I wasn't safe for him anymore. I let out a tearless sob, and decided to go back on the roof to think.

"I was waiting for you," Pavel said calmly as soon as I opened the door. He looked at me with thoughtful eyes, "I knew you would come." He shook his head, "You shouldn't beat yourself up about it."

"I… I let him down," I explained as tears filled my eyes. "My instincts let me down in the worst way."

"Are you sure?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, "I think it's the exact opposite actually. Your instincts took over."

"What do you mean?" I asked confused. "I'm a guardian, it's in my blood."

He had a small smile, "Think about it Rose, replay the scene in your head. What did you do when you took that step back?"

"I---" I replayed the scene and realized that while I took the step back I rested my hands on my stomach like a shield. I did it again as I recalled the memory.

He looked at my hands; "Exactly!" he exclaimed while nodding approvingly. "You don't even remember doing it. You acted subconsciously; _that_ was your instinct Rose."

"My instinct?" I asked stupidly - still numb - realizing where he was going with this.

"Yes, any mother's instinct is to protect her offspring," he came closer and rested his hand on my shoulders. "What you said yesterday was wrong. You're a mother Rose. It's the maternal instincts that took over."

I sat down silently on the ventilation vent completely numb. "I'm a mother?" I questioned, and it sound far more like pleading than a question.

"Well I can't talk about maternal instincts that much, because let's be honest, I've never been a mother myself," he explained in a failed attempt to lighten the mood. "But my mom explained it to me. She said that some women have it and others don't. It's like something that flips inside of you, like a switch, and nothing is more important than the life you're carrying."

I nodded, rubbing my stomach subconsciously. I knew that he was right and it was the scariest thing I had ever felt. I had lives depending on me before, but no one had ever been as helpless and as dependant as this baby.

"I want to have this baby," I realized out loud. "I need to have this baby." He squeezed my shoulder silently. "I just don't know how to do it," I explained wearily.

"You'll figure it out," he said with clear confidence. "You just need to go with the flow."

"I need to tell them."

"Well you don't have to, but I think that even the slowest of all will see it eventually."

"I just don't want him to know," I said seriously. "He left me and I don't want to give him a reason to come back. I… I just don't want him to know," I repeated stubbornly.

"He doesn't have to find out. Most of them will believe it's Ivashkov's baby anyways. _**I **_would have believed it was Ivashkov's baby if I hadn't seen you sacrifice it all for Belikov. And well," he padded my shoulder again, "I've spent three weeks with you so I know. But believe me there is no way someone could think Belikov is the father. He is a dhampir to them, don't forget that."

I nodded, somehow cheered by the idea. Of course I hoped that Dimitri realized that he wanted to be with me, but not because I was expecting his child.

"I need to tell the truth to Adrian though," I said already cringing at the idea. "I just don't want to talk about it now. He's linked to Dimitri you know."

"Well I think he'll figure out who the father is; you don't need to tell him. You don't have to tell him anything about the baby now, but you need to talk to him nevertheless, he's worried about you."

"I know he is," I sighed. "I just… I don't want to hurt him."

"The longer you wait the more he'll get hurt."

"I'll see you tomorrow," I said giving him a half hug.

When I walked into my room I was only half surprise to find Adrian standing in the middle of it.

"Hey" I said closing the door behind me. It was better if I talked to him now, like a band-aid.

"Talk to me Rose, please," he begged with frantic eyes. "I don't know what I did, but I'm sure I can correct that. Things, things were going great," he ran a hand in his hair. "Things were going so well between us. I even… I even started to hope that we might become more, and then you flipped everything around. Your aura is all over the place. Please Rose; you have to talk to me."

"It's not you Adrian, it's--"

"Please don't let _'It's not you, it's me' _come out of your mouth," he said sitting at the end of my bed.

"You're right," I said sitting on the armchair across from him. "There is something wrong. Well maybe wrong isn't the right word. I just… I can't tell you."

"Why? Why on earth can't you tell?!" he asked even more hurt. "You know there's nothing you can't tell me. I will never judge you. I-- I will always love you."

"I don't want Dimitri to know. He _CAN'T _know!"

"Well I know how you can think that since him and I are BFF's and all."

"No, that's not the problem. It's just that sometimes when Lissa got very surprised she would pull me into her head without even realizing it."

Adrian blushed slightly with embarrassment and looked away.

"What?" I asked curious.

"I-- It doesn't work like that for us. Maybe… maybe because the other shadow kissed had a particular relationship, like family, friends, lovers," he shrugged slightly. "You were already linked in one way or another, but with us…" he cringed. "When you were doing very badly, I-- I wanted him to see what he was doing to you so I tried to pull him into my head, but he stopped me."

"He did?" I asked, and it hurt me badly. It could've been something important for which Adrian tried to pull him into his head, but he stopped him. "You remember how we worked to categorize Dimitri's aptitude before he left?"

Adrian nodded and I continued to elaborate, "His ability to stay in the sun and his diet being dhampir, his skin complexion being Moroi and his hearing and strength being Strigoi?"

"I remember Rose but what are--"

"Well I guess we can say that his sperm is Moroi too."

"His Sperm?! And how is that--" he stopped eyes wide. "No…" he huffed.

"Yes."

"You're…"

"I am."

"Sure?"

"Positive. I checked twice."

"How…?"

"No idea. Well I know _'how'_, I just don't get how--''

"Yeah I got that," he interrupted, looking even paler. "You're going to be a mom…" he said apparently trying to grip the concept.

"I am," I nodded.

"You're pregnant with Belikov's baby," he said in a daze.

I nodded again.

"I--I need to sleep," he said walking to his room like a robot.

_He took it better than I thought he would_. I lay in bed fully dressed. Tomorrow I would be on a plane back home, and I would deal with it the best I could, or at least I would try.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N:** hey guys!!!

I know how much you were waiting for this chapter so here we go. I know it's a bit long but as you can see my chapters are extra long. I'm working on chapter 6 as we speak. I didn't forget Dimka, don't worry.

Thanks to my faithful reviewers you guys rock my world!! And thanks to Jess for her fantastic beta skills.

Well thanks again for the support. I really appreciate. Don't forget to review and tell me what you think.

Take care

Steffy

Disclaimer: I don't own VA or its characters, I just wish I did lol.

**Chapter 5:**

We were in the plane back to New Hampshire. Even though I had decided to keep the baby now, I didn't know what to do about everything else, what to tell my friends.

"We'll be back at the Court in less than two hours," said Pavel to both Adrian and I.

For the first time since I met him, Adrian had lost his smug attitude. His eyes were red from lack of sleep, his face was unshaven… he was a real mess. It was almost like he found out that he was the one pregnant.

"So?" I asked Pavel in confusion.

He raised his eyebrow like he was saying '_seriously?_' "I think some things have to be said before the plane will land because…" he shook his head, "Just do it and get over it!" he snapped as he got up to join the pilot in the cockpit.

I looked into Adrian's stormy eyes for a couple of seconds before looking away. "I don't see what there is to talk about," I said still looking away. "You're angry, I don't see what there is to add."

"Angry? Against whom?" he asked, apparently confused.

I shrugged dismissively still looking away. I didn't want to show him how much his reaction hurt me. Yesterday he walked back into his room and even locked the door. I asked him to open it twice, but since last night he had barely said two words to me.

"Rose look at me please. Do you think that I'm mad at you?" he asked so nicely that I had to turn around to meet his troubled eyes.

"And I don't even see why you should get mad," I said deciding to unload it all; it couldn't make things worse anyways. "It's not like I tried to get pregnant I mean let's face it. How could I ever think Dimitri could get me pregnant uh?"

Adrian opened his mouth to talk, but I shut him up with a glare.

"And I mean it's not like I promised you anything, did I? I didn't choose it; I didn't choose any of it!!" I almost shouted, "Geez!! The way you're acting it's like you're the one pregnant!!"

"You think I'm angry at you?" he asked as if it was the stupidest thing he ever heard. "Of course I'm not!"

I snorted sarcastically, "You could have fooled me!!" I shook my head wearily and looked away again.

"I'm mad…" he said almost in a whisper. _No shit Sherlock! _

"I'm mad at everything, at life, at fate, but certainly not at you." he said with a broken voice. I turned my head slowly to face him again but he was looking down at his hands.

"I hate how jealous I am. It's just such a powerful feeling that I can't even breathe right. That… _guy,_" he spat the word, "he gave you the only thing I had on him. Rose…" he looked up with a sad smile. "You don't even know what I would give for this baby to be mine."

"Adrian I---" I started as his words were actually hurting me too. I never wanted to hurt him.

"He had it all, and walked away. How can one man get that lucky?" he ran his hand through his hair, "Things were getting good between us, I could see it on your aura. I started to hope that you could finally love me, that you would move on, and chose me and then… I can't admit it yet. I… just can't." He exhaled loudly, "Like I needed any more reasons to hate him."

"I never meant to hurt you," I tried to explain in defeat.

He looked up and gave me a tired smile, "I know that." He took a deep, shaking breath, "I wonder how the others are going to react to the news?"

"They will freak. As for Dimitri…" I shook my head, "they'll never know."

"What?!" he asked taken aback.

"I told you, I don't want him to find out about the baby, and nobody else for that matter."

"You… don't want him anymore?" he asked incredulous.

I shrugged, "I do want him, but for the right reasons. And I rather not have him at all than to have him back for the baby."

"You know they will think the baby is mine," he stated simply.

"Don't worry about it. I'll figure something out, and--"

"Let them believe it," he finally said, his green eyes darkened.

"What? How--"

"Marry me Rose. You know I'll love that baby as if he were my own. You do know that right?"

I looked at him completely taken aback. I expected a lot from Adrian, but that… that I never saw coming. "Adrian I---"

"I could make you happy, if only you gave me a chance," he added cutting me off.

"I know that. Oh Adrian… I know you could, but I can't make you happy and it's just not me. I'm not the girl that gets pregnant and married even if I love you, because you know I do."

"But not enough," he added in defeat.

"That's not the point Adrian. Even if I did love you differently," I shook my head, "This will be getting into a relationship for all the wrong reasons! Marrying someone because you're pregnant sucks, but marrying someone because you're pregnant with someone else's child is, I think, the most rotten excuse in the world."

"I---" he sighed, "Maybe you're right," he conceded. I could see that my vehement refusal hurt him, but what could be done really? We couldn't just pretend and let things flow.

It was now the time to face reality. I hadn't figured it out yet, maybe I wouldn't for quite some time, but all I knew was that I needed to come up with a believable story and figure out who I was going to tell first. I would do my best to take everything one step at a time; worrying too much wouldn't help.

"Will you be okay?" he asked in a voice full of concern.

I forced a small smile. "Let me get back to you on that," I tried to sound teasing but failed miserably.

"Who are you going to tell first? Lissa? Your mother?" he asked, and I could see his eyes go wary as he said the word 'mother'. Well I couldn't blame him; he was worried about me, and as far as Janine Hathaway was concerned, I was worried for me too. I had already experienced her wrath, and it was always pretty scary. But this… this news would probably cause World War III.

"Actually no. Neither. I need to talk to the Queen first."

"The Queen?" he asked. I was glad that he was sitting, because the way his face looked right now he would have fallen on his butt. "As in my tight ass Aunt who abhors you '_Queen'_."

I nodded.

"Why on Earth would you tell her? Especially first?! That's--That's--That's," he shook his head, "I don't get it." His face was almost comical and I would have laughed if the situation wasn't so desperate.

"I need to know how she intends to 'deal' with me as 'a situation' before organizing the future."

Pavel who had come back sat down after I nodded acknowledging his return. I really liked his respect to privacy.

"I don't see the role of the Queen on your future Rose, being pregnant is not a crime," said Adrian almost offended. I think he was suffering from a _'knight in shining armor' _syndrome. "You're an appointed guardian, and she can't demote you or anything."

"I know she can't but I want to," I said quietly as I felt guilty to do that to Lissa, even if she would understand, I was sure of it. Adrian looked at me - mouth wide open - as Pavel nodded, he understood.

"Well based on my _fantastic_ guarding experience yesterday," I said with heavy sarcasm, "I would be a liability to Lissa on the field and you know it." He opened his mouth but closed it again. He perfectly knew that he had nothing to add.

"I'm going to ask her to base me at the Court, and to assign another guardian to Lissa."

"And if she refused? Let's face it Rose, I don't want to be pessimistic, but she isn't your number one fan."

I chewed on my bottom lip. I knew it was possible for the Queen to refuse to help me out – he was right, she wasn't my biggest fan - but I didn't want to stress about that just yet. "I'll resign. What other choice would I have? But I don't think she will do that," I continued before Adrian could say anything. "A month ago I would have been sure that she would've refused, but today?" I shook my head.

"She's probably expecting something from me, I'm not stupid Adrian, and I know she isn't lenient with me because she has a good soul. But right now it's good to try. I think that she might agree and if she doesn't--"

"We'll figure out something," said Pavel soothingly, "don't worry about it just yet."

I gave him a small smile, "I know we will." I was far from knowing that, but it was what we needed to hear.

I wasn't surprised to find Lissa waiting for us on the runway as soon as the plane landed. My foot barely connected with the ground when Lissa jumped into my arms. She was so happy to have us back that she didn't even wonder why we stopped our hunting party so early, after only a month. I knew she would ask me soon enough and I needed to get a good answer ready by then.

"Your father will be here tomorrow," Pavel whispered discreetly as we made our way back.

I cringed, knowing only too well what it meant. I needed to have a perfect solution because my dad coming meant that my mom would tag along, and if I didn't have a viable solution well... I will have hell to pay.

I slowed down a little, to fall in step with Adrian. "I need to see the Queen today," I whispered, "Do you think you can help?"

"Today? Already?" he whispered in surprise. "You didn't even get used to the idea yourself."

"I don't have many choices, the parents are coming tomorrow."

Adrian grimaced and nodded. "I'll find a way, I'll text you the time and place," he added before saying a quick goodbye and taking off toward the Queen's quarters.

I spent an hour with Lissa, Christian and Pavel as Lissa gave me a quick summary on her work regarding the Strigoi reversion. She also told me that Oksana didn't feel comfortable with coming to Court, and simply posted her part in the whole story. I couldn't blame her, for someone getting out of the ordinary Court was hell on earth.

I finally made it to my bedroom wanting to relax maybe half an hour, but as soon as my bag touched my bedroom floor I heard a sharp knock on my door. I frowned as I opened it and found a guardian from the Queen's close guard with his black sunglasses standing in front of me, all tall and pretentious.

_Who even wore sunglasses at night? Douchebags! _Well, Pavel except he had his reasons, his eyes could be slightly distracting.

"The Queen is expecting you," he said solemnly.

_Okay Pacino, let's go. _I nodded; it wasn't the time to give attitude to anyone, not when my future was so uncertain. I expected him to take me in the throne room or maybe in a conference room around it, but he actually took me to the Queen's private quarters.

I wanted to ask him why she wanted to see me here, but I knew it would have been pointless as he probably didn't have the answer. Even if he did he wouldn't give it to me anyways.

"Wait here," he ordered after entering the main corridor.

"Sir yes Sir!" I couldn't help to let out with a military salute. I could only contain my attitude to a certain point.

He stiffened, jaw locked, and right now I was pretty pleased that I couldn't see his eyes. He knocked on a massive wooden door and entered the room quietly, closing the door behind him.

He came out about two minutes later, leaving the door open. "You may enter now," he said gesturing me in. As soon as I walked in, he closed the door and stood with his back to it.

"Miss Hathaway, what a pleasure to have you back," said the Queen, with apparent good humor. She gestured me to sit on the love seat across from the high leather armchair on which she was sitting.

I couldn't help but to narrow my eyes slightly in suspicion, I knew better, that woman hated me… I was probably the one person who just the sight of me could get under her skin. I was sure she wanted something from me, but right now I decided to ignore that, I needed her.

"Thank you for accepting to meet me on such short notice," I said ceremonially as I sat on the love seat.

The Queen made a gesture with her hand as it was nonsense to thank her_. The Queen being humble? Wow… she probably wants something big_! "I'm actually curious," she said with a gleam in her eyes. "I've heard you were getting very close to finding Victor, and well, you still had some time before you were due back here. It's pretty strange coming from you isn't it?"

"Yes," I confirmed.

"Then as soon as you landed, my nephew came here and asked me for an audience on your behalf," she crossed her hands elegantly on her lap. "It fuelled my curiosity even more," she smiled. "Why did you come back?"

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

I saw many emotions flicker on her face; the main one was anger, even if she was doing her best to hide it. "Well… how did my nephew take the news?" she asked in a much colder voice.

"Adrian is not the father your Majesty."

Her eyes widened with surprise, but she nodded, "Yes I should have guessed. If it was his child he wouldn't have left you come here alone. But who is the father?"

"Does it really matter?" I asked, still not sure of what my excuse would be.

She shrugged slightly, "Not really but I'm a curious woman."

I sighed, "It was just a mistake, a one night stand at the Moroi graduation. Nobody worth remembering really," I finally said. She already thought I was an easy girl, a whore. It should fit the portrait she had of me.

"I see…" she said. As strange as it was, it seemed that she didn't believe one single word of what I just told her. "Well that's a shame isn't it?" she asked, but her eyes were gleaming with excitation; like she was preparing something, I didn't like it.

"There's a reason for everything I guess," I said trying to sound far more detached than I felt.

"I can't really see what I can do Miss Hathaway. I mean… What did you want to see me for?"

"Well this pregnancy changes a lot of things, at least for a period of time. I don't think I would be an efficient guardian for Li--The Princess while in this condition," I said resting my hand on my stomach. "I will be more of a liability than anything else."

The Queen nodded thoughtfully.

"However, being a guardian is very important to me_._"_ It's the only constant I have in my life, I need that! _

"I appreciate all that," she said now with a much more businesslike voice. "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I was wondering if you could maybe appoint me temporarily as a sedentary guardian here at Court, and assign another guardian to the Princess for a little while," I said with a tone that was very close to begging, and I hated myself for that.

The Queen stayed quiet for a little while. It seemed to be an eternity for me, but I was pretty sure it didn't last more than a minute. Then she nodded slowly. "I think that can be done without any difficulties."

"Thank you," I said exhaling loudly with relief. I hadn't even realized that I had been holding my breath. "Thank you so much," I added sincerely; she was lifting such a heavy weight off of my shoulders.

"It's not any trouble."

"Well…" I stood up slowly, "Thanks again for your time and support your majesty. I'm very grateful, but I won't keep you from your obligations any longer I--"

"Don't you want to have a say in the guardian taking your place?" she asked, ignoring my interruption and the fact that I was now standing in front of her. "I mean…" she shrugged slightly, "he will be replacing you for a temporary period of time, beside your best friend, it seems pretty logical that you have your say in that."

I froze as I looked down at her ask if she had two heads. Her compassion had been strange, but now it was just way too much. _What did she want? My soul??_

"I---" I cleared my throat. "You know I appreciate everything you are doing right? My appreciation is beyond words really."

"I'm sure it is my dear," she said so sweetly it could give me cavities.

"Let's be blunt. What are you expecting out of this?" I asked, knowing she could play the offended card and take it all away.

I was surprised when she laughed lightly. "Not much my dear, really, it's more like a favor for a favor. If ever I need you to put a good word on my behalf… This little collaboration might turn out to be beneficial for the both of us." I frowned; I couldn't see what connections I might have that the Queen wanted so badly.

I stopped dead, my eyes widening with understanding. _She was talking about Abe of course!_ She had been nice to me since she learned that he officially acknowledged my existence, as his only child. "I think you might overestimate the influence I have on my father your Majesty."

"Oh Rose…" she shook her head like what I just said was utterly stupid. "I think you underestimate it greatly, but it would be my mistake right?"

"I guess…" I said warily.

"So… Do we understand each other?" she asked as she leaned back on her chair.

"As long as it doesn't prejudice my family or friends, you have my word that I'll try to support you with my father."

"Fair enough; you may go now," she said way more businesslike than before. She didn't need to keep up her sweet mask anymore. "I'll arrange a list of the finest guardians available by this weekend so you can choose the one you prefer."

"Thank you," I said bowing slightly before I walked back to the door.

I was about to cross the threshold when the Queen spoke again. "By the way Miss Hathaway…"

I turned around, "Yes?"

"I forgot to congratulate you on your pregnancy," she said with a half smile like she was hiding something, but that was crazy. I was the one hiding the reality of the paternity of my child… I was probably making a transfer of some sort.

As I walked back to the dorm, my feelings of lightness started to fade again. I realized that my next step would be to announce to my friends and family that I was pregnant. Tell Lissa that I was actually letting her down, even if it was only temporarily. I was about to tell to my mom that the last thing she wanted for me actually happened. I was a pregnant young adult, her biggest fears now confirmed. Maybe it was true that history always repeats itself.

This was my last night of peace, as the old me. After tomorrow… there would be no turning back.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!!

So here come chapter 6 and i made it EXTRA LONG for you. For the Dimitri's lover out there, you'll find out more in next chapter I promise.

I'm also working on a play list for that story (some of you requested it) but I won't start posting it before a couple of chapters not to spoil the storyline.

I want to take a minute here to thanks all my reviewers, you are really the one hat keep me going. I also want to mention Jess my beta for doing such a fantastic job.

Well don't forget to review and tell me what you think ;-)

_Disclaimer_: I don't own VA or its characters…dang!!

**Chapter 6: **

When I woke up that morning it took me a second to realize what my goal was for today . . . _The Revelation_.

I groaned as I got out of bed. "Who would've thought that doomsday was today?" I asked no one in particular as I tried to find my way to the bathroom. I always had so much energy when I woke up, but recently it was exhausting just to get out of bed. I would have loved to blame it on the pregnancy, but even if I was far from being an expert, I knew that it was way too early to feel this kind of side effects.

No, I knew that the tiredness that I was feeling now was only mental, I had a lot to deal with, and I had no clue how to deal with any of it. Yep, everyday my life found a new way to suck, and boy, it was creative!!

After a long shower I felt a bit more like myself already. Was I ready to face them all and reveal my pregnancy? Of course not, but I found serenity in the fact that it was inevitable. I hoped that my parents would arrive at the latest possible time today, because even if what I had to tell them was inevitable, I could still grab few more hours of normalcy. I couldn't say I was exactly eager to see the deception and anger in my parent's eyes, or the pain and abandonment coming from Lissa.

I took a deep breath and plastered a smile on my face before entering the staff commons of the Court. I knew I could've taken my breakfast with Lissa, but I was already above the rules on so many differently levels. At least I could do one thing like the others, plus it would stop Lissa from trying to find out why I came back, now that her pleasure to have me back has worn off.

"Hathaway . . . Come this—way," Eddie said with a wide grin as he gestured to the empty seat across from him.

I chuckled, shaking my head, "You're a real poet Castille, what a shame to have your talent wasted here."

"Oh well . . ." he shrugged dismissively and took a sip of coffee. "At least I get to enjoy your staggering beauty on a day to day basis."

"You're right," I agreed with a wink while pouring myself a hot cup of black coffee. "It makes it all worthwhile."

We both chuckled. I remembered then how much I liked to be with Eddie, this carefree friendship always felt good and peaceful. I quickly glanced around, it wasn't that I expected Pavel to sit with us or anything; I just wanted to check on him.

"Have you seen Gav this morning?" I asked out of the blue.

He looked at me and frowned. "Gav? I--"

"Pavel," I corrected.

"Oh yeah, he was leaving when I came in. He was going to the tarmac, I think your father is supposed to land soon, but I presume you know that already."

"Of course they're coming now!" I said with a snort. "I mean things weren't screwed up enough! Freaking Karma," I had such a weird laugh that Eddie eyed me warily.

"Are--you alright?" he asked with concern.

"Peachy! I--" I shook my head. "Do you have plans for today?"

"Well not really," he shrugged. "Lissa is on campus, and I haven't started officially yet, so yeah . . . I'm pretty free."

I nodded, "Okay I'm going to text you when I manage to get everyone in the same room. I have an announcement."

"What kind of announcement?" he asked curiously.

"One you don't want to miss," _although I wish I could_. "Well . . ." I looked at my watch before eyeing the plate of donuts with regret; some things were just more important than food. I stood up, grabbed a sugar coated donut and gave Eddie an apologetic glance, "I'm sorry I've got to bail like this."

"You've got to do what you've got to do," he said with a wink. He had a bit of strawberry jam at the corner of his mouth, making him look comical.

I laughed, "Wipe it off Castille," and handed him a paper towel. "I'll see you later."

I took a big bite of my donut as I started in the direction of Lissa's room. I had scanned her mind, she was wide awake and not 'busy', I could go to her.

I took my phone out just to give Pavel a quick call. The plane was landing, so I asked him to bring my parents to Lissa's room as soon as they arrived. _The sooner the better _I admitted to myself before knocking on Lissa's door.

"Told you she would come early!" said Lissa, opening the door with a wide smile. She reached for my hand and pulled me in. "Christian is just finishing in the shower, but I want to know everything about your trip," she said with excitement.

"That's why I'm here," I said evasively. "But let's wait for everyone okay? So I don't have to repeat myself."

"Is it . . . Is it something good?" asked Lissa as she sat in front of me, but I could see that she wasn't smiling anymore. I could also feel her increasing worry through our bond.

"It's not bad," I forced a smile, "it's different really."

"Would you mind giving me a hint?" she asked trying to sound far more detached than she felt.

I looked at her, really thinking about it, but there was a reason why I wanted to wait until everybody was in the same room, it was to tame their reactions.

My mom wouldn't go mental in front of everybody . . . or at least I hoped. And Lissa . . . I would feel her pain and abandonment clear enough, but at least she would restrain from wording it. "Let's keep the surprise, okay?"

"You aren't leaving me are you Rose?" she asked, and I could feel she was almost panicking now.

"No, I'm here to stay," I said truthfully, _even more than she could ever imagine_.

She sighed with clear relief and smiled. "I can wait."

I looked up just to see Christian coming out of the bathroom. "Hey buddy!" I said, thankful for the distraction. "So . . . you're only weeks away from starting school, have you decided on your options yet?"

They both grimaced; apparently I stepped on the wrong subject yet again. "I don't know. Apparently I'm not choosing the right major," he said quickly eyeing Lissa.

"I never said you chose wrong. I just said you need to choose wisely, some subjects that fit your major."

"Here we go again," grumbled Christian sitting heavily beside her.

I looked at them argue gently with some kind of envy. I would love to have these arguments with the man I loved too; the man that at the end of the day, decided to abandon me. I sighed heavily without even realizing it. Both Lissa and Christian looked at me sheepishly.

"Sorry we didn't mean to bore you," Lissa said with a slight blush.

I laughed and shook my head, "It's all good I swear. I'll just remember to keep it shut on that subject from now on."

"Yeah . . ." said Christian grimacing. "At least until the choices are made."

"It's noted," I said with a wink. I took my cell out and texted Eddie to join us in Lissa and Christian's suit since it wouldn't be long now before my parents came over, as I was sure they were at least as intrigued as Lissa was, if not more.

It was less than ten minutes later that Pavel and my parents arrived in the room. We hugged each other, but it didn't matter how hard we tried, it was still very awkward. Lissa hadn't even closed the door when Adrian arrived with Eddie. I didn't think Adrian would want to be around for this announcement. I didn't want to hurt him a second time around and have him look at me when I was about to lie shamelessly.

My father took a seat at the small table, but his keen eyes never left me. I could see he expected something big, very big.

My mother went to stand behind him about three steps further back. It took all of my willpower not to snap at them by saying that they should stop this whole guardian masquerade, that they were not fooling anyone and that everyone knew perfectly well that they were dating.

"So Rose . . . Why did you want us all in the same room?" asked my father solemnly. He was the only one bold enough to ask with everyone else around, but he was Ibrahim Mazur after all. There wasn't much that could impress, scare or even influence a man like him. The Queen was a fool to think that his bastard child could have a hold on him. Well I did warn her it was her mistake.

I looked at each faces before taking a deep breath. _Think band-aid Rose, the faster the better_.

"Well, I guess you all figured out by now that there is a reason behind my returning this early." They all nodded, more or less decisively, except for Adrian who looked down at the floor and Pavel who was discreetly eyeing my father warily. Was he expecting an explosive reaction?

"I'm pregnant" I said fast, holding my breath. I felt a wave of both incredulity and despair coming from Lissa, and decided to avoid her eyes. I looked at my father as he jumped from his seat, jaw locked, fists clenched tightly and throwing a death glare at Adrian. Pavel reacted just in time, and stood in between them.

"Adrian has nothing to do with this," I added quickly as I couldn't believe my father's temper. Without Pavel I was pretty sure that Adrian would've had a broken nose by now.

Now it was a wave of confusion coming from Lissa. She was sure the baby was Adrian's, now she was just lost. My dad looked back at me with shrewd eyes, probably trying to decipher if I was lying. I looked straight into his eyes, hoping he could see the truthfulness of my words.

I saw his fists relax and let out a sigh of relief. "Then who does?" he asked much more coldly, probably angry at me for being an idiot.

I looked away and met my mother's eyes. She didn't look that angry. She looked sad and mostly disappointed, like I was letting her down on some level, which I probably was. Seeing these emotions in her eyes hurt me deep in my flesh, right now I would've preferred for her to be furious; cursing at me. It would have been far better than this quiet desperation. I opened my mouth to talk but closed it again. _What could I even add?_

"Look at me, little girl," said Abe bringing my attention back to him. "I believe I just asked you a question. Who is responsible for this?" he said pointing at my belly.

"I am!" I said standing straight. I may be pregnant, but I was still my smartass self. "Nobody raped me you know. I was fully aware of what I was doing." _Well I never knew I could get pregnant, but it wasn't necessary to specify that._

I saw Abe's jaw muscles bulge. Pavel sent me a wary glance meaning, _'step down with the attitude'_.

"Okay Rose you want to play it like that? Let's be clear. Who is the Moroi who tumbled you?" he asked intentionally crude.

Adrian paled and Pavel winced at the word, but I kept my eyes locked on my father's hard stare. He could maybe impress the crowds, but he couldn't scare me, at least not that much. "It doesn't matter," I said dismissing it with a gesture of the hand.

"It does," he replied stubbornly.

_Who? Rose, tell me please_. I heard Lissa directly in my mind.

I sighed in rendition. "It's a guy that was at school for the Moroi graduation," I said quickly. "You remember I disappeared for about two hours at the party?" I asked looking toward Lissa and Christian, but not really looking at them. After what I saw in my mother's eyes and what I felt coming from Lissa, I was already drained emotionally.

"Well that's where I was . . . with that guy," I said looking toward my father again. Actually I had disappeared to go cry about how much I missed Dimitri.

"That's- That's," started Abe before shaking his head. I guessed he didn't expect that from me . . . well I was sure he wasn't the only one.

I looked up to my mother, and now there was also anger in her eyes. Finally a feeling I recognized in her. "You threw your whole life and career away for one meaningless night?" my mother asked incredulously, her voice shaking with anger.

"No it's--"

"What is it Rose? You said I messed up your life being a guardian, so what? Are you going to go live in some community having babies with random Moroi?! Apparently, you don't seem to have any problems with that!"

"Janine!!" chastised my father coldly to shut her up.

"Rose you promised!" Lissa cried out, on the edge of tears.

"No Lissa I--" I sighed in despair, "I told you I wasn't going anywhere."

"Oh because they use blood whores here on site?" asked my mother sarcastically

"Stop it now!" my father roared so loudly that everybody in the room froze. My mom looked at him with incredulity. I was pretty sure it was the first time he ever raised his voice at her.

"I never thought that could've happened!" I snapped angrily almost immediately regretting it. Both Adrian and Pavel eyed me with caution in their eyes. As for Christian he had a thoughtful look that I hated; he probably understood that there was way more to that statement.

"I talked to the Queen already," I explained looking at Lissa now. "She agreed to appoint me at the Court here temporarily, but I'm still officially assigned to you," I forced a tiny smile. "I told you I'll stay here; I even get to choose my replacement. He'll only guard when you go out Liss, I'm still with you."

I could feel Lissa getting calmer. She was still worried of course, she didn't like the thought of being separated from me, but she knew it was only a few hours per day and not forever.

"I have it all figured out," I said reassuringly. _Almost_ I added to myself.

My mom snorted bringing my attention back to her. "You think you have it all planned right? But you'll see, you'll see once the baby is born. You accused me of screwing you up, and here you are making the same mistakes."

"So I'm a mistake?" I couldn't help to shoot back.

"No Rose I--" she sighed, shaking her head heavily. "I need some air," she said leaving the room stiffly.

"I'll talk to her," Abe mumbled once she left. I could see he still had mixed feelings about the pregnancy, but I guessed that he didn't have much to say. He had been an absentee father for eighteen years, he knew I wouldn't take the whole _'overprotective father' _act very well.

I nodded. "Thank you," I said barely louder than a whisper.

"But we still have some things to discuss," he warned me before departing.

"I figured," I mumbled.

"You better follow them so they don't kill each other," I told Pavel.

He laughed quickly, but nodded. "It wasn't so terrible was it?" he whispered squeezing my shoulder as he walked toward the door.

"Did we just go through the same conversation? Because I'm pretty sure my mother just called me a whore," I said trying to sound teasing.

"Well after what I heard about her, it could've been worse," he said with a smile. "Plus you know she didn't mean it right? She was just shocked and mad."

I nodded, not trusting my voice. "Just go," I whispered.

He kissed my forehead before leaving.

I concentrated my attention on Lissa and Christian again. Eddie was standing behind them, apparently frozen on the spot. _I told him it was news that he wouldn't want to miss. _

Lissa was looking at me with wide eyes. She was a mixed ball of emotions; scared, sad, a little bit angry but she was also excited that a baby was entering our lives. Christian wasn't really looking at me. I could see he was lost in his thoughts as if he was trying to figure something out, like there was some missing piece that he needed to figure out. I hated that look on his face, especially when I was the one under his microscope.

"That went well," I said in a failed attempt to joke as I fell heavily in the love seat.

"Could have been worse," said Adrian finally joining the conversation. I almost forgot he was here. A quiet Adrian was unusual, yet it was his norm since he found out about my pregnancy. He came to sit beside me, and patted my knee.

I gave him a grateful smile. He said he would stand by me no matter what, but I never thought he would keep his word for EVERYTHING.

"Now that the crazy bunch left . . . You're really not the father?" Lissa asked Adrian. She still couldn't believe it wasn't Adrian's. She knew me well, and she couldn't picture me having a one night stand with a perfect stranger.

"Unfortunately yeah . . . I'm positive," he said sounding far less hurt than I knew he really felt. I was grateful for that.

Lissa looked at me. "Wow . . . a baby."

"Yes," I nodded, "I know."

"Are you scared?" she asked with concern.

I could have lied, maybe I should have pretended that I was a tough cookie, but I was fed up with the lies and pretending. I was also fragile, vulnerable.

"A little," I admitted. "That's a first," I smiled.

Lissa nodded. "It will be okay, we'll be here for you," she said as protective feelings increased in her, making me smile wider.

"I know it will be." I said sincerely. I knew that - with all of them by my side - it would be alright.

"I'm going to be an aunt," Lissa said in excitation. She knew I would stay beside her, and it was all that mattered really.

I smiled, feeling free, "you sure are." Some of them took the news badly, some far better than I expected; but at the end of the day, it was out now, and I felt a lot lighter.

"Well I better go and see my mom," I said standing up.

"Maybe you should wait a little while," Eddie grimaced.

I laughed, Eddie never judged and I really loved him for that. "It'll be okay Ed, I promise. She won't calm down before I go and talk to her so . . ." I shrugged the sooner the better.

"Okay but--but you'll come back later, right? We need to discuss when we're going to go shopping for the baby," said Lissa now slightly flush with all the ideas running in her mind.

"You got it," I winked knowing that I would let her do what she wanted. She needed the distraction, and I really didn't mind. "I'll be back soon," I said with a quick wave before exiting the room. I didn't know in which room they were in the guest building, but it wouldn't be a problem I just had to phone Pavel and--

"Rose!" a breathless voice called from behind me, stopping me in my train of thought. I was almost at the guest building now.

"Christian, is there something wrong?" I asked worriedly seeing him flushed.

He shook his head negatively ask he tried to catch his breath.

"So what is it?" I pressed him. I was still high on the announcement endorphins to face my mother, but it wouldn't last. I knew that once they came down I would chicken out the face to face.

"I just wanted to know . . . how it's even possible?" he asked standing straight.

I frowned, confused, "What?"

He took two steps forward to stand very close to me. He leaned down bringing his mouth very close to my ear, "You getting pregnant with Dimitri Belikov's baby."

I took a quick step back as if his words burned me. I looked at him with incredulity how could he figure it out?

"I knew where you were during the graduation Rose. Lissa wasn't going up in the chapel anymore, but I was. I was feeling a bit blue, thinking about how my parents should've been there, and decided to escape for a while into my hidey hole, to think you know. But you can't imagine my surprise when I saw that the place was already occupied. I figured you needed some alone time," he shrugged.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

He smiled, "I didn't want to spoil the day for Lissa, and I didn't want her to worry any more than she already was. As for you, I know how much you hate to expose your weaknesses to the face of the world."

"It's--" _What could I say? He knew I was lying._

"I could've believed it was Adrian's, maybe; but another man? A random guy?" he laughed. "That's impossible, you loved - still love - Belikov too much. I just wondered how it's possible?" he shook his head, "It's insane."

"I don't know," I whispered, "Please . . . Please don't tell anyone. I'm not ready for that yet."

He nodded, "you're my friend Rose, your secret is safe with me, but Lissa will figure it out. If not now, it will be soon. She's still high with the news, but she'll start to think about that eventually."

"I'll deal with that when it comes up," I said sounding far more certain than I felt.

"If you say so," he replied clearly not convinced.

"I'll see you later okay?" I tried checking my watch, not even sure why. "I need to check on my mother before she kills my father for defending me."

Christian smiled, "She's not that scary . . . And they're not fooling anyone."

I laughed too." No they aren't. Well I'll catch you guys for lunch," I said before turning away to go.

I barely made it in the lobby when the elevator doors opened, and my father and Pavel exited. I don't know why I did it, but I hid in the little corner.

"Are you sure you want to do that?" asked Abe. "Not that I will complain or anything, but I know how you feel about the officials."

"I'm sure. I want to stay here beside Rose, and I'm sure she'd feel better if I was the one guarding the Princess," said Pavel gravely.

_He wanted to stay here and be appointed to Lissa, all that just for me? _I felt my heart tighten in my chest. I didn't have Dimitri anymore, but I still had fantastic people around me.

"Rose is not Charity," said my dad calmly.

"I know, it's just--" he sighed heavily. "Rose is important to me. I want to help her out, be sure she's safe."

"I appreciate that you want to keep my little one safe."

"It's not for you."

My father chuckled, "Yeah believe me I know that." They were silent for a couple of seconds.

"If it's what you want, I release you of your obligations toward me for as long as you want."

"Thanks," said Pavel

"It's not for you," my father teased as he repeated Pavel previous words.

I heard the door open and close almost silently, I probably wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for my dhampir hearing. I was about to stand when I heard a pretty loud throat clearing. "You can come out Kazim."

I cursed under my breath and stood with the little dignity I had remaining. "I came to talk with my mom before she bursts a vein," I said loud and clear.

"Yeah maybe now isn't the best time," he said with a small smile. "You know she's not mad."

"Oh really? She pretends very well then; she should totally get an Oscar for that one."

My dad chuckled lightly. "No she's just surprised, but you can't blame her. I mean it's not something anybody could've seen coming."

_Me first, _I thought but kept my mouth shut.

"I know her . . . I know her well. She's not that mad; she's scared for you, scared and worried."

"Why?" I asked puzzled.

"Do you really need to ask?" my father asked with an eyebrow raised. "You're about to become a single mother. You will have to make hard choices, choices you may regret one day or want to take back. Choices you thought were for the best just to have your child reproach them later."

_Take that straight in your face Rose! _I thought pursing my lips. I started to understand now that my mother had made some difficult choices, it was hard to choose something that could both fit your child's best interests and who you were inside.

"And you know it's already hard when the child is a piece of a person you love or once loved, but you . . . You made a mistake" he said wincing.

It was clear that he hated the idea of his daughter having a one-night stand. _Who could blame him?_

"And you will live everyday with your mistake," he smiled sadly. "It's enough to get your parents worried, you know little girl."

"I'll be alright old man, I promise," I assured him as I rested my hand lightly on his arm. Seeing the worry in his eyes made me almost admit that this baby was a piece of the person I loved the most in this world, the man that managed to imprint on my heart and soul. But I knew that if he ever knew Dimitri was the father he would track him down and force him to assume his responsibilities even if I begged him not to.

"You have another choice too you know."

"Another . . . choice?" I questioned my voice getting colder as I went. I hoped he wasn't suggesting what I thought he was. If that was the case, I could never look at him the same way.

"I want you to consider moving with me to Istanbul if things get too hard for you here."

"Sorry, what?" I asked almost falling flat on my butt with surprise.

"If you can't deal with being a guardian and a mother, don't worry. It won't make you weak or less worthy. I--I don't want you to suffer through it," he smiled and took my hand. "You're my child, and I will be happy to have you beside me, somewhere I can keep you safe. They won't judge you there you know."

I smiled, his support meant so much to me, much more than I could ever say. "Thank you, thank you so much," I said nicely, "but I have to do this my way."

"You wouldn't be my kid if you did it any other way," he smiled. "But just remember you've got the option. No questions asked."

I nodded, too emotional to even speak.

"And I can't wait to meet my grandbaby," he winked, "Even if I'm way too young and sexy to be a grandfather."

I laughed and hugged him tight. "Thank you, I needed that." I whispered in his ear.

"Anytime Kazim," he said hugging me back. "Even if I'm far, I'll always be one phone call away. Never forget that." _Maybe the Queen was right after all. Maybe I had more impact on my father than I could comprehend. _

"Now go and meet Pavel. As for your mother, don't worry, I'll deal with her," he said as he let go of me. "Once she's reassured it will be better, trust me."

"Thanks Baba," I said again before kissing him quickly on the cheek. I left the building feeling even lighter than before. From now on Pavel would keep Lissa safe, he would be here when I needed to talk and I knew that my parents wouldn't disavow me.

Not everything was right in my life - pretty freaking far from it - but I had my friends and family, and that was far more than most people had. I just needed to go with the flow now and see what would happen.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N: **Hey Guys!!

Have you seen I've made good on my promise. I said I'll try to update by the week end and here we go!!

I really enjoyed reading your review, you are really putting a smile on my face even when I don't feel like smiling so BIG kudos to you. BIG BIG kudos to Jess too for her fantastic beta work and for patiently putting up with my 'I suck' phases. Thanks girly!

I'll post my play list for this story probably not with next chapter but the one after that.

Well don't forget to review and above all ENJOY!!

Steffy

_Disclaimer: _I don't own VA I just wish I did ;)

**Chapter 7:**

**3 months later:**

I was getting ready for my shift in the Royal quarters tonight. Since the Queen figured that I could _feel_ Strigoi she was mostly keeping me beside her during her official meetings and grievance sessions. It was boring enough, but safe. I couldn't understand why she wanted me here; the chances of a Strigoi getting through the wards and all the security in place to get to her were close to nil. Part of me couldn't shake off the feeling that she was doing so in order to keep an eye on me, but her reasons were obscure.

I sighed, adjusting the elastic waistband of my new pair of uniform pants. The Queen was considerate enough to have a new pair of maternity pants delivered to me even though I hadn't asked for them. My belly was really starting to show now, and even my large shirts weren't really doing their job anymore.

I smiled as I rubbed my hand over my bulging stomach. I had gotten used to the idea that I was about to become a mother, even my mother has come around to the idea now too. My parents were visiting once a month and my mom always insisted to see the ultrasounds and everything. I could see in her eyes that she was still worried about me, but she didn't voice her fears and I really appreciated that.

As for Lissa, she was getting more and more excited as my belly grew bigger. She couldn't wait to find out the sex of the baby. Some days she was so excited that I joked, asking her if she was the pregnant one.

I would be lying if I said that I wasn't still terrified to be a mother; or hurt deep in my soul to realize that Dimitri - the supposed love of my life - forgot about me. I had given up on him ever coming back to me; he left me almost five months ago. I had to resign myself that I wouldn't be with him ever again - and it hurt like hell - but the baby helped to tame that pain. It was a proof that, once upon a time, Dimitri had been mine.

My stomach growled loudly. "Hungry baby?" I asked with a low chuckle, adjusting my shirt to hide my stomach as much as possible.

It wasn't that I was ashamed about being pregnant - by now I had learned to assume my choices - it was just that I didn't want my pregnant status being the first thing people saw. I was also scared that it would, to some level, lessen my authority and guardian status.

"Let's go to the kitchen, I'm pretty sure we can find something satisfying," I continued as I reached for my jacket.

I was barely out of the building when I saw guardian Miller walking briskly toward me. "Guardian Hathaway," he said in his, now familiar, ominous tone.

"Pacino," I replied with a sharp nod. He was the guardian who took me to the Queen the day I announced to her that I was pregnant. Since then we worked as a team when I accompanied the Queen to official functions, but we couldn't say we became friends or even colleagues. He didn't talk to me unless he had a message from the Queen.

I saw his jaw muscles quiver. He hated when I called him Pacino which, of course, pushed me to do it even more. "The Queen is waiting for you."

"I don't think so," I said crossing my arms on my chest. "I still have an hour before the start of my shift. See, the sun is barely up. She's not supposed to sleep?"

I was doing a _'night' _shift which was always the case the day preceding a grievance meeting. Guardians were supposed to do at least one 'night' schedule per week, but as far as I was concerned she only made me do that once a month. I wondered what kind of contacts or power my dad had that she wanted that bad?

"She has something to tell you. Follow me now," he instructed and then turned around without checking if I was following him. What I wouldn't give to kick his butt, but truth be told, in my state, I wasn't sure I would be very impressive.

He didn't make me wait this time as we made it to the Queen's Quarters. He simply knocked and let me in as soon as the Queen told us to enter.

She was sitting behind her desk writing something on a piece of paper. "Oh Rose I'm glad you made it so fast," she said with a sweet smile, too sweet to make me comfortable.

"What can I do for you?" I asked formally.

"Well it's more what I can do for you Rose," she gestured for me to take a seat in front of her. As soon as I sat down, the Queen slid a piece of paper toward me.

I took it and frowned in confusion. There was an address in Soho, with a name, Dr. Louisa Jenkins. "I don't understand," I said with a slight shrug.

"This woman is one of the best Obstetricians in the country. It took me a lot of convincing and favors because she isn't taking new patients." The Queen smiled proudly, "She has one of the longest waiting lists possible; women make appointments with her before they even get pregnant."

"I . . . Okay," I was still confused.

"I'm not saying that that doctors here aren't efficient or anything, but," she shrugged slightly, "you're probably around five months pregnant, right?"

"More or less," I said evasively. I was exactly twenty-one weeks pregnant, but if she knew that it would completely mess up my previous story.

"Don't you want to know the sex of your baby? Take all the tests to make sure everything is really going smoothly? Don't you want what's best out there?"

"Of course I do!" I exclaimed, almost offended.

"The machinery here isn't that new, she has everything state of the art there. Plus," she took off her glasses, "I wouldn't want your father to say I'm not taking care of you." I forced a smile. I couldn't shake the feeling that there was more under her sweetness than my father, but I just couldn't think of what it might be.

"When can she see me?" I asked. To be honest, right now, her motives didn't matter. I was dying to find out the sex of the baby, and if that doctor could make sure the baby was normal it was good by me. This pregnancy itself was pretty unique and I wanted to make sure the baby was alright. "And she is . . . aware of what we are?"

"She is a dhampir too Rose, she knows perfectly what we are. As for when she can see you, today and today only."

"I . . . But I'm supposed to work."

"No nonsense," she dismissed this idea with a gesture of the hand. "That's why I wanted to see you before I went to bed. You better take a car and go now. You're only about ninety minutes away from Soho."

"I know, but what about Vasilisa?" I asked. Lissa had come with me to every appointment of my pregnancy, and having her beside me always made me better. But I knew she would be leaving for school with Christian and Pavel soon, and I couldn't stop her from going, she had a presentation to do today.

"What about her?"

"I . . . Nothing," I said defeated.

"Do you think she would want you to miss such a fantastic opportunity just because she can't go with you?"

I shook my head. I was just braver when I wasn't alone, and I was scared to go see that doctor. What if something was wrong with the baby? I would have to deal with that on my own. _You can do it rose. Many single moms have done it before you._

"Miss Hathaway? Are you still with me?" asked the Queen, bringing me back to reality.

"I- Yes!" I said almost jumping off my seat. "Thank you so much for the opportunity. I'll go change and leave right away."

"Very well; there will be a car ready for you, just ask the guards at the Main entrance."

"Thank you," I said not really sure what I was thankful for.

"You're very welcome Rose," she stood up gracefully. "Have a nice day," she added clearly dismissing me.

As I left the building, I decided to make a little detour by the kitchens just to grab something to eat before my trip to New York. "Adrian?" I asked, surprised to find him roaming in the back part of the Main building.

He looked just as surprised to find me here, "Rose? What are you doing up this late?" he asked.

"I could ask you the same question," I smiled.

He pointed to the feeder room. "I came for a late night snack," he winked, "How is Baby doing?"

I rubbed my belly, "Let me get back to you one that."

He frowned in confusion.

"Your aunt managed to get me an appointment with one of the top Obstetricians in the country, but she can only see me today. So after I grab something to eat, I'll be on my way to Soho."

"Lissa is coming with you?" he asked leaning against the wall.

I shook my head. "Nah she has an important presentation today that I know she can't miss, and telling her about the appointment will worry her unnecessarily. It's not like she can do anything now, it's way too short notice."

"How convenient," he mumbled.

"What?"

"No, nothing," he said shaking his head. "So who's going with you?"

"Me, myself and I, who else?" I asked, pleased of my detached tone.

"You're going to see that doctor all by yourself?" he asked incredulous, and somehow offended by the idea.

"I--"

"Let me come with you," he said interrupting me.

I looked at him with my mouth wide open. I knew it would hurt him to see the baby growing inside me, knowing it wasn't his. Of course I would love his company, but I didn't want to make him suffer. He has already suffered enough because of me; I really didn't want to cause him any more pain. "It's very nice of you Adrian but--"

"No Rose. I know I haven't been very present these last couple of months, but I had things to deal with . . . Some things to organize," he said evasively. "But I'm here now, and I want to make sure everything is going smoothly. Please Rose . . . let me do that."

I looked into his deep, green eyes and I could see he was being truthful; that he wanted to be there for me probably as much as I needed him to. I nodded in rendition. "Let me just grab something to eat, jump in my sweats and I'll meet you by the main entrance in about thirty minutes."

"Yeah that gives me time to go to the feeders," he said, apparently very pleased to come with me.

I changed into my overused sweatpants because, once more, I couldn't fit in the two pairs of jeans that I bought just last month. How fat could I get in just a month? I decided to go buy some clothes while we were in Manhattan.

Money wasn't a problem anymore, for me anyways. As much as I tried to refuse, my dad opened an account for me with an indecent amount of money in it. I needed to buy some more practical clothes. I needed to stop buying the nice stuff for a while, and start to look at maternity clothes.

When I came down, Adrian was already waiting for me, the car keys in the hand. "Don't you look dashing," he said teasing.

"I know right . . ." I said snatching the keys from his hand. "I'm driving."

"You're the one controlled by the crazy hormones; I wouldn't go against your wishes. I value my life far too much."

"Smart boy," I said with a wink.

The drive went very well as the roads were pretty empty. We even made it to the doctor's office before it was open.

"Want something?" asked Adrian as I was sitting on the stairs in front of the townhouse that was the office.

I looked left and noticed a Starbucks. "Oooo," I said eyes wide.

Adrian chuckled, "What can I get the pregnant woman?"

"A hot chocolate with a strawberry donut please," I said with a wide smile. I was so glad that he wanted to join me; it was much easier with him here.

As soon as he entered the Starbucks a woman's voice startled me. "You're probably Rose," she said with a nice clear voice. I turned my head to see a pretty woman probably in her late thirties, a bit plump but just looking at her soothed me.

"Yes I--" I stood up, "Sorry I'm so early."

She smiled even wider, "It's all good. I always come early to finish my paperwork. So actually, I'm rather pleased that you're early."

"Thank you for accepting to check on me I---really appreciate it."

"Don't mention it," she said gently patting my arm. "Tatiana knows how to be persuasive. And I have to say my dhampir clientele is pretty limited, it's a nice change." She gestured toward the stairs, "shall we?"

"Umm in a minute," I pointed to the Starbucks, "My friend is in there."

"Oh right," she looked toward the shop just as Adrian exited it briskly.

"Sorry I was--"

"Satisfying the pregnant woman's craving," Doctor Jenkins said with a low chuckle.

"I guess I was," he said handing me the hot chocolate and donut.

"And you are?" she tried.

I don't know what on earth got into me - maybe I was just scared that she would judge - honestly I could figure a thousand excuses, but at that moment I didn't think about anything. I said, "He's the father."

Adrian froze for a second before he nodded and brought his hand to my bulging belly. "Yeah I'm the baby's father."

She smiled at us, "You make such a cute couple."

I saw the pain in Adrian's eyes and hated myself for what I just said. She took the lead up the stairs.

_Why? _Adrian mouthed me.

I shrugged. _I don't know sorry, _I mouthed back.

He quickly kissed my forehead. "It's all good," he whispered as we stepped into her office.

"Okay, I'm going to do a general exam as well as an ultrasound," she smiled as we sat down. "How far along are you?"

"Twenty-one weeks," I answered as Adrian reached for my hand.

"Do you want to know the sex of your baby?" she asked eyeing us both. "I mean if we're lucky enough, and the baby isn't shy, we might be able to see now."

"We want to know," I said in a rush.

"Okay follow me." She brought me to a small room and handed me a hospital gown.

"I . . . don't understand."

"I want to do a full exam."

"A full---Ooooh, I see," I laughed uncomfortably.

"Don't worry; your boyfriend won't see anything. I know it's uncomfortable to be in his position."

I smiled gratefully. Adrian very gallantly turned around when I came back in the room and settled uncomfortably in the _'torture' _chair, with my feet on the stirrups.

Now it was official, it was the most embarrassing position in the history of the world. Even if the doctor put a sheet to cover everything, it was still uncomfortable to share that with a male friend.

"We're set," she told Adrian.

He turned around, but kept his eyes locked on my face, even if there was nothing to be seen. He took a seat on the stool beside my head and smiled tenderly. "It'll go fast," he said reassuringly. I knew he had no idea what he was talking about, but I appreciated it nevertheless.

It was cold, impersonal and very uncomfortable, but I kept thinking about how I was about to find out the sex of the baby. That would make it even more real.

"Okay everything seems fine here," she said, with a smile, as she stood. She draped the sheet over my lower portion, helped me to get my legs off the stirrups, rolled the big ultrasound machine toward me and carefully opened my gown to bare my stomach.

"It will be a bit cold," she warned right before applying the gel on my belly. She started the ultrasound, and as every other time, seeing the little baby on screen took my breath away. She turned on the sound so I could hear its heartbeat.

"The heartbeat is steady and strong, it's a very good thing . . . You've got a strong baby in there," she added appreciatively.

Adrian reached for my hand and held it tight in his, his eyes glued on the screen.

"This heartbeat, it's the most beautiful sound in my world," I said truthfully.

The doctor nodded while moving the ultrasound. "You're twenty-one weeks pregnant right?"

"Yes why? Is something wrong??" I asked as my worry increased. Adrian stroked my hair in a soothing gesture.

"No, nothing is wrong. He's a big baby that's all. It's good Rose, it's very good. It means that you nourish him well, and his dad is pretty tall," she said eyeing Adrian quickly.

If she thought that Adrian was tall with his 6'3" what would she think if she knew that the actual father was 6'7" and-- "Wait you said _'him'_?" I tried.

She smiled. "Yes I did. It's pretty clear," she pointed to something on the screen. "There is no doubt you're going to have a boy."

That's when I started to see everything blur, and it took me a couple of seconds to understand that my eyes were full of tears. A little boy . . . A little Dimitri was growing inside of me. "A boy . . . A little boy," I said out loud.

Adrian smiled and gently wiped my tears with his thumb. "I guess this means you're happy." I simply smiled and nodded like an idiot.

After that she printed some pictures and I got dressed. She was pretty happy with the overall exam; she just found my blood pressure slightly high and asked me to take it easy.

I was still in a daze when we went to the big department store that was full of maternity clothes. I bought three pairs of pants, two dresses, a couple of tops, some pajamas and other little things. I was so happy that I even let Adrian drive back to Court.

"So now that you know it's a boy, have you picked a name?" he asked curiously.

"Actually I had a name before finding out the sex; it would've been the same if it was a boy or a girl."

"Oh really? Would you mind sharing?"

"Gabriel," I said proudly. I could already see him, my little boy; fierce like his father, stubborn like his mother.

"Gabriel?" asked Adrian apparently surprised. He probably expected me to call him Dimitri or maybe Sergei which was Dimitri's middle name. "Why Gabriel?"

"Because he is my angel, a little miracle," I said like it was evident.

Adrian nodded. "The Angel Gabriel . . . You know what, I think you actually picked out the perfect name," he conceded pleasantly. "Gabriel sure will be one of a kind."

"He sure will be," I confirmed, and it was true in so many levels.

"I hope you're not working today. You heard the doctor, you have to take it slow," he reminded me with concern.

I smiled and shook my head. I was tough, brave and independent, but it felt so good to have people who cared about me that much. It wasn't wrong to want to lean on people every once in a while.

"No I'm not working before tomorrow morning for the grievance meeting. I'll take a small nap when we get back. "

We made it back to Court in the middle of the afternoon in the human world, which meant that Court would be starting to move around soon. It also meant that Lissa, Christian and Pavel would be back soon too.

Before reaching Court, I called my parents to announce the news that I was having a boy. My father was completely ecstatic and kept repeating_, "I'm going to have a grandson! I'm going to have a grandson_!" It probably had something to do with some male pride I really didn't get.

Lissa was a bit disappointed to have missed the appointment, but as soon as she found out the sex of the baby the disappointment faded. She ran around with her catalogues showing me cribs, clothes and everything else she already catalogued. Her organization skills could be rather scary.

* * *

My Grievance shift, the next day, went pretty smoothly as I kept imagining my baby boy. I could see him looking as intense as Dimitri in his childhood pictures.

A hard nudge brought me back to reality. "You can go now and stop pretending to work," said Guardian Miller sharply.

I looked around and the room was empty now. "Okay, Pacino I'll see you later," I said turning around to leave.

"Miss Hathaway could you stay a couple of minutes please?" the Queen asked from her throne. I approached the throne and bowed slightly.

"I just needed to inform you that we will be going to Geneva in a couple of days," she said formally.

"I-- Not that I'm trying to discuss your decisions," _Like hell I'm not! _"But I won't be an effective guardian in the field, and my stomach is starting to restrict my moves too."

She laughed, "No Rose I don't need you as a guardian, I need you as a witness."

"A witness?" I asked, frowning with confusion.

"We may be a Monarchy Rose, but it's not a Totalitarian State. I still have to justify my actions to the High Council, at least when questions are raised, and the disappearance of Victor Dashkov raised a lot of questions." Here we were again; the guilt linked to his escape was back.

"The report has been sent to the Council, and they have questions for those concerned. I managed to organize that meeting while Vasilisa was off for the week so it wouldn't interfere in her schedule, but that's the most I can do." She crossed her hands on her lap, "You won't be a witness per say - as you didn't take part at the writing of the report - but your name is mentioned everywhere, Rose, and they may have some questions."

I nodded wearily. I really didn't feel like reliving the whole experience.

"You won't have much to say, and even if your pregnancy is pretty visible now, you should make it even more obvious by wearing something pretty- ummm- fitting."

"How can making my pregnancy obvious help us?" I asked with suspicion.

"Well men are mostly reluctant to harass pregnant women, and I guess that if they had hard questions they would more or less restrain themselves."

"Ooohh," _yeah that made sense. _I thought about the red top I bought, it molded to my stomach, "Yeah I have what we need."

"Good, good. I knew you would be cooperative. Well I'll see you at the Council meeting then. Since you aren't going as a guardian you won't travel with me."

"Of course; thank you. I'll see you there."

I thought Lissa would have freaked out about having to answer questions about the report, but she was rather excited to go to Geneva. She kept talking about how awesome the baby clothes were there.

She was so excited; it seemed like she was the pregnant one. I was pleased that she was overwhelmed by positive emotions and thoughts, because I didn't want to take in her darkness, I didn't know the effects it could have on my baby.

* * *

For once the Queen didn't lie. The meeting with the Council went smoothly; their questions were pretty easy and straightforward.

Sydney texted me to say that she had been called up by the Council to witness too; she would be there the next day and I was rather excited to see her. I missed my crazy, bigoted friend.

The Queen made me sit in the first row so the Council members had a direct view of my belly. If they had hard questions, they didn't ask any of them. In fact, they didn't even call on me once; which was actually pretty strange. Maybe the Queen was right about that too, the pregnancy card gave me some kind of immunity from interrogation.

I rubbed my belly idly and a small smile spread across my face. _Thanks my angel, you're helping me and you're not even born yet. _

"So I presume we're done for the day. After the testimonies of Lord Adrian Ivashkov and Princess Vasilisa Dragomir, we can--"

The Queen stood up, bringing the attention of the three old men of the council to her. "If you don't see an objection, there is one witness who isn't on the list, but he is waiting in the other room."

"If your Majesty thinks this witness is essential for the accreditation of the report," the central member spoke, "we will grant audition now."

The Queen smiled and looked at me with a wicked light in her eyes. She gestured Miller who was stationed just beside a small wooden door. He opened it, and as soon as the witness entered the room my breath caught in my throat with a loud gasp.

The deep brown eyes, the long hair brushing the shoulders; there was no doubt it was him, my Dimitri. He was standing in front of us with his eyes locked on my bulging belly, a peculiar look on his face.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

I think I have the MOST awesome readers on the planet!! Thank you SO SO SO SO SO much for reviewing. I mean 83 reviews for one chapter?! I would totally hug you ;D

Anyways here chapter 8, see I'm not that evil, I didn't make you wait long.

I'll post the play list along with chapter 9 (which is an extralong chapter).

I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. Thanks to Jess for going over this chapter.

Don't forget to review I LOVE reading you.

Steffy,

**Chapter 8:**

I couldn't believe that Dimitri was standing before me. I had given up on seeing him again, and here he was. His eyes were glued on my bulging stomach, his jaw was locked, his lips pursed and his dark brown eyes were so dark they looked black. Yeah when Dimitri looked like that it meant there would be hell to pay.

He walked to the witness stand, keeping his eyes locked on my belly as if he had some sort of x-ray vision. _What did he expect to see? A baby seal?_

I was beginning to have some trouble breathing. All of the pain that I had tried to hide for the past five months was resurfacing, and it hurt like hell.

We studied a Rose Kennedy quote a while back in school, _"It has been said that, 'time heals all wounds'. I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone._" I only understood now what that quote really meant.

I knew I still missed him, but seeing him take the stand reopened those wounds. It felt just like that horrible day, when I saw him leave through the gate of St Vladimir's without a look back.

I tried to look away and concentrate my attention on Pavel, who was against the wall with the other guardians on duty. I could see how tense he was since Dimitri came into the room, his eyes were locked on him.

I loved that Pavel showed a brotherly protection of me. I knew that he would stand by me and support my decisions with this baby. That was the best part of sharing this kind of love. It wasn't a romantic love, but it was intense nevertheless. Before I was close to Pavel, I used to envy people who had big brothers. But seeing him now - staring down Dimitri - I could see that I had one after all.

I didn't even hear Dimitri's testimony as there were buzzing sounds in my ears, probably due to the shock. I was fully aware that he was eying me every two seconds.

The Queen was looking at us with amusement and an evil smile on her face. I didn't know what she was trying to accomplish here, but I will confront her about that later.

I quickly glanced at Adrian who was a lot paler than usual. I guessed that being in the same room than Dimitri helped to _'feel' _him.

'_Mad?' _I mouthed.

Adrian nodded.

'_Why?' _I mouthed again.

Adrian's eyes went down to my belly, and he discreetly jerked his head.

I snorted loudly, attracting the attention of my other friends. _How dare he be mad about me being pregnant? He asked me to move on, and I did . . . in appearance. He had no right to be offended by that. _

Once the testimony was over, Dimitri exited the room, but I wasn't stupid. I knew he would be waiting for me on the other side of that big wooden door.

The session was dismissed quickly, the members probably never expected Dimitri to come and witness. To be honest, I didn't even know how the Queen managed that.

Nobody had time to talk to me before Lissa, totally flushed, grabbed my arm. "Did you know he was coming?"

"Yeah my reaction was clearly the one of someone who knew," I snapped. "I'm sorry," I said when I felt her hurt. "I didn't mean that."

Lissa nodded, but stayed silent. I hurt her, even if she understood that my hormones and shock were mostly to blame.

"Don't worry. He won't talk to you if you don't want him to," said Pavel standing close beside me.

"I could still set his ass on fire if it can help," Christian offered with a slight shrug, making me laugh. _That was my fire boy, able to make me laugh even when I thought it was utterly impossible._

"Vasilisa please don't forget you need to sign your statement," said the Queen very solemnly from where she was standing at the side of the Council members. "The same goes for you Adrian," she added with a warning clear in her voice.

If I didn't know any better I would've thought that she organized the testimonies that way so I would be alone . . . She wouldn't be that evil would she? Oh who I was kidding?! She may have pretended to be understanding recently, but she still was the Queen bitch she has always been. I just forgot it for a while.

I tried to put on a reassuring smile. "It'll be alright. He just wants to talk," I said dismissively. For once I regretted that my overprotective father wasn't here yet. He was coming tomorrow to make me visit the Swiss countryside with him and my mother. It would be the first real family day in my life. It was probably the hormones eating up my brains, but thinking about that almost made me cry. _Stupid pregnancy!_

Lissa nodded and Pavel followed her reluctantly, he had no choice unfortunately.

"You may stay too if you want Mister Ozera," added the Queen without even looking at him. She was looking at me with satisfaction.

Christian's eyes went from Lissa to me like he was trying to decide what to do. "Stay with her," I whispered to him. "She's with the evil." Christian squeezed my hand with a grateful light in his eyes.

"You don't want to see him?" asked Adrian quickly.

"Not yet, I'm not ready," I admitted sheepishly.

Adrian nodded. "Take the back door," he said jerking his head to my left. "Take the second door on your left; you'll find a classroom," he explained in a hurry. The Queen cleared her throat loudly with impatience.

I frowned with confusion.

"There's a set of stairs in that room, go down and follow the corridor. There will be another set of stairs at the end, go up and you'll be on the main level again, on the other side of the building near the main door."

"Thanks," I said gratefully.

"Anytime," he winked before joining the little group.

I took a deep breath, rubbed my belly and exited the room by the back door, head high. I didn't want to show the Queen she had shaken me.

I had missed him for so long. I wanted to see him so badly that now I didn't know what to do or say. It wasn't like he came here for me anyways. His duty brought him here; his stupid sense of honor was much more present than his 'love' for me.

I still had some trouble catching my breath. I knew that my sudden surprise and stress had some negative effects on Gabriel because - as crazy as it seemed - I could feel that he was restless.

"It's okay baby. Mommy will be calm again in no time," I whispered as I entered the classroom that Adrian had directed me to.

"You know, if I didn't know any better . . . I would've thought that you were trying to avoid me," said Dimitri from behind me, making me jump with surprise.

I instinctively rested my hands on my belly. "How--"

"How did I know I'd find you here?" he asked rhetorically. "I know the Council settings very well Rose. Don't forget that I've been a guardian in Europe for some time. I even had some classes here. As for you?" he laughed sadly. "I know you well enough to figure that you would avoid the confrontation."

I simply looked at him, lips pursed.

"I guess that congratulations are in order," he said jerking his head toward my stomach. "How far along are you?" he asked as his eyes locked with mine.

Looking into his eyes had the effect of a stabbing wound straight to my heart.

"Three months," I said without thinking.

He laughed, but I saw deception and a little bit of anger in his eyes. "Wrong answer, try again."

"How would you know anyways? It's not like you've been pregnant before."

"No, but I have sisters. And I was still at home during Karolina's first pregnancy," he sighed heavily, running his hand through his hair.

I shrugged.

"Who's the father?"

"A guy I met at the Moroi graduation."

"Stop lying to me Rose, it's annoying. Don't make me do something I really don't want to do. Who is the father?"

"Adrian," I said trying to hold his gaze.

"Rose . . ." he said with a sigh. "You're a terrible liar, and well, he didn't have time to get his wall up before I entered the room. I guess he wasn't expecting me either," he shook his head. "If he had his wish and got you pregnant, I would've felt an indestructible joy coming from him. Maybe even gotten some flashes of the conception, but I didn't feel anything like that. He was worried about you, wondering how you'll get out of that."

I could see right then that he knew. He knew all along, since he entered the room, that it was his child. That was why he looked so angry. Maybe he was just mad that I kept him.

My heart began to race. "Why don't you tell me Comrade? I'm sure you already have the answer to that."

"I want you to tell me," he said crossing his arms on his chest. "Who is the father of your child Rose?"

"You are," I said, and I was able to feel the light compelling coming from him. I sometimes forgot that he was part Strigoi, and that he could compel people better than any Spirit user.

"How is that even possible? It's . . . why didn't you tell me?" he asked in an offended tone.

"What?!" I asked getting madder by the second. It took all of my will power to not slap him on the spot. "Please tell me you aren't reproaching me that! I . . . it's unbelievable!!"

"It _is_ important Rose! It's my child and it's you! You're pregnant with my child! I--"

"Yeah, you're right! I mean what are my excuses really, huh?" I asked my voice dripping with sarcasm and anger. "I should've told you during one of your phone calls or when I answered one of you letters, emails or texts. Oh wait!" I tapped my forefinger on my chin pretending to think. "YOU NEVER DID ONE OF THESE THINGS! You forgot I even existed!"

By the end of my tirade my throat was burning. I winced as I felt a sharp pain in my belly, but it faded almost as fast as it came. _It's okay baby, Mommy won't shout anymore. _I rested my hand on the left side of my belly.

"Rose," he reached for my arm.

I took a step back. "I'm fine, I don't need you."

"But I need you," he said sadly standing only a couple of steps away from me.

I could smell his intoxicating scent, the one I had been addicted too. He was standing here all glorious with his faded pair of blue jeans and long sleeved white t-shirt. He was a bit thinner than in my memories, and he looked tired; but still as lethal as ever as I could see the design of his lean muscles under his shirt.

"You don't need me . . . you're just saying that because of the pregnancy. I--"

"I came here for you," he said intensely. "Some of the Queen's emissaries found me in Siberia. They told me that I needed to come to Geneva; that you were suspected of treason. They told me I needed to help you. Only _**YOU**_ could make me come back."

"I was never in danger," I said slightly impressed by the Queen's all new level of conniving bitchery.

"I know that now, but it hurt me to come back because I knew that when I did . . . I wouldn't be able to leave again."

I snorted. "Please! I--"

"No you don't understand Rose. I went away, and I hunted. I spent my days and nights in the hunt, thinking that killing as many Strigoi as I could, using my new abilities, would help me gain redemption. And believe me I killed many. I have all of their strengths but none of their weaknesses."

"Yeah like Blade," I blurted out.

"Who?"

"Never mind."

"But my last thought when I was falling asleep was you. It was your face I saw every morning when I was opening my eyes. I thought I could gain my redemption like that, but my redemption, my peace . . . I can only find it beside you. I came back for you. I love you Rose. I always have, and I always will."

I laughed and it sounded more like a sad, broken laugh than anything else, even to my own ears. I wanted to tell him that I always knew that I could help him heal, that I told him not to leave me, that I _BEGGED_ him to let me help him, but that he turned his back on me nevertheless.

"Don't even try to make me bel--" I couldn't finish my sentence as the sharp pain was back. I grabbed the side of a nearby desk.

"Rose?" tried Dimitri with clear worry in his voice, but I couldn't answer. The pain had taken my breath away.

Another stabbing pain shot through my side, making me fold in two. I felt something wet between my legs, I felt my pants and they were pretty wet.

"Rose!" Dimitri pleaded; his voice was thick with panic. He gripped my shoulders to help me stay up, "What's wrong? Please Rose talk to me."

_Did my water just brake? It was too early; I was only 22 weeks pregnant, I couldn't give birth now!! _I raised my hand and looked with horror as I saw that my fingers were coated with blood. It was worse than I thought. That's when my knees gave up from under me and everything went black.

I felt Dimitri lifting me in his arms as if I didn't weight more than a feather.

"Somebody help me!!" he roared and I felt we were moving, probably running up some stairs. "Rose . . . Rose say something. Open your eyes, baby please. Rose stay with me I need you."

I couldn't talk_. Gabriel, please Gabriel. Save Gabriel._

"Ivashkov! Ivashkov where are you?!" he shouted so loud that it hurt my ears.

"Rose," I heard Adrian.

"Please you have to heal her."

Adrian stopped talking for a couple of seconds, as I was still in Dimitri's arms. "It's not working!" he said panicking.

Dimitri made a weird noise that sounded like a roar.

"Come on let's find Lissa!" Adrian said with urgency.

I could feel that we were running now.

"Who's Gabriel?" asked Dimitri not even breathless as he was running.

Adrian, on the other hand, was completely breathless as he asked, "What?"

"Gabriel, she kept whispering that name."

Adrian stayed silent for a second.

"Gabriel . . . Gabriel is your son," he said coldly. That was the last thing I heard before sinking into unconsciousness.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N**: HEY guys!!

As promised I updated early since you are just purely AWESOME!! I can't even believe the number of reviews I'm getting. And see I decided to be nice…no cliffhanger in this chapter. See I'm not always evil!!

Ok I'm posting parts of the **play list **for the story, I'll continue to update it as the story goes since posting it all at once will give WAY too much away. Go check the songs I posted so far and tell me what you think.

Okay last, but not least, I want to thank and virtually hug all my badass reviewers that make me smile, you are motivating me so much!!. Also big bear hug for Jessica my beta who is really awesome and enthusiastic, which really motivate me too.

Well enjoy and don't forget to review.

Take care, Steffy xoxo

_Disclaimer: _I don't know VA or its characters.

**Chapter 9:**

I woke up to a strange odor of rubbing alcohol. I wrinkled my nose without opening my eyes. _The cleaning products they used here at the Council seriously smelled like sickness!_ I finally opened my eyes and looked around; all that I noticed were white walls and furniture. I frowned, not remembering where I was. I felt like I was in the fog, like I had been drugged or something.

I looked to my left and found Dimitri asleep in a chair. _What was he doing here?_ I was having trouble keeping my eyes open, it was like my body was begging me to go back to sleep. Here I was dreaming again, except he wasn't as sexy as he was usually in my dreams.

The way he was sitting was probably very uncomfortable. I could see that he hadn't shaved for at least a couple of days. I couldn't remember how long it had been since I saw Dimitri unshaven, but I was pretty sure it never happened. I looked at the book lying flat on his knees, expecting a western novel, but it was my book on pregnancy.

_Pregnancy? _I opened my eyes wide as my last moments came back to my mind. My fingers coated with blood. I could hear the heart monitor increase alarmingly as my memories rushed back.

"Gabriel!" I shouted, wincing as I pulled on my perfusion. I tried to rip it off, but Dimitri and his Strigoi speed stopped me.

"Rose . . . Rose calm down. It's okay," he kept a tight hold on my hands. "Gabriel is fine. Our son is fine," his eyes locked with mine, probably to show me he was telling the truth. "See . . ." he said taking my hand and resting it on my belly, "he's still here safe"

I let out a sob, "I was so scared. I thought . . . I thought I lost him." Silent tears were falling freely down my cheeks.

"I was scared too," he explained as he gently wiped my tears with his thumb. "I couldn't bear the thought of losing you both."

That had the effect of a bucket of water being thrown on me. _How did he dare be scared of loosing Gabriel? He wasn't around! He never heard his heart beat! He didn't see him growing inside me! _

I turned my head briskly as he reached to remove a strand of hair from my face. I heard him take a shaky breath as if he had just been punched. "Rose, please don't push me away," he said barely louder than a whisper, but he didn't try to touch me again.

"How long have I been here?" I asked keeping my eyes locked on the heart monitor that was going faster than mine. I rested my hand on my belly and closed my eyes. _Thank you. You're still here. _I didn't know what I would have done without Gabriel. I might have never planned to become a mother, but I had grown to love him; and now I could honestly say that Gabriel had become my whole life.

"You've been here for three days Rose," he said soothingly. "I--

"Where are my parents? Lissa? Adrian?" I cut him off, but remained looking away.

Dimitri let out a weary sigh, "Lissa, Christian and the guardians had to go back to Court. Apparently they have exams starting today."

I nodded silently.

"As for your parents they're here in Geneva. They left the hospital maybe two hours ago, they really needed sleep."

"And you don't?" I asked finally turning to look at him. He was sitting on a small plastic chair beside my bed. His clothes were wrinkled, his beard . . . All of these were clues that he had probably been here the whole three days.

"I do, but I told you already, I need you more," he explained somberly, meeting my eyes. "I couldn't leave your side." The way he said the last part made it sound like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I snorted, "Yeah like it stopped you before."

I saw pure guilt and pain cross his face. "Roza I told y--"

"Don't call me that anymore," I shook my head wearily. "Let's not go there. Not today."

Dimitri stayed silent for so long that I thought I was about to fall asleep again. I may have been out for three days, but I felt exhausted just the same.

"Fine . . ." he finally let out with a sigh of rendition.

I continued to look at Gabriel's heart monitor. Seeing it go smoothly and steadily made me feel better.

"Why Gabriel?" he asked.

I frowned, looking at him. "I don't understand the question."

"Why did you choose to call him Gabriel?"

"Why not?" I shrugged slightly, but my muscles were stiff.

"I like it," he nodded approvingly.

"Oh thank God! I couldn't sleep wondering if you would agree with the name," I said with heavy sarcasm. "Thank you so much Comrade for approving it."

Dimitri pursed his lips and looked at the monitor. "You know Rose there is a fine line between being sarcastic and being simply cruel, and you are walking on it."

"Who said I wanted to be sarcastic?" I asked him_. It just angers me to realize that I still love you as much as before . . . if not more._

He sighed, "We'll have to talk eventually."

"I'm sure we do, just not now. And-" At this instant the door opened to reveal Adrian. Seeing his familiar green eyes - full of concern and love - made me sob like a child. Maybe it was because I was tired and emotional, or maybe it was because I got used to leaning on him so much.

"Hey little dhampir! You're awake," he said rushing to my side. I reached to hug him.

"I was so scared!" I sobbed with my face buried in his neck.

"I know . . . You scared the hell out of us too," he said rubbing small soothing circles in my back. "Plus, now I have to take care of the Jesus lover," he added in jest.

"I . . . What?" I asked frowning. I let go of him and he took a seat on the other side of my bed.

"Your friend the Alchemist," he said with a smile. "Sydney?"

"She's still here?" I asked in surprise.

He nodded. "Yep and she still has her smart mouth too. She still calls me Lestat, but at the end of the day she's not that crazy. She's very worried about you."

"Are you being nice to her?" I asked, remembering the whole Jesus/Lestat fight.

"As nice as I can be," he said teasing.

"Yeah that doesn't say much."

"Well I'm going to go for a walk," Dimitri said as he stood up.

I looked at him silently, but Adrian nodded and kept my hand in his. Dimitri gave me another quick glance before leaving the room.

Adrian kept his eyes on the closed door for a couple of seconds before concentrating on me again. "You know he refused to leave your side since you've been here," he said barely louder than a whisper.

"Adrian . . ."

"And when neither Lissa nor I could heal you, he ran to the hospital carrying you in his arms."

"Adrian . . . Stop it please."

"As you wish; I just wanted to tell you how it's been. He's hurt you know."

"What about me? You're '_Team Dimitri' _now?"

"I'm Team _'I Want Rose Happy'_, and you know that," he said stroking my hand soothingly. "I just wanted to keep you up to date on what happened while you were out. He really does care you know."

I sighed and squeezed his hand. "What about the true paternity of the baby? Nobody questioned it right?"

"Question it? No," he winced. "They don't have questions about it. Things are . . . pretty clear now."

"What happened?" I asked with narrow eyes.

"Maybe you should ask Di--"

"I'm asking you Adrian," I said more serious now.

"They all know Rose."

"How on . . . Dimitri," I said getting angry. "How did that happen?"

"Well you know how you pretended not be hurt, or at least not too hurt about Dimitri's departure?"

"Uh huh."

"Well as expected you didn't fool anyone. And we can't say that your father is Belikov's number one fan."

I looked at him warily, "Continue please."

"Well your father was already pretty upset, not knowing if you or Gabriel would survive. So when he saw Dimitri sitting in the waiting room while you were in surgery . . . well he unloaded all his fear and anger on Dimitri, telling him that he needed to go."

I winced, already imagining the scene.

"But I guess Abe isn't enough to impress Belikov. He stood up telling him that he had as much right to be here as anyone else in the room. After a while Dimitri snapped, telling him that if anyone had the right to be here it was him because he's the father of your baby."

I grimaced, but as much as I wanted to, I couldn't blame Dimitri for his outburst. I probably would've acted exactly the same.

"I guess he has far less self control now," added Adrian.

"He never had that much self control," I confessed. "He just knew how to hide this part of himself better."

"But you knew it."

"Of course, we're a lot alike," I smiled sadly. "How--- How did they take it?"

"Lissa was hurt that you didn't tell her, I guess, but she was far more worried about you getting better. So," he shrugged, "she didn't really focus on that. But I think you need to be ready for a big 'why-didn't-you-tell-me-I'm-your-best-friend' speech as soon as you get back to Court."

I had to laugh at that, it was very Lissa.

"In a strange way I think that your mother was relieved. At least you're pregnant by a man you loved. As for your father, I think he wanted to blow Belikov's knee caps. But even Abe Mazur has instincts of self preservation, and attacking the half Strigoi Belikov would be suicide. We all know that, especially if the person is trying to separate him from you."

"He doesn't need help for that, he's doing it perfectly well by himself," I said, regretting it almost immediately.

Adrian was about to say something when the door opened on Dimitri and an older man wearing a white coat, who I presumed was my doctor. Adrian stood up as soon as the doctor walked in.

"Stay," I whispered, gripping his hand.

He shook his head with a gentle smile. "No Rose, now I have to go. Plus I swore to phone Lissa as soon as you woke up. But I'll be back later," he bent down and kissed my forehead.

I sighed and nodded. "Hello," I said to the Doctor who was now standing at the foot of my bed. Dimitri sat back in his chair by my side.

"Miss Hathaway," he said looking at my chart. "It's good to see you with your eyes open."

I nodded with a small smile.

"So let me explain to you what happened. Your baby went into respiratory distress as your placenta detached itself. This caused some minor tears on your womb that caused the blood loss." He looked to another page on the chart, "The blood loss was actually a good thing. It made the problem obvious soon enough, and the speed in which you arrived here allowed us to do some damage control before your baby could be hurt."

"So he's okay? I mean . . . you said he had some respiratory distress I---" I bit my bottom lip. I didn't stop Dimitri when he reached for my hand, intertwining our fingers. "He won't suffer from that right?"

"He's well, I'm positive. When we took you into surgery to reattach the placenta and stitch up the lesions we did some tests on the baby. As I told you, the fact that it had been detected early, and the quickness of your arrival changed everything."

"Thank you, thank you so much," I said as some small tears of relief escaped my eyes.

"You're welcome," he said as he put the chart back in the holder on the foot of my bed.

"So I can go?" I tried.

"Well I want to keep you tonight to make sure that your vitals stay constant. If that's the case then I'll release you in the morning." I opened the mouth to speak, but he continued. "However, I need you to take it easy, and I mean really easy, until you give birth."

"Can you be more specific . . ." I asked already cringing.

"You have to rest, even if you feel fine. It was still a surgery Miss Hathaway, and the baby is starting to really move around. I strongly advise at least a two weeks bed rest."

My mouth popped open. _Two weeks in bed? I would probably go crazy!!_

"After that, I advise only minimum movements, like slow, short walks. No more training, and guarding is out of the question; at least if you want the last trimester of your pregnancy to go smoothly."

"I'll take care of her," said Dimitri so fiercely that it took all my restraint to swallow back my acidic comment. The doctor didn't need to hear that.

Dimitri asked many questions that seemed pretty random, as he idly traced patterns on the back of my hand. He asked what the doctor would advise me to eat, or what kind of physical activity I could actually do once I was off strict bed rest. However, it probably wasn't so stupid, as the doctor really seemed to ponder the questions.

"But is it safe enough for her to fly back to the US?" asked Dimitri, he was really acting like he had a say in things. I tried to get my hand out of his now, but he was holding me in his steal grip, it was pointless to try harder.

"Yes it should be safe; especially if she can lie down during the flight."

Dimitri nodded. "Good, good," he said like he was talking to himself.

"Well I shall be back later to run some more tests. For now I'll ask the nurses to get you off the perfusion, and to get you a platter of food."

"Food sounds like a very good plan right now," I said, realizing how hungry I was.

"Very well then, take it slowly," he said as he exited the room.

I looked down at our intertwined hands where Dimitri was still tracing some idle circles with his thumb. "It's going to be alright, I'll keep you safe," he said ardently.

I tried to get out of his grip again, but he was still reluctant to let me go. "I have all the help and support I need Dimitri," I said still looking down. "Let go of my hand now," I nudged our hands strongly.

He sighed heavily, but let go of my hand. "As you wish," In his tone I could hear the silent _'for now'_. "You'll see everything will be fine, we-"

"There is no '_We_' Dimitri," I said as calmly as I could. "I'm going back to Court. You know that right? Even if I can't work until I give birth, I want to stay there, near my friends."

"I never said you shouldn't stay there," he sounded offended.

"But you know you can't stay there."

"Actually I can," he said with his head high. "The Queen has offered me a position as a high guardian at Court, I accepted."

"You did that. I—"

"I told you Rose. Now I'll go wherever you are, no matter what."

"WHAT A BITCH!" I shouted as I realized that the Queen had it all planned. She might have wanted a favor from my father, but she definitely wanted Dimitri! The ultimate guardian! Oh she was smart; I never thought that I would've been able to underestimate the evilness of that woman.

"What?" he asked, reaching to touch my arm. I moved slightly to show him that his touch was far from welcome.

"Nothing, I . . . I'd like to rest a bit now, go back to your book," I said pointing to the book that was still on the floor.

He shook his head but remained silent. I frowned when his sleeve slightly went up as he reached down to pick up the book. I could see the end of a word he had tattooed on his arm. I only caught the three last letters _'_шой_'. Since when did Dimitri have his forearm tattooed?_ I was dying to find out, but I didn't want to start the conversation.

We stayed silent for about half an hour before hearing a sharp knocked on the door.

"Come in," I said, relieved to break the heavy silence.

My dad walked in with a small smile on his face. If I didn't know better, I would have said that he had been crying. "Baby . . ." he whispered stepping in. His smiled faded away and his eyes turned hard as he spotted Dimitri in the chair next to my bed.

I didn't need to look at Dimitri to know that he tensed up.

"I think I was clear enough with you Boy. I---"

"Baba please," I said wearily. "Don't start-- not now."

"But he left you and—"

"Yes, but he came back. If I'm fine with the situation please let's not go there okay?" I tried with a small smile.

Dimitri threw me a quick, confused glance. It was true that I had told him less than an hour ago that there was no _'We'_ that I wanted peace, but I couldn't admit that to my father. He was already way too worried about me and knowing that I would be back at Court hurting with Dimitri's presence, it would worry him even more.

My father sighed in rendition and sat on the other side of my bed, across from Dimitri.

"Where is mom?" I asked trying to ease the tension between the two men staring at each other with both defiance and anger.

"Who? Oh your mother," said my father, finally concentrating his attention back on me. "She's at the store downstairs looking for some magazines in English for you, which isn't easy." He brought his hand to my forehead to very delicately brush off the strand of hair that Dimitri tried to move before.

I couldn't help but sigh, maybe Dimitri and I weren't together anymore, but the 'ego battle' here was really making the air in my room hard to breathe.

"You know _Kizim_, after what happened in the most 'unexpected' circumstances," he said throwing a death glare at Dimitri, "I think that you should start to seriously consider the proposition I made you over the summer."

I frowned in confusion. "What--" I finally understood. "No Baba, I'm good at Court, surrounded by the people that care about me and that I love. I'm not saying that you don't care about me or that you don't love me because I know you do. But--"

"I know Kizim, it's alright," he said patting my hand soothingly. "I just-- I think some people in your surroundings are bad for you." He eyed Dimitri again.

"That was very smooth Mazur," said Dimitri coldly. "I didn't feel like you were talking about me . . . at all," he added with heavy sarcasm.

"I wasn't trying to be smooth. I--"

I sighed heavily in frustration, "Here we go again."

My mom opened the door at that instant with a copy of Cosmo. I had never been so pleased to see her as I was now. "It's good to see you awake, Rose," she said with a small smile and put the magazine on my night stand.

I knew she was probably worried sick about me. But she was Janine Hathaway, almost always in check, never letting her weaknesses show. Dimitri offered to give her his seat, but she shook her head and sat on the foot of my bed resting her hand on my leg. Dimitri concentrated on his book again, and I felt grateful for that.

We chatted idly for a while. I told them what the doctor said; hoping that they got the hint that as much as they - and by 'they' I meant my dad - wanted Dimitri to be the cause of my accident that he wasn't to blame. I told them that the doctor advised me to take it easy. They promised to visit more often, but I knew it was a warning for me to really take it easy.

Dimitri lifted his head briskly and looked at the door with a small smile on his lips. I couldn't hear anything special, but I knew that his Strigoi hearing allowed him to hear things long before the rest of us could.

"Oh yeah well bite me Lestat!" I heard Sydney snarl angrily at Adrian. "No wait, you actually might."

"Oh Jesus please! I wouldn't want your bigot blood, even if I had to choose between you and a rat."

"Yeah Well--I wouldn't feed you anyways, you're evil!"

"Only with you sweetheart!" Adrian replied cockily opening the door of my room.

"Rose, here. The crazy bigot delivered right to your door," he said gesturing toward Sydney. "Jesus you may come in."

"I really must care about you Rose to spend almost three days with this '_Lestat-wannabe_'. One more day and I would've been on the bed beside you. He's annoying me to death."

I couldn't help but chuckle, even if I was sick she was still the same. Her black trousers, strict bun, button up shirt and the gold crucifix around her neck, but she was my friend. "Nice to see you Syd," I said extending my hand toward her.

She came up and hugged me tight, whispering in my ear, "Don't scare me like that ever again, okay?"

"I'll do my best," I whispered back.

Sydney promised to come visit me at Court soon, which caused five more minutes of bickering between her and Adrian. It was so funny to watch, that I almost forgot the pain I felt to have Dimitri so close to me, or the tension between him and my father.

In a couple of days I would be back at Court, and then I would stop avoiding the long due conversation with Dimitri. I was dreading it for many different reasons, the main one was not knowing where I stood anymore, my heart and head wanted different things now . . . TRAITORS.

Che sera, sera . . . Whatever will be, will be. I decided to take things they way they came. I couldn't worry so much anymore, it was risking Gabriel's health; he had to be my top priority.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N:** Hey Guys!!!

As promise here chapter 10 I will be updated the play list when I'll post chapter 11.

Anyways I just wanted to thanks my reviewers as well as by Beta Jess again as you guys are truly fantastic.

Don't forget to review and tell me what you think, I love reading you.

Take care

Steffy

_Disclaimer: _I don't own VA or it's characters.

**Chapter 10:**

I felt relieved when we landed back at Court. I was fed up playing nice with Dimitri the last couple of days, to show my father he had nothing to worry about. And today, when he carried me to the plane, I wanted to burry my face in his neck; but at the same time I wanted to push him away, being that close was too disturbing.

I didn't want him to carry me, but he said it was him, my father or Adrian, but for him it was effortless. As much as I hated to admit it, it was true. It was already easy for him before - when he was a _'simple' _dhampir - but now, with his Strigoi strength . . . he could've easily carried me with one arm.

"It's okay. You're probably stiff from the flight, and you need to find your quarters and all that."

He raised an eyebrow at my statement as he reached down to pick me up from my seat under my dad's cautious eyes. I knew he was enjoying things far more than he should, but my father would be gone tomorrow and I would be able to go back to ignoring him. It might have seemed heartless, but that was the best I could do so far. I didn't trust him enough to open a door to him - as small that door might be - and his proximity was only good to hurt me deeper.

"You can ask Pavel. I mean . . ."

"But Pavel isn't here," said Adrian, looking down once the door opened. "You know that Lissa had one of her exams today, but Ozera is here."

Dimitri's smile widened as he slid his arms under me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He held me tighter than necessary.

"Don't get used to it, it won't last," I whispered in his ear.

"I'll take what I can get, and enjoy it to the fullest," he replied. His lips brushed my ear, his warm breath made me shiver. He quickly kissed my temple. "Everything you are willing to give me is good to take" he added more seriously as he stepped off the plane. He walked ahead with Adrian by his side and my parents followed behind us.

"Fireboy!" I exclaimed with a smile, trying to ignore the uncomfortable situation. It was hard to chat like everything was normal when I was perched in Dimitri's arms bridal style.

"Looking good Rose," he teased, but I could see the pure relief in his eyes, I guess they were even more worried than I thought they were.

"I'm here to show you your new place," he said cheerily. It was clearly fake cheer, but it was nice from him.

"New place?"

He nodded, gesturing for us to follow him. "Yeah, well didn't you figure that you would move out of your guardian dorm once you were too pregnant to work?" _No actually I didn't._ "Plus, once Gabe is born--"

"I _**SO**_ knew you guys called him that behind my back!" I said in mock anger.

"Gabe, what a babe . . ." Adrian stage whispered.

"Poor baby, not even born yet and already mocked," I said with an overplayed sigh of despair. My desire to joke around died when I looked up mechanically and met Dimitri's burning eyes.

"Anyways, you've got a small apartment ready here. Lissa won't be back for a couple of hours, but I still have the right to show you the minimum," he chuckled as we entered one of the smaller apartment buildings at Court.

Court was actually like a small village, everything could be found here. There were coffee shops, restaurants, beauty parlor etc . . . There were even some houses and small apartment buildings for staff that had families, like Mia and her dad for example.

"You guys are very effective," I said as Dimitri carried me into the elevator. "You got all set up in three days."

"Nah, it was supposed to be a surprise. We've been working on this apartment for the last three weeks."

I got more excited by the second; at least I had something to look forward to. Christian opened the door to reveal a small, yet cozy living room.

"Oh pretty," I said looking around from my position in Dimitri's arms. There was a small kitchenette on the left and sliding white wooden doors at the end of the room.

"The master bedroom," Christian explained pointing at the doors.

Adrian opened them and I could see a huge bed - probably a king size - with a lot of huge pillows. It was so pretty, the bed spread was red and there was a laptop resting on it.

"What is that?" I asked pointing to the computer.

"Oh, well we know how it will bore you to be on bed rest for two weeks, and then you'll have to rest a lot so . . ." Christian shrugged. "We all chipped in. You can use internet and everything. We can even chat while we're at school."

"Thank you so much," I said as tears filled up my eyes.

"It's all good Rose," Dimitri said hugging me tighter against his body.

"This is the bathroom," Christian pointed out.

"What about that?" I asked pointing to another door across from the bathroom.

"That . . . you can't go in there now, Lissa would kill me." He stood in front of the door, "That is the big surprise."

"I see . . ."

"The nursery," he admitted, "but she wants to see your reaction. We all worked so hard on it."

"They did the baby's room?" asked my dad, looking for my reaction.

"Yeah, I told Lissa she could do it if she wanted to. It made her so happy." _I would've allowed anything that could help to keep the darkness at bay. _

Christian's smile widened, "There's a bit of every one of us in this room. You'll just have to wait for Liss and Pavel."

I felt Dimitri stiffen, and I didn't need to look up to know what he thought. The room was a piece of everyone . . . except him.

"And what is that door there?" asked my mother, probably feeling the tension building up in the room. Dimitri turned around and I saw my mother point to a small door across the living room.

Christian shrugged dismissively, "It's just a small bedroom. It only has a simple, double bed, nothing special." We all nodded.

Abe looked at his watch. "I'll be back later Kizim, but now I really need to go. I have an audience with . . . someone." My mother threw him a wary glance that didn't leave any room for doubt; he was going to see the Queen.

"Baba . . ." I started warily.

He grinned, "It's all good. I'll see you soon."

"Right," Adrian cleared his throat loudly. "I can find out where you've been assigned to stay," he offered my mother.

"Thank you. I appreciate it," she said, sounding almost relieved. I was pretty sure they were trying to give Dimitri and I some alone time . . . _Fools!_

"As for me, I want to visit the feeders before Lissa returns," Christian winked, "but I'll be back later. It's so good to have you here Rose." He was trying his best to hide his emotions, but I knew him too well for that now.

They all left in less than a minute, leaving me there, in the middle of my tiny living room still securely locked in Dimitri's arms.

"You can put me down now. I--I'm pretty sure I'm starting to get heavy, even for you."

Dimitri looked down at me silently for a moment, not moving a finger. His eyes were so intense that I had to look away before my heart could escape my chest. "I could keep you in my arms forever Roza," he said softly.

"Don't call me that," I sighed, "I need to use the bathroom." I didn't want to start the whole _'you're my Roza like it or not' _quiet fight we had going on for the past two days.

He nodded and walked me to the bathroom. He carefully set me down in the middle of the room, and I had to say, my friends were very considerate. They even added a special chair in the walk-in shower to be sure I wasn't standing too long. Dimitri stood there looking around.

"Umm, I think we talked about this," I said resting my hand on the wall to carry some of my weight. I hadn't walked much in the past week or so, and it had really started to take a toll on my legs.

Dimitri was looking down at me, confused.

"Personal space?" I tried, unable to conceal the irritation in my voice.

"Of course," he said bowing his head lightly. "And don't forget what _**WE **_said," he said with some warning in his voice. It took all my will power not to stick my tongue out; but he already thought I was immature enough as it was.

"I won't," I looked pointedly at the door. I had been horrified the first time - when Dimitri decided he wanted to stay with me in the bathroom - and almost threw a tantrum. I knew he wouldn't have backed down, arguing that my safety was more important than my self-consciousness or that there wasn't anything he hadn't seen before; but he knew that the doctor said the stress could be very harmful to the baby.

Dimitri finally stepped down, but he set some conditions. I couldn't lock the door and I needed to call him if anything felt out of the ordinary, no matter how naked I was or how embarrassing I considered the situation to be. I agreed and reminded him that I wouldn't risk the life of MY child no matter how embarrassing a situation could be for me.

Dimitri had winced when I said 'my' baby, like every other time I said that. It was like I was punching him in the gut every time I said it.

"Very well Rose. Just remember I'll pick up any changes in your heartbeat, even if I'm in the other room." He left quietly and closed the door behind him. _Stupid walking lie detector!_

I used the toilet and washed my hands and face before calling him to come pick me up. I thought that if I played nice as far as the safety rules were concerned, he would stop babying me so much.

He picked me up and gently laid me on the bed. "You can go now. I'm going to rest, and Lissa will be here soon." I curled to the side as Dimitri laid a soft blanket on top of me. "You need to find out which room you've been assigned too."

He shook his head. "I've got time, I'm good here."

I was about to retort that I wanted him to go, when he sat on the foot of the bed.

"Umm excuse me?" I tried the one eye brow raised thingy, but I probably looked like a retard.

"I was thinking th--"

"Oh Dear Lord, he's thinking now," I said, rolling my eyes. _I knew I was being a total bitch to him, I just couldn't help it._

Dimitri threw me a hard glance but ignored my comment. "I was thinking that - since you've got a small room - maybe I could move here, with you."

I burst into laughter, but it wasn't filled with amusement, it was only filled with despair. _Why did he have to make it so hard for me to not love him anymore?_

"I wasn't making a joke," he said in a hard voice.

"I sure hope you were, because I will let you move in with me when hell freezes over. _**MY**_ baby and I don't need you around."

"You still love me, I know you do," he said, completely ignoring what I had said. "And I need you and Gabriel . . . _**OUR**_ son."

I snorted, crossed my arms on my chest and looked away. I didn't want him to see how much his words touched me.

"You cannot move in," I said simply, still looking away.

"I won't turn away, I'm here to stay."

I shrugged.

He sighed. "Roza . . . I didn't mean to hurt you so deeply," he said with such a broken voice that it made me look at him again. "You're that voice inside my soul that keeps repeating over and over again how much I need you, how much I love you."

He had lifted up his long sleeves and I could see the tattoo that he had on his inner forearm. It was a long sentence in Cyrillic alphabet going from the crease of his elbow all the way down his wrist. When he looked up he saw that I was looking at his tattoo.

"When did you get that? What does it mean?" I asked as curiosity finally got the best part of me.

He brushed the tattoo with his fingertips, thoughtfully. "I got it a little over three months ago, and it says the thing that you refuse to hear or understand."

"Which is?" I continued. I did manage to understand some Russian now, but reading Cyrillic was still impossible.

"_Roza ETO moya zhizn ', ona vladyeet moim serdtsem I dushoi_," he said in a deep voice that made me shiver, like every other time he spoke in Russian to me.

"I understood my name and the words 'life' and 'soul'," I said taking a deep breath.

"It means, 'Roza is my life, she owns my heart and soul'," he said, searching my face to meet my eyes. "I told you Rose, it doesn't matter how much you doubt it, I never stopped loving you".

"Maybe I should get one to match yours," I said trying my best to be hard. "Mine should say, 'Dimka is my death, he broke my heart and soul'. How does that work for you, Comrade?"

When I saw the pure pain in his face I regretted my words straight away. My pain, anger and hormones really were a deadly cocktail, and Dimitri was the available punching ball.

"Sorry I--"

"Dimka moya smart', on slomal moe serdtse I dusha," he said somberly, with anguish in his voice.

"What?"

"It's what you said, in Russian. Dimka is my death, he broke my heart and soul."

"I shouldn't have said that," I admitted. "That was totally uncalled for. I--"

"No it's alright," he stood up with a sight of rendition. "I deserve that. I guess I didn't really realize the effect that my departure would have on you. It's-"

"Rose!!" shouted Lissa, rushing in the room. She hugged me tightly, burying her face in my neck, sobbing.

"I'm alright, we're alright," I said rubbing her back soothingly.

Pavel entered the room, and stood at the foot of the bed looking at me with clear relief. "I missed those eyes," he said taking off his glasses.

"I missed yours too," I replied still rubbing Lissa's back.

Dimitri stood straighter, glaring at Pavel. I rolled my eyes at him, but otherwise ignored it. I really didn't feel like dealing with egos right now, I'd had enough with Dimitri and Abe in the past four days.

"So how are the exams going?" I asked Lissa, trying to stop her sobbing.

She looked up from my neck, sniffing in a very unladylike way. "Who cares about those stupid exams?" she shrugged. "I thought I was going to be sick not knowing if you would be alright," she added, resting her head on the pillows beside me.

"I care, Pavel cares," I said meeting Pavel's eyes.

"They went alright I think," she sighed. "We'll have to wait and see."

I looked at her sullen eyes and I could feel all her pain, sadness and worry for me. I wanted her to be all cheered up again.

"However, I can't wait to see Gabriel's room," I said with a wide smile.

"Oh yeah!" she said jumping off my bed. "You're going to love it. We all worked on it."

"Well . . . At least what she actually let us do," chuckled Pavel

Dimitri reached down to pick me up.

"No you don't need to," said Lissa quickly. "Christian is coming up with a wheelchair; he managed to get one at the clinic."

I saw disappointment in Dimitri's eyes, but he nodded and took a step back. Christian came in at that instant with Eddie in tow.

"Ready to see the chef-d'oeuvre?" asked Christian as Pavel helped me into the chair.

"I can't wait!"

Lissa opened the door and Pavel rolled me into the room. I expected something beautiful, but it went beyond my imagination. I looked around in awe.

The walls were a light, sky blue, with a small fresco of white clouds on top and another small one with angels in the middle of the wall. There was a white, wooden crib in the middle of the room, a changing table to the right, a small dresser and a cabinet with drawers on the left, all white and beautiful. There was also was a stock of stuffed animals, all white or pale blue.

"You guys, it's . . . magical," I whispered.

"I'm so glad you like it!" Lissa exclaimed as she twirled around the room. Pavel rested his hand on my shoulder.

"So . . . what did you guys do?" I asked curiously, because so far the only thing I could really see was Lissa's tasteful decorating skills.

"Well, I did that," said Pavel as he wheeled me to the head of the white cradle.

I could see the name 'Gabriel' engraved in beautiful calligraphic letters; the dot above the '_I' _had been replaced by a small halo. The name was painted in the same baby blue as the walls.

"You did that?" I looked at Pavel in surprise, he nodded. "That is so beautiful."

"I picked the frescos," Christian exclaimed proudly.

"Very tasteful," I chuckled.

"I bought the bear," said Eddie pointing to an enormous blue teddy bear that was wearing a white t-shirt that said _'Dhampir Superstar'_.

"That is very you," I said getting all emotional to see how much my friends got involved in this pregnancy. _How did I get so lucky?_

"And I requested the little reading corner," said Adrian. I hadn't even heard him come in.

I looked to my left to see a rocking chair that looked dreamingly comfy.

"It's all the classics that I loved as a kid," he added, walking to the small bookshelf.

"I'm sure the little Superstar will enjoy to be read to here."

"I love you guys," I said barely louder that a whisper.

"Can we have some girl time?" asked Lissa as they wheeled me back to my bedroom.

"Yeah see you later Rose," said Christian and Eddie. They both quickly hugged me before they left the room.

"I'll go meet your parents. We'll be back later okay?" said Adrian. I could see Dimitri eyeing him with envy. Well we couldn't really say that Adrian's relationship with my parents - and by 'parents' I meant dad - was perfect, but compared to Dimitri's? It was the perfect love!

Pavel helped me back into bed, but he didn't move after that. He was apparently waiting for Dimitri to move first.

"Well Roza I'll go check on my room, but I'll be back later," he said nicely before glaring at Pavel.

"Yeah I think I can survive without you being around," I said acidly before regretting it -yet gain. It was unlike before when Dimitri brought out the best in me; now he was bringing out the worst part of me. The part that enjoyed hurting him and that wasn't me. I wasn't like that . . . or was I?

Dimitri turned around without a word. I could feel that Lissa felt bad for him, but I knew she wouldn't voice her concerns; she didn't want to hurt me.

I sighed heavily as the door closed behind the two men. "Thank you so much for the room Liss, it's perfect," I said gratefully.

"You're welcome." I could feel the joy radiating off of her. "Thank you for coming back to us," she said as she rested her hand on my belly. "I never felt so helpless in my life Rose. The baby wouldn't get better. I--Even the Queen was worried sick, I've never seen her so restless."

"She was?" I asked suspiciously. I knew she wanted Dimitri, I thought the baby was just a means to get him.

Lissa wasn't alerted by my tone. "I swear! When you were in surgery, she was trying to find out who the best obstetrician was around here to get him to the hospital. It was almost like it was her own grandchild."

"How nice," I said unable to conceal my sarcasm. Apparently Queen Bitch wanted more from me, but I wouldn't let her. As soon as I felt better, I would confront that conniving bitch. I had nothing to lose now. Gabriel was my priority, and Lissa would understand if I ever left her to protect my child.

Every living creature had the ultimate right to protect their lives and those of their offspring . . . _Be ready Queen Bitch, you'll have some explaining to do_!


	12. Chapter 12

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

So here the chapter you were waiting for. I will also update the play list so check it out.

Anyways big thanks to the reviewers and Jess, my beta, for her enthusiasm.

One more thing I don't know if any of you read '_**Heart at Stakes' **_by Alyxandra Harvey (Called '_**My Love Lies Bleeding' **_in the UK) but if you didn't you totally should check. It's the first book of the _'Drake Chronicles' _and it's FANTASTIC!!

Take care

Steffy.

_**P.S: **_in the last chapter Dimitri didn't move in with Rose, he checked his Room in the guardians quarters she didn't give in. Just so you know lol

_Disclaimer:_ I don't know anything, I just wish I did =D

**Chapter 11:**

It had been a week of strict bed rest since I came back from Geneva. Even the laptop and internet had lost their appeal by now. I was craving company. I tried to get the Queen to visit, but apparently she was always busy. I wasn't a fool; I knew she was avoiding confrontation. I couldn't wait to be able to walk again and go straight to her face, she wouldn't be able to avoid me so easily then.

Since my hours were pretty inversed with the 'real' world, I managed to talk with Viktoria quite a lot on MSN; she was very excited to be an aunt.

I groaned as I closed the laptop and put it to the side. _Can I die of boredom? Possibly!_ It would probably get better by tomorrow, because Sydney was coming to visit. Well . . . it wasn't a visit per say - she was coming with two high ranked Alchemists for a series of meetings - but still, she promised to sneak up to visit me as much as she could.

I started to hum _Gabriel_ by Lamb while rubbing my belly. It was a strange lullaby, but it really seemed to keep both of us calm. "I'm strong even on my own, but from him I never want to part. He's been there since the very start. My angel Gabriel," I whispered the lyrics.

A little beeping sound brought me back to reality. Since I couldn't really stand on my own, and we didn't like the idea of leaving the door open all the time, my ingenious friends managed to install me a bell with the little intercom.

"Yeah . . ." I said wearily, half expecting it to be Dimitri. He wouldn't leave me alone, and it had started to really get on my nerves. I didn't want him around all day long! I thought he would grow tired of my constant hostility, but he was ignoring it now. He didn't even seem hurt by it anymore. It was almost like he was thinking _'Rose was a bitch. Oh well . . . What else is new? Just another day at the office._'

"It's me," said a voice I could recognize in a heartbeat, Pavel, my adoptive big brother. I couldn't help but feel better as I opened the door for him.

"What's up bro?" I called after opening the door.

I heard him laugh from the living room, "I'm good baby girl." He came in and stood at the foot of my bed. "What about you?"

"I'm so bored. I can't wait to be able to move around, just a little bit at least."

He smiled and nodded.

"So how come you aren't with Lissa at the boring meeting with Queen Bitch and her emissaries?"

He shrugged, "I wasn't needed, and I'd rather spend time with you."

I looked at him moving from one foot to another while balling his thumbs in his fists to crack his knuckles. I smiled. I knew him well enough by now to know that he wanted to talk about something. "Spill it Gav, I know you want to talk about something," I said grinning.

"You know me well."

"Uh huh . . ."

"There's this girl," he trailed off, and as insane as it seemed, he blushed.

"Now we're talking!!" I tried to rise a bit higher on the pillows. "So . . . dhampir or Moroi?"

"Dhampir!" he exclaimed as if I had offended him.

I laughed, "Come on, Moroi aren't that bad, see Lissa."

"Yeah well, she's taken."

"Do I know her?" I asked curiously.

He stayed silent for a moment.

"Possibly . . ." he finally admitted

"Come on hombre! Kick off the boots and come join me. You'll be more comfy here," I said as I patted the spot beside me and gave him my best devilish smile. "I think it will be a long interrogation."

Pavel sighed and rolled his eyes, but he still kicked off his boots, took off his jacket and jumped on the bed beside me.

"Oooh, this is a comfy bed!" he said appreciatively.

"Told you! Plus I'm spending almost 23 hours a day on this bed, it had to be comfy! So . . . the girl?"

He chuckled, "She works at the beauty parlor and--"

"That's why you go with Lissa all the time!"

"Do you want me to finish or what?"

"Fine," I pouted.

He rested his hand on my huge stomach and explained, "See baby, mommy is only a kid herself." _Who thought I would be that big after only six months?_ "She's always cutting me off. So how am I supposed to talk to her about the fine girl your uncle Gav met eh? You tell me Gabriel, because right now . . . I'm lost."

"How touching!" I heard Dimitri spat in a hard voice. Both Pavel and I jerked our heads up to see him standing in the room. We were having so much fun that we didn't hear him come in.

"How did you manage to get in?" I asked. The fire I saw in his eyes at that moment made me realize it was a big mistake to ask him that.

"That's what you're wondering?!" he asked with a harsh voice as he gestured toward Pavel and I. "Really Rose?!"

"What really? You're acting like I'm doing something bad, but you're the one who just sneaked into my room uninvited!"

"I understand now why you're being so horrible to me all the time. It's because of him!" he shouted, pointing at Pavel who was still sitting next to me on the bed.

I was having trouble breathing, "Umm try again. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that you turned your back on me when I begged you to stay!" Dimitri opened his mouth, but I shook my head vigorously. "What if I'm with Pavel, Adrian, Eddie or even Miller?! It has nothing to do with you! You lost that right when you left me and played dead for five FUCKING months!"

"Rose calm down please," Pavel begged with clear worry in his voice.

"I regained that right when I came back to stay! It's my child in there." He looked up and met Pavel's eyes, "What are you trying to do? Do you want my family so bad?" He sounded so hard that it felt like he would jump on Pavel any second now. Pavel was lethal, but he had nothing on this version of Dimitri. He might have been able to compete with him when he still was a dhampir, but now . . . it was impossible.

Pavel started to defend himself, "It's not—"

"I'm not your family!" I snapped, trying to bring his anger back on me. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, physically at least.

Dimitri looked down at me again, eyes black. "You're my Roza, and he is our baby boy," he said pointing to my belly again, "The rest is irrelevant." He looked at Pavel again and snarled, "Do you get it? She is _**MY**_ wife and he is _**MY **_son. Try to get between us, and I'll destroy you."

"Have you lost your mind?! I'm ABSOLUTELY not your wife!" I exclaimed in offence. I reached for the TV remote and threw it at his head, knowing that it was futile with his Strigoi reflexes. He dodged it easily, but it felt good nonetheless.

"You will be," he said, still keeping his eyes on Pavel. "I'm yours and you are mine. Anything else is just unacceptable. When you realize that I love you more than anything and that my staying has nothing to do with Gabriel . . . You'll reconsider things."

"Don't hold your breath," I snorted and then added more harshly, "No actually hold it, please."

"Roza, don't push it," he growled.

"Or what? You're going to leave me? Oh wait!" I let out a half hysteric laugh, "You already did that! The only difference is that this time I wouldn't try to stop you." I pointed to the living room, "You are actually invited to leave . . . NOW!"

"Are you seeing him?" he asked. Even though he was trying to sound mad, I could hear the despair in his voice.

I was about to let out a smartass comment that only I had the secret when Pavel spoke.

"No we're not," he said coldly. "But it wouldn't matter anyways, it's not like you treated her right."

"Who are you to judge us?" asked Dimitri haughtily. "You don't even know me."

"No I surely don't know you, but I was the one who was there for her when she discovered she was pregnant and alone. I was the one who comforted her when she was scared. I was the one whispering in her ear that everything would be alright when it should have been you!" Pavel spat pointing at Dimitri. "All this time, when she needed love, reassurance and encouragement it should have been YOU! So don't come around like things are supposed to go your way. You're already lucky enough she even allows you in the same room as her! We took your place in her life; deal with it! You have to accept the consequences of your own choices and actions."

"And let the shit hit the fan," I grumbled, but was impressed by Pavel's eloquence.

"Well in a far less poetic way . . . I guess that's why I'm trying to say."

"Thanks," Dimitri said trying to calm down. He took a step toward Pavel.

"Anyways, what did you want?" I asked coldly.

"I--" he glanced quickly at Pavel.

I sighed, "I'll see you later Gav . . . Please." I knew that things were about to get out of hand.

Pavel nodded briskly, gave Dimitri a warning glace and left the room. Dimitri waited to hear the door close before concentrating on me again.

"So psycho, what's your twig?" I asked with attitude. That was far from being smart, but that was all I had at the moment.

"I--" he sighed, "My mother phoned me. She was teary with emotion because she received your little package with the ultrasounds of Gabriel and everything. That was . . . That was very nice of you."

"Olena is an exceptional woman; she deserves to be part of this pregnancy. He is her grandson after all."

"I'm glad you recognize that," he said with a keen light in his eyes.

"Being a genitor doesn't make you a father," I took a deep breath. "So, that was why you sneaked into my room?"

"I didn't want to wake you up if you were napping," he shrugged dismissively.

"Do you do that often?" I asked through shrewd eyes. "Come in when I'm asleep?"

"You look so peaceful when you sleep, your guard is down . . . It's like I have my Rose back," he explained with sadness in the voice.

"Give me back the key," I extended my hand. "Some girls may find that a guy watching them sleep is romantic, I just find it creepy!" I shook my head. "I'm Rose, not brainless Bella!" He looked at me, lips pursed. "Give me back the key Dimitri."

"I'll see you later Rose," he said before turning around briskly and exiting the room.

I groaned, burying my head in the pillow. That man was irritating, aggravating, controlling and slightly psychotic; but I never loved anyone more than I loved him, and part of me didn't want to get over him. Part of me accepted that I would always belong to him, but my current issue was the reason for his return, his reason to fight for us now. This doubt was always at the back of my mind. That doubt that, even if I tried, could end up destroying everything. I hated hurting him this way; it was like that little angry part of me had the control every time he was near.

I could remember Adrian's words when I told him - while drunk - my plans to save Dimitri and change him back. He told me that this relationship had been doomed from the start, that this relationship was only good to bring heartache to us both. And now, for the first time since I lost Dimitri, I started to wonder if Adrian was right.

* * *

The next two days went pretty well, I was so excited that Sydney was coming that I even asked her to stay here with me. But apparently, she had to stay in the huge suite that had been assigned to the Alchemists. The ones she came with were really old fashioned, and she almost had to sneak out to visit me.

"_Sucks to be a bigot eh?" I asked her cheekily. _

"_Sometimes it really does!" she chuckled. _

I sighed as I reached for my cell phone. I knew perfectly well that what I was about to do was a stupid mistake, but it was like seeing to a car accident - you knew it would be ugly, but you just couldn't turn away.

"Eddie! Hey buddy!" I said as cheerily as I could. "Are you busy?"

"Not really, why? Do you need anything?"

"Can you come over for a minute? I . . . I have a little favor to ask you," I tried to sound nonchalant, "It's kind of a secret though."

"Sure, anything! I'll be over in a minute."

"The door will be unlocked, just come in. Thanks Buddy!" I said hanging up.

I stood up carefully; feeling like I lost more muscle than I thought was possible. It was painful in my knees and I could feel the muscles in my calves screaming, but I stood straighter and walked to the dresser to grab a pair of super sized sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Rose what the--" said Eddie looking at me with wide eyes, "You're not supposed to be up! Dimitri is going to kill us."

"Oh screw him! I only have two more days left of bed rest!" I said slowly walking toward the bathroom.

"So wait two days! Whatever you need to do can surely wait," he said worried.

"No it can't actually," I said from the bathroom. I tried to put some order in my hair before tightening it in a ponytail. "In two days she'll be expecting me, but now . . . She won't see me coming."

"Who won't see you coming?"

"The Queen of course!" I exclaimed as I came out of the bedroom.

"Are you insane?" he choked out. "You want to disobey the Doctor's order for bed rest, and go to see the Queen?" he snorted, "That's going to end well!!"

"Don't worry Castille. Nobody will know that you helped me. You'll be playing your role in the shadow."

He sighed heavily and I knew I had won. "Okay how do you plan to do that?" I could see that he wasn't very happy with me, but he would help anyways.

"Well you know since I was pregnant and bored I wandered a lot in the Court surroundings," I explained as I leaned back against the wall.

"Okay . . ."

"I know a way, using a back stairwell, to arrive in the conference room beside the main double doors leading to the Queen's Quarters."

"And?"

"Well I need you to help me down the stairs because I'm not sure that my legs can actually hold me well enough to go down. And then, you need to go back up quickly and go in through the main doors," I smiled. "I just need you to divert the guard's attention by making him move from his post so I can move from the tiny room and through the double doors without him spotting me."

"That will be bitchy Rose. What if someone sees you?"

"The Queen won't stop me; she needs me for some obscure reason. As for you, once you've diverted the guard's attention, you leave and forget you ever helped."

"I . . . don't know," he said eying me warily.

"You can leave me then. Believe me; I'll have help getting back to my room."

"I still think it's a terrible idea."

"Okay, your protestations are duly noted. Are you happy now?"

"No . . ." he groaned. Then he wrapped his arm around my waist, "Come on let's go."

"You're amazing."

"I'm a moron," he replied with defeat as we walked down the corridor to the elevator, "and Dimitri is going to kill me."

"Let's take the back exit, less traffic." I purposefully ignored his last comment. _I mean, what could I really say to that? Of course he would!_

Eddie nodded as we walked under the tree line to the main building. The more I walked the steadier I felt. I guess I didn't lose that much muscle, they were mostly numb.

"How do you know where to find her?" asked Eddie curiously.

"I know her habits fairly well now. At least working so close to her gave me that," I whispered as we went down the stairs. "She has a meeting with the Alchemists in a couple of hours, Sydney told me. And what does she do before a meeting?" I asked rhetorically. "She's in her office, rereading her notes."

"Rose . . ." he said in a breath as we made it to the room.

"It's all good Ed. I know what I'm doing." _More or less._

"Okay put your phone on vibrate and I'll beep you just before I come through the main doors."

"Thanks," I said kissing his cheek.

"Yeah . . . I'm not sure I should be thanked for doing something this stupid," he sighed shaking his head. "But you're welcome," he added before rushing up the stairs.

I stood behind the door, my ear glued to it. Only two minutes later my phone started to vibrate. _Damn, I forgot how fast we could be._

"Hey can you help me one sec?" I heard Eddie call. "I think that this door is stuck."

"Yeah . . ." said the other guardian.

I cracked the door open and saw Eddie about two doors down across from me. The guardian would be turning his back . . . Perfect!

As soon as the guardian joined Eddie, I used what remained of my Ninja skills. I felt triumph fill me when I closed the double doors silently behind me. I didn't even bother to knock and walked directly into the Queen's office.

She looked up startled as Miller immediately rushed toward me. He wouldn't evict a pregnant woman would he? The look on his face wasn't clear.

"Miss Hathaway?! Guardian Miller! Stop!" she ordered.

"I just need two minutes of your time," I said coldly. "Then I'll go and you'll never see me again."

I saw her eyes widen with surprise, "Please sit. Let's not do anything radical."

"No I won't sit and I don't want to play around anymore. You wanted Dimitri and you have him . . . Good job by the way. You can keep him, but I know there is more! I'm not an idiot. I . . ." I was starting to get breathless; apparently anger did take a toll on my breathing. "I know you want more, but I won't let you hide things from me. I would prefer to leave Lissa and my career behind than to risk my child's life. We're done!" I turned around to leave. It was a clear Mexican standoff I was pulling here, it was a bend or break situation. I was about to open the door.

"Wait!" she shouted standing up. I turned around, happy to see her reaction. She looked at Miller, "Leave us alone, please."

"But--" he started

"Are you discussing one of my orders?"

"No . . ." he said bowing slightly. He threw me a dark look and left the room.

"What do you want?" she asked finally, and I could hear the resignation in her voice.

"The truth, that's all I want. If you still remember what it is."

She nodded, reached for a key and opened a draw of her desk. "That's the truth," she said handling me a piece of paper.

I frowned with confusion and looked at the paper. It looked like an old papyrus roll.

I quickly scanned it. "What the hell is the '_The Cradle of Hope_'?" I asked throwing the piece of paper back on her desk. I thought she was playing me, yet again.

"The Cradle of Hope? The Cradle of Hope is you Rose," she said apparently dead serious.


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N:** Hey Guy!!!

I know I'm posting later than usual but I was busy and my Beta was busy with preparing her finals (poor Jess).

Anyways I really hope you are going to enjoy this chapter, i made it extra long, it's the longest chapter so far.

Take care

Steffy.

_**Disclaimer:**_ I don't own VA, if I did, I would keep Dimka just for me.

**Chapter 12:**

I snorted and shook my head. "I'm The Cradle of Hope? I've seen the Cradle of Life; is the Cradle of Hope the sequel?" I asked sarcastically.

"I--"

"I asked for the truth, not for some nonsense. You might think that I'm an idiot, but I'm not. I'd rather go than stay here to be mocked."

The Queen sighed heavily. _Apparently I was getting annoying. Well . . . What else was new?_

"Please Rose, sit down and let me explain," she said wearily.

I hated to comply, but standing was really starting to be painful. So I sat down, but also included an eye roll to make my displeasure and impatience clear.

"You see, when I was a little girl my grandmother used to tell me all these legends and prophecies concerning our people."

"Are we really going to talk about legends? I mean, I see how you could've mistaken me for Lucy the Little Pony and all, but I'm not that much into fairy tales."

She looked at me silently, and I started to actually feel awkward. "It's all good? Can I finish now?" she asked unable to conceal the frustration in her voice. I didn't think she was even trying to.

I nodded sharply.

"I never really thought about any of it until you announced to me that you were pregnant," she said while running her hands idly on the piece of paper that I had thrown back on her desk. "I thought at first that the father was my great-nephew." I remembered the flash of anger in her eyes when I first told her that I was pregnant.

"And I might have said that you were an easy girl many times before, but I never actually believed so."

"Awww, you were just trashing me for fun . . . Aren't you precious?"

"So it was easy to guess that it was Belikov's, and that was when I recalled one of the stories my grandmother told me. I went to the private collection to search for this particular prophecy. Please Rose . . . just read it."

I sighed taking it from her outreached hand once again.

"_The new soul born of a forbidden love, an eternal love, a love so pure and strong that it survived darkness and death will rise and destroy the undead. This child will be our Cradle of Hope,_" I read unable to keep my neck from prickling.

"So?" she asked expectantly.

"So what?" I shrugged, giving her back the paper. "You don't expect me to believe that--"

"Come on Rose!" she exclaimed with so much intensity. I actually never saw the Queen lose her smug face before, I realized I never actually saw her passionate about anything. "The similarities are just way too numerous to be only a coincidence. What were the chances that you two would fall in love? That he would turn Strigoi? That you, as a shadow kiss, would make it to the other side and bring back his soul? You took risks that only a person completely crazy in love would take. This is the purest form of love, and it created this unique life."

I rested my hands on my stomach, and remembered the fortune that Rhonda had given me so long ago. I was the one who was supposed to destroy the undead, not my innocent baby. _What if . . .? What if I was supposed to carry the life that would save us all? No! Gabriel deserved to have a safe life. He wasn't going anywhere near Strigoi. _

I shook my head, "As you know Dimitri and I aren't together anymore, so much for the whole 'eternal love' shit."

She laughed, "That doesn't mean you don't love each other. It's enough just to look at him when he hears you name . . . it's priceless."

"It doesn't matter," I said standing up with difficulty, "Even if that bunch of old lady stories were true, what does it change? Do you think, even for a second, that I would give you my son? Or let you do any kind of experiments on him? Well think again, because duty or not, neither Dimitri nor I would ever let you hurt our baby. Do you even get that?"

"I don't intend to do any such thing!!" she exclaimed in offence. "I may not use the most ethical ways to obtain what I want, but I would never hurt a child . . . Whatever it could bring me."

I let out an, "Umph," as I crossed my arms on my chest.

"But believe me or not, keeping you here, is keeping you safe."

"How so?"

"The legends and prophecies are known by some other Moroi; some are even experts in them. When the news of your being pregnant with the reformed Strigoi's child comes out, they might want your baby," she explained, and as astonishing as it seemed she looked genuinely concerned.

I knew only too well one of these Moroi, Victor Dashkov.

"Here you are safe, protected until," she shrugged, "I don't know. Until your child can protect himself or . . . I don't know."

"That's insane," I pointed out stubbornly.

"What if it is? What if it's all a mistake? At least you'll be in the safest place for you and your baby." She had a point. Once Gabriel grew up she would see that he was just a normal child, and the other possible threats out there would hear about that too.

I would rather have died than admit it out loud, but a small part of me didn't find the Queen's theory all that ridiculous. I could remember the psychic's words when I was at the fair with Pavel and Adrian, _'This child is the light that would put the shadow at bay forever,'_ she had said . . . or something along those lines. It was way too much to be a coincidence, but I didn't want any of that for Gabriel. He deserved a normal life, not to be the leader of a dangerous crusade, but I needed to know the truth, I needed to know everything. It was the only way by which I could efficiently keep him safe.

"Miss Hathaway?" she said, bringing me back to reality.

"I don't want Dimitri to hear about this," I said steadily. The man was so paranoid he would probably kidnap me and take us to the middle of nowhere, watching me like a freaking pack of wolves.

"As you wish, Rose. Ummm . . ." She pushed her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"What?" I asked, squinting my eyes in suspicion.

"When you had surgery, you know, they did some tests on your baby."

"Uh huh . . ."

"I was just wondering if I could use some of the blood left, and give it anonymously to the Moroi scientists. Just to see if there's something special about the baby's blood."

I looked at her silently for a moment. "You'll do it even if I refuse, right?"

"Probably," she admitted. She might be a bitch, but I really preferred when she was an open bitch.

"Will you keep me informed if you find anything out of the ordinary?"

"You'll be the first to know."

". . . and the last," I added with a little warning edge to my voice.

She nodded, "and the last," she confirmed.

"This is complete craziness; there is nothing special about Gabriel. He will just be a strong healthy little boy." I think I said that more to convince myself than her.

"Of course, it's just a silly theory. Nothing out of the ordinary will come out of it . . . I'm sure," she said with a small smile. I could see she was humoring me, big time!!

_Wow . . . I was reassured by the Queen!! _That was probably another dimension, scariest thing ever!

"Do you need help getting back to your room?" she asked from behind her desk, her hand already on the phone.

I shook my head negatively. "No that's fine I . . . I don't need anyone else to know that I didn't respect my bed rest orders," I said wincing a bit as I realized the possible repercussions of my actions.

"I'm actually surprised you respected them at all," she said with a low chuckle. "You only sneaked out a couple of days before the end."

"Yeah . . . I guess I'm becoming more responsible. Gabriel has changed me."

"Anyways, I'll keep you updated on the progress," she said dismissing me subtly. "I have a meeting with the Alchemists in less than ten minutes."

I nodded, "You know I'd rather have the truth as far as my life or my child's life is concerned."

"I'll remember that next time."

"Yeah you do that," I nodded absentmindedly. "I'll see you soon."

I didn't bother to show all of the gestures of respect that were due to royalty. She may be the Queen - she may be MY Queen - but I never felt the duty to surrender as far as she was concerned. It seemed that today it was a quality she appreciated in me, even if she wouldn't admit it out loud.

I opened the door to find Miller leaning against the opposite wall, watching the door. "It's all good now Pacino, the grownups are finished. You may go back inside," I said with my best wicked grin.

I saw his jaw muscles bulge as he stood straighter and gave me a dark look. I didn't know why I continued to pick on him, I just loved it. He completely ignored me as he walked back into the room, closing the door behind him. He wasn't even that funny to mess with; he was always mature enough to walk away . . . urgh!

My legs were feeling a lot better now, and I knew that even if I walked pretty slowly I would make it back to my room safe and sound, even on my own.

There was one positive thing; I didn't need to sneak out of the Queen's quarters. The guard there was a wolf when you wanted to get in, however, he didn't really give a rat's ass about who was coming out.

"Hello," I said as nonchalantly as I could when I entered the hall. I decided to leave the way I came in, hidden to public eyes.

"Hello Guardian Hathaway, it's nice to see---"

"No I think it will be alright, security wise," said a voice that made me pale at least three shades.

I turned my head to the left just in time to see Dimitri exiting a room a couple doors down from where I was standing, a cell phone attached to his ear. I never saw colors drain so fast and return so quickly in anyone's face before, he looked to be turning almost purple.

"I'll see you later," I said walking into the side room. I knew I wouldn't avoid a confrontation; I just didn't want it to happen in the public eye.

"Rose!!" he barked, entering the room before I even got the chance to close the door. His eyes were so dark, his nose flaring, that I had to take two steps back.

"Oh don't pretend to be scared. Nobody could hurt you more than you're hurting yourself Rose," he said with a voice so cold that I could've frozen on the spot.

"No it's--"

"Two weeks Rose. TWO FUCKING WEEKS!! You couldn't even respect that for the health of our baby?!"

_Ouch that hurts! _"No I--"

"You know if you want to kill yourself just go ahead, but you won't take Gabriel down with you!"

I winced and recoiled as if he had just punched me. I hated that tears were filling my eyes. I hated that he could see that he hurt me, because he cut me, cut me deep. It was the confirmation that the baby was the whole reason for his protectiveness of me.

Dimitri paled as if he couldn't believe he had just said that. "Rose I--I--"

Miller opened the door and peeked his head through, "Is everything all right in here?"

"We're fine," said Dimitri with a hand raised in surrender.

"Yeah well we could hear the shouting all the way in the Queen's office." I blushed furiously. I hated that they all heard what he just told me.

"Please apologize to your Highness for any inconvenience that it might have caused her," said Dimitri very formally.

I wasn't even completely there; his words hurt me way too deep. I felt numb now. I may have been hard on him, but I never accused him of anything that wasn't exact.

"That's not the point. I--" Miller finally locked eyes with me and his scowl softened. I probably looked really hideous if I could manage to put concern in that _man droid's_ eyes. "Hathaway, are you okay?" he asked, and for once his tone didn't have that sharp note that I knew so well.

I nodded, "Thanks Guardian Miller." I was pretty sure that my voice wasn't much louder than a whisper.

"Miller . . ." he whispered, and I could see it somehow worried him even more that I didn't call him Pacino. "Do you need anything?" he insisted.

"I was just going to carry her home," Dimitri explained, taking a slow step toward me. His eyes were burning with sadness and remorse, but right now it didn't mean anything to me.

I nodded again, mechanically wrapping my arms around his neck as he lifted me from the floor. I could feel that Dimitri was trying to find my eyes, but I purposely avoided his glance by keeping my eyes locked on Miller.

"Rose, please look at me," Dimitri whispered, but I didn't move.

"Let me walk you out," said Miller briskly. I was pretty sure it was the Queen's order, if she thought the baby was that important she would do almost anything to spare me stress.

"Here, if you need anything," he said, sliding a business card into the ventral pocket of my shirt as Dimitri passed him in the corridor.

"Rose . . . Rose please you have to listen to me," he whispered with urgency when we were alone, walking back to my flat. "I just got mad and scared. I . . . I didn't know what I was saying."

I sighed wearily; I just wanted to sleep now. It hurt, and I was too tired to fight, I didn't have it in me anymore.

"I'm sorry."

"I know," I replied still avoiding his eyes. _I really didn't need his sad puppy look._

"You do?" he asked in surprise as we reached the building.

"Please look at me Rose . . . I didn't mean it. You know that right?"

"Okay," I said eager to get into my apartment . . . into my bed.

"Rose don't -- Don't just say okay. I---" he sighed, "The last thing I want is to hurt you." _Then you keep failing big time. _

I shrugged as well as I could in my awkward position. "I just want to sleep. I'm tired," I said and it wasn't really a lie.

He opened the door without any effort, it was impressive. Almost immediately afterward he set me delicately on my bed. His Strigoi rapidity was a good quality sometimes.

I turned around, keeping my back to him. I could feel him standing behind me; I could feel his eyes on the back of my neck. I closed my eyes, trying to forget he was here.

"Rose, please . . ." he said in a whisper. I could hear that he was closer to me, probably kneeling at the side of my bed. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah I know. You said that already," I said wearily keeping my eyes closed.

"I just wish you would let me back in, even just a little bit," he whispered, stroking my hair lightly with his fingertips from my temple to my shoulder. "I want to know that I still have a small spot in your heart, however small that spot might be. And-" he sighed heavily. "All this frustration and fear and pain made me say things that I clearly don't mean. I couldn't ever lose you, and Gabriel doesn't change anything."

_Yeah right. What's said is said. Even mad, I never said anything that wasn't true._ He continued to stroke my hair silently for a little while.

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked finally. I could hear the pain and defeat in his voice, but all I could remember was him shouting about how Gabe's life meant everything and mine not so much. 'If you want to kill yourself go ahead,' he had said.

I let out a breath, "Yes."

Dimitri's hand froze in my hair for a couple of seconds. "As you wish," he said, and I could hear that he was standing again.

I couldn't stop the little shiver when his lips brushed my temple softly. "I love you Rose. Always have and always will," he whispered, and then everything fell silent.

The next two days went pretty slowly. I got to see all of my friends, Sydney included, but Dimitri stayed absent. I had to recognize that I missed him VERY much. He sent me a text telling me that he was granting me the distance I was longing for; I had to recognize that it bothered me to some extent.

He still came over for the doctor visit, as planned. I noticed that he relaxed when the doctor confirmed that both the baby and I were doing well and that I wasn't on strict bed rest anymore. He left me alone almost as soon as the doctor left, but the longing in his eyes reassured me somehow, that he still wanted to be around.

I looked at my watch, I still had a couple of hours before Sydney came to say goodbye, and I was still very intrigued about the prophecy crap. I wanted to find something that proved the Queen was wrong, that it was all a bunch of nonsense. The only way for me to do that was to go to the private library and research in the old books. But as the name stated, the private library was, well private. I knew only one person able to let me in . . . Adrian.

I walked slowly to the guest building where Adrian was staying, enjoying the small wind playing in my hair. I knew that I couldn't walk for too long and sports were out of the question, but this little freedom I had regained made me feel good.

I knocked on Adrian's door and heard some muffled whispers. I frowned, "Adrian?"

"Rose?!" he said breathless, "I-- one sec."

When he opened the door his hair was ruffled, his lips swollen, his shirt was on the wrong way and his jeans weren't fully buttoned up. Well you didn't need to be a brain to find out what I had interrupted, and it made me blush badly.

"Are you alright?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, I . . ." I shook my head. "You know what? You seem to be . . . Ummm, busy. I just wanted to check on you. I'll see you later."

"Are . . . Are you sure?" he seemed to be extremely uncomfortable.

"Yeah, positive; continue . . . Whatever you were doing, and I'll see you tonight after Sydney's departure."

"Jesus is leaving today?" he asked with a grin. "Now who's going to play for my soul?"

I chuckled. "Have fun buddy. I'll see you later," I said with a wink and turned around to leave. I couldn't help feeling a bit jealous of the girl in there, but I knew it wasn't right. I loved Dimitri. I guessed I was just . . . envious of what he was doing. I read in my pregnancy book that at the end of the second trimester the hormones might get you erotically charged; which was a fancy way to say that you might get horny, but apparently it would be fading soon. _I sure hope so._

I took my phone out of my pocket and winced looking at it. I knew who could grant me access to the private library; I just wasn't sure I wanted to ask.

As I reached the door I saw Pavel exiting the building where the beauty parlor was. He looked at me as I wiggled my eyebrows. He shook his head but hurried toward me.

"Did you get your nails done?" I asked with a cheeky smile.

"Oh shut up!" he said in mock anger, intertwining our arms. "Where are we going?"

"Back to my room. Syd will come to say goodbye soon, and I have some research to do online," I added evasively. I knew I wouldn't be able to go to the library today, but I was thinking that maybe I could find something online. "What about you?"

"Lissa is free for a couple of days, so I'm on Court duty."

"When does your shift start?"

"In about," he looked at his watch, "ten minutes."

I laughed, "Nice."

Once I made it back to my room I googled _'Moroi Strigoi origins'_. Most of it was rather stupid, but one website seemed legit. It explained the origins of the ancient words, and what the legends said. I didn't like much of what I read since it was mostly going in the Queen's way. It stated:

"_At the beginning of time, Humans and Moroi worked hand in hand, but some Moroi grew unsatisfied. They thought that since they controlled the elements, they should be leading and worshipped by humans. _

_The rebellious side escalated until one Moroi killed a human by sucking him dry. This act of pure evil made this Moroi lose his soul and thus, created the first Strigoi. _

_Before he destroyed the Moroi leader, a high priestess that could predict the future warned him that a creation of pure love and faith would be the remedy against the darkness he had created, and that all the evil creatures would be eradicated._

I groaned and closed the laptop noisily. I needed to find something . . . anything! The Queen was wrong! She HAD to be wrong! I winced again, knowing who I needed to call now.

"Hello…" said a wary voice.

"Paci-Miller, you said to call if I needed anything," I tried to be nice and civil, and that was a first as far as he was concerned.

"Uh huh . . . Go ahead," he said with caution.

"Well I wanted to have a look at the private library for some research I'm doing. And well, I wanted to know if you could ask the Queen to grant me clearance," _She owes me at least that much!_

"Oh . . . okay," he agreed, apparently not expecting that. Well it was true that I wasn't really library material. "I'll see what I can do."

"Thanks I--" but I heard the tonality again. _The douche hung up on me!!_

Unfortunately the goodbyes with Sydney were too quick. In the ten minutes she was in the room her phones rang three times, requesting her at the tarmac.

"You know they don't want to stay more than necessary in the den of all evil!!" she said with a weary sigh, but she promised to come back to visit once the baby was born.

She had barely left when my phoned beeped. It was a text from Miller telling me that the Queen granted me full clearance to the library, which meant that the Guardian at the door would have my name on his list.

I sighed and decided to go then since my goodbyes with Sydney were a lot shorter than I had expected and Lissa wasn't coming to pick me up until dinner. I was going to eat dinner in her apartment with her, Christian and the others to celebrate the end of my bed rest.

When I entered the administrative building, I stopped dead in my tracks. I could hear Adrian's voice coming from one of the small conference rooms. I frowned, and curiosity got the best of me as the building was normally dead quiet at this time. I tried to walk as quietly as possible to listen more closely.

"Honestly that's why you wanted to meet like this?" asked Adrian apparently incredulous. "And you really think that blackmailing me will make it all better?"

"I'm not blackmailing you," Dimitri explained calmly. _Dimitri and Adrian? It didn't sound good. _I got a little closer.

Adrian snorted, "If the shoe fits."

"I'm just saying that I know your secret; and that, view the circumstances, you could do this for me." _Secret what secret? _My heart rate accelerated.

"I'm not doing anything wrong," said Adrian stubbornly.

"So you can tell the world."

"You know it's not that easy." The room went silent for a moment.

"What do you want?" Adrian asked, finally breaking the silence.

"You know what I want."

"Yeah . . . But why?"

"Rose," said Dimitri.

"Rose? Oh yeah I can fed-ex her to you if you want."

"No Rose is here, behind the door. I can hear her heartbeat," Dimitri said like he didn't care I was spying. I took a step back, flushing furiously_. Damn his new freaking Strigoi hearing_.

"Rose?" tried Adrian incredulous. I opened the door.

"I--I –I--" I hated being caught. "I was going to the library and-- How come you recognize my heartbeat?" I asked impressed.

"I recognize your scent, your heartbeat even the way you walk," he said with a small shrug as if it were perfectly normal. "I love you."

"And except that you're not creepy . . . at all," I staged whispered. "I'm . . . going back to my room now."

"Let me walk you," said Dimitri taking a step toward me. I guessed he really wanted to be alone with me.

"Alright," I said smiling at Adrian. I wasn't even angry at Dimitri anymore. I realized that, even if he stayed mainly for the baby, it was his right, and I had no right to be mad at him for that.

Dimitri seemed surprised by my acceptance, but his bright smile showed that he was very happy about it. We walked back silently with his hand resting on the small of my back.

"Are you okay to walk?" he asked with concern.

"Yeah, I'm still a bit stiff, but it's getting better."

"You seem different. Not---not that I'm complaining about it."

"I've realized some things," I said evasively.

"About you and me?" he asked trying to sound nonchalant, but I heard his underlying curiosity.

We were almost to my building when I saw Pavel walking toward us. "There is no 'you and me'," I said just before Pavel reached us. "I thought you were working?" I asked Pavel.

"I am, but Lissa asked me if I could come pick you up. So here I am."

"I'll see you," I said to Dimitri with a small smile.

"I'll see you," he replied in a low voice.

Dinner went well, I had fun and it lasted way later than I expected. Pavel almost had to carry me back to my apartment as I kept yawning.

I changed into my PJ's, dying to get to bed. I drank a big glass of milk like the doctor advised. I heard a sharp knocked at my door. _Who would come here this late? I'm a pregnant woman for God's sake!!_ I opened the door with my best glare in place.

"Sorry to bother you, but I really need to show you something now . . . You need to see what I see."


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

So here the chapter 13 you were waiting for. You Dimitri/Rose out there should be slightly satisfied with this chapter. Oh by the way in my heard the song **_'Still Loving You'_** by Scorpion is the theme song for Dimitri in this story. I listened to it over and over again as I wrote the gym scene below.

A big thanks to Jessa, my Beta, again for doing just a fantastic job and supporting me when I go in my little _'omg I sucks' _neurotic crisis!

Big kudos to you too my dear reviewers. I know every author say that but it's _REALLY_ you that keep me going.

Love you guys.

Steffy.

**Chapter 13:**

"I-- What?" I asked letting Adrian in. "Do you know what time it is?"

"Do you trust me?" he asked as he swirled around to face me.

"In theory," I said warily. I rarely saw him so intense, he was even slightly flushed. He threw me a slight exasperated glance.

"Of course I trust you, you know that," I said shaking my head.

"So let me sleep with you," he said bluntly and took off his jacket.

I let out a weird noise; a mix of a laugh, a snort and a shocked sound. "Nice try dude. Didn't you get enough this afternoon?"

"What? No! No!!" he grimaced.

"You could do worse!" I replied offended. My hormones made me OVER sensitive.

"I . . . Rose," he sighed. "I need to show you something in there," he said tapping my forehead gently.

"And you need to be in my bed for that?" I asked incredulous. "You managed to enter my head when I was all the way in Siberia!!"

"No I need to take you somewhere. Please Rose, trust me. I'll be gone before you wake up."

I yawned. "K, whatever I just need to sleep," I said walking to my room. I stretched out on the bed, letting out a sigh of wellbeing.

"Can I take your hand?" he asked lying on the bed, on top of the covers.

"Uh huh," I said already half gone.

When I dreamed I was in the back garden of a very nice wooden house, with a big back porch. I quickly scanned the surroundings; there was a very big, old tree with a crooked thick branch that was changed into a swing.

"Where are we?"

"In someone else's dream."

"You can do that?!" I asked shocked.

He smiled, "Yes, but I needed to be in physical contact with you to take you in. Belikov and I share a bond already, that's why it's not that hard."

"Can they can see us?"

"Nope we have to remain unseen, or he'll know we've invaded his head."

"He?" I tried suspiciously. "Don't tell me you--"

"Yes I did," he sighed. "You need to see the truth. I don't know how much we'll see here, but I get his emotions, and I can feel his overpowering love for you . . . and his intense pain when you push him away."

"This is what he asked you to do?" I asked coldly, I hated that one of my best friends joined Dimitri's side.

"No he didn't. He asked me to step down, to give him a chance to regain his place in your life."

"I--" I started when I saw a little boy of about five or six run out of the house and into the garden.

He was laughing loudly. "Daddy I won!" he shouted proudly jumping up and down. He had chin length deep brown hair, just like mine.

Dimitri came out of the house with a bucket and a bright smile. His hair was a lot shorter too; it was the same length as Gabriel's and I suspected it was the son wanting to mimic the father. He had gained his weight back, and was healthier, manlier if that was possible.

"What's your point in showing me this?"

"Just watch Rose."

I sighed, but continued to watch. I didn't want to admit it, but being in Dimitri's dream hurt me; because sometimes I almost had the same dream. I was probably just too scared, too hurt, to reach for it.

"Yes you won son," said Dimitri with unmistakable pride and joy in his voice. "That's why mom calls you her Little Ninja, she never sees you disappear."

Gabriel giggled and settled on the grass as Dimitri put what I could now see was a bucket of white paint on the ground.

"Can I help you repaint the fence?" Gabriel asked.

"Will you be careful?" asked Dimitri seriously, but I could see the humor in his eyes. "You know we promised Mommy a nice, clean fence."

"I'll be careful. Slow and well done is better than fast and messy," said Gabriel solemnly. I could see the same intensity in him as in Dimitri's childhood picture.

Dimitri nodded and ruffled Gabriel's hair before kissing his forehead.

"Here you go big boy," he said giving him a small paint brush. "You do the little connections at the bottom alright?" Gabriel nodded vigorously, a bright smile on his face, and started to work alongside his Dad.

"Yeah he loves his son; I get that," I said to Adrian, slightly hurt not to be in the picture.

"So why are you trying to keep him out of Gabriel's life?" I hated when people asked me questions just like this one. I wanted to punch him in answer, because I knew there wasn't a good answer.

"Letting him in Gabriel's life will be letting him in . . . in mine. I'm not sure that I'm ready for that."

"Isn't he in your life already?" asked Adrian. I knew it was a rhetorical question, or at least I decided to treat it like that, because there was no way I would answer this question, no matter who was asking it. I wouldn't even answer it for myself.

The dream suddenly changed like in a haze, and half the fence was done at once. I saw something in my peripheral vision, and concentrated on the back porch again.

Here I was, Dimitri's dream version of me. She looked exactly as I always had, maybe a bit older, but the same long wavy hair - I knew how much Dimitri loved my hair. She was wearing a simple red summer dress with flip flops. She looked happy - blissfully happy - calm and rested. I was pretty sure that I wasn't a guardian in this dream. The dream me was a bit brighter than everything else, it was as if she were surrounded by a halo of light.

"Gabriel," she called when she stopped at the porch stairs, "Daniel's mom is here."

"Why on earth am I glowing like that?" I asked with my best _'what-the-fuck' _face, looking at Adrian.

"Do you really want to know?"

"Why would I ask otherwise?" I was getting annoyed with his ominous attitude. He was an ass even in dreams . . . damn!

"You are the light of his life. In his dream he can't see you glow, but it's a pattern when I visit dreams. The most important person of your life glows slightly."

I snorted.

"Rose . . ." he said as if he were chastising a child.

Gabriel jumped up. "I'll see you later Daddy," he called back as he ran toward the dream me.

They went into the house, and the dream me came back out about five minutes later. She stayed under the porch watching Dimitri paint shirtless. Well I couldn't blame her because I was doing exactly the same thing, watching his back muscles move in synch with the paintbrush . . . stupid hormones!

Dimitri turned his face and saw her staring at him. I was thankful that he couldn't see me here ogling him too.

"See something you like?" he teased.

"Always," she replied cheekily and gestured to a glass on the small table under the porch, "I brought you lemonade."

Dimitri closed the paint bucket and walked lazily to join her under the porch. He wrapped an arm around her waist and brushed her cheek tenderly with the back of his hand.

"Every time I look at you, you take my breath away," he whispered brushing his lips against hers.

"That's the idea Mister Belikov," she smiled, "You aren't bad either."

"I'm glad you think so Mrs. Belikov," he replied letting go of her and reaching for the cold glass. "So the little man was excited huh?"

"Yeah, apparently he really enjoys soccer. He gets to be with all of his friends."

"He's growing so fast," he confirmed with nostalgia in his voice.

"Do you miss having a baby in the house?"

"Sometimes," he shrugged. "Yes . . . yes I have to admit that I do."

"You won't for long," she said with a smile.

"Do you . . .? Are you . . .?" he put the glass on the table. "Are you telling me that--?"

"We're going to have a baby? Yes that's what I'm saying."

Dimitri lifted her up and twirled her around in a large circle. All I could hear was his deep throaty laugh, it made my heart ache. It had been so long since I heard that laugh. I missed it so badly.

"I love you Roza so, so much," he said still keeping her in his arms. "Another child with you, it's a pure blessing"

Then they started to kiss softly. It quickly became heavy, and the dream me reached for Dimitri's jeans buttons.

"I think it's time to go," said Adrian,

"No come on! Now it's finally getting interesting," I whined.

"I'd rather go blind Rose, and I think it might happen if I stay even a minute longer."

"But--" I started. The dream faded away, and I was alone with Adrian in a big meadow.

"Are you that frustrated?" he asked with a small smile.

"The hormones dude," I said looking away slightly embarrassed. "What was the point to all that?" I asked to change the subject.

"I know you, you may have flaws, but you aren't petty."

"Okay . . ." I trailed off confused.

"And what you're doing to him is cruel, Rose. I know that's not what you're looking for."

"I'm not letting him believe we can be together again."

"But you also keep telling him that you don't love him anymore, which is the biggest lie anyone could ever tell," he shook his head. "We know that's probably more a lie to yourself than anyone else, but can you blame him for believing that it's the same for everything else?"

"I guess not," I replied displeased to see how right Adrian was.

"He thinks you're only driven by your anger, but I know it's more than that, it goes deeper. Be honest, be calm and talk to him."

"I . . . I don't know," I said suddenly weary.

"You know I'll be by your side no matter what," he said with a smile. "You might decide to ignore my advice and go on the way you are; I'll still be there. But I needed to tell you this, because who else could? I'm the one linked to him, and I truly think he'll be a wonderful father, however hard it is for me to admit it."

"I know that," I sighed.

"I see it when you smile back at him, or when you let him touch you," he smiled sadly. "It might not mean anything to you, but I can see that for him it's everything."

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked earnestly.

"Just be honest, and what you don't know tell him that you don't know. He might have been an ass, but--" he reached for my hand. "Plus I know that denial isn't helping you, you still suffer as much as before, you just hide it well."

"Yes, I know," I shook my head. "I'm just scared that it will hurt more."

"I doubt it, but it's not good, this denial. Not for you, him or even the baby. Now I stop, no matter what. I won't mettle in your relationship again," he hugged me. "See you tomorrow," he said before fading away, letting me finish my night in a dream free environment.

When I woke up it took me a minute to settle everything I had experienced the previous night. The realization of my selfishness hit me like a tidal wave. I only saw my abandonment, my pain, but what about Gabriel? He deserved to have his father in his life. I knew how it was to have no father, and if I had the chance to give one to my son a man as good as Dimitri, then I shouldn't deny either of them that possibility. What if Dimitri stayed for Gabriel? I couldn't punish him for that!

I stood up and quickly looked for something to wear; anything really as I needed to talk with him before all of my courage vanished. I grabbed a muffin that was left from yesterday and a tall glass of milk before I left to find Dimitri. I bet this was something he didn't see coming.

I went down to the administrative building to check the guardians schedule for the day, and notice that Dimitri wasn't scheduled before the afternoon. "Do any of you know where guardian Belikov might be?" I asked a couple of guardians that were sitting around drinking coffee.

"Where he always is when he's not with you," said the talk black one. I wanted to slap his smirk off his face.

"And where is that?" I asked coldly.

"The lower gym," said the other one, and I heard the silent 'duh'.

"Thanks," _douche bags_.

Truth be told, I should have known that Dimitri was at the small gym. Pavel had told me that - with his new strength and probably sky-high level of frustration - Dimitri kept destroying the training material. So the Queen had equipment made just for him, and transformed the tiny lower gym into a private gym. It wasn't supposed to be private really, but the weights were too heavy and the punching bag was fitted to the actual wall. No normal guardians could train there; and - view the reaction of the two others - it was a source of jealousy.

"Men . . ." I groaned.

Before I reached the gym I could hear music full force. I couldn't help but roll my eyes; some things never changed, one of them being Dimitri's terrible music taste. Why was he so appealed to the 80's music? A Prince song finished, and _Scorpion _began to blare through the speakers.

When I walked in Dimitri didn't even turn around. He continued to hit the punching bag with so much force that I wondered if he could kill someone with just a punch. He was bound to know that I was here, but he continued, and while he trained I watched him. He was shirtless, wearing only a loose pair of gray training shorts. I couldn't help my memory flashing back to the dream - his muscles bulging under the sun - it was just as appealing now. _Damn it girl! Put some ice on it!!_

A new song started and Dimitri stopped punching the bag almost immediately. I knew that song it was _'Still Loving You' _by Scorpion. It was one of the only Scorpion songs that I actually liked.

Dimitri finally turned around to face me, a look of pure pain on his face. He fell down on his knees, shoulders hunched down. "Is there really no chance to start once again?" he asked with the song. "You won Rose. You got me on my knees," his voice was so broken that it actually hurt me beyond words.

I couldn't believe I hurt him this much, I was a monster! Whatever he did, he didn't deserve this, being down on his knees. I slowly walked to him and rested my hand on his clammy shoulder.

"I never wanted this," I said in a low shaky voice, I was doing my best to fight my tears. "I'm sorry."

He took my hand that was resting on his shoulder and brought it to his cheek. He leaned into the touch letting out what seemed to be a sigh of relief. "I never meant to hurt you . . . Ever," he said eyes closed still keeping my hand on his face.

"I know," I said now rubbing his cheek with my thumb.

He opened his eyes and looked up at me, like it was hard for him to believe in this simple gesture of affection. _Did he really believe I didn't love him anymore?_

"I came to see if you wanted to come and see the doctor with me this morning," I said gently. "He wants to see if my being off bed rest is okay. And I thought," I smiled down at him, "that you might enjoy listening to our son's heartbeat."

"Our son," he repeated. The pure joy on his face hurt me; I never would have been petty enough to deny him that.

"Of course, our Son," I repeated.

He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my waist, well sort of. He rested his cheek on the side of my belly and whispered some words in Russian. I idly started to stroke his hair in a soothing gesture.

"I never wanted to hurt you."

"I know," I replied, loving the contact, the closeness . . . the touch.

"I want the best for you two, you're my family."

"I know," I closed my eyes as it hurt me to let some of my walls down. I would try to keep the one around my heart up, I needed to.

"I love him so much already you know," he said still keeping his cheek on my belly, but be brought his hand up and started to gently rub the other side.

"I know you do Dimitri, and he will love you so much too," I added confidently. Dimitri would be the best father possible, teaching our son all of the right lessons.

"And you . . . My Roza, my life. I love you more than words can explain."

To that I didn't answer, I didn't want to believe it; I had no right to believe it.

"Roza?" Dimitri tried.

I looked down and met his troubled eyes.

"You know that . . . don't you? You know that you are the love of my life right?" he asked with urgency.

I smiled tiredly at him, reaching for his forehead in order to remove the strand of hair that lay out of place there. He sighed and kissed my belly, sending an electrical current down my spine. Now it was just too much.

I gently wiggled out of his embrace. "Come on we better go now," I said softly. "We have to go see the doctor in less than two hours, and you need to shower and move all your stuff from your guardian room to my spare room. It's--"

"What?" asked Dimitri in shock; his shirt was only half way on. "You want me to . . . move in?" he asked like he didn't understand.

"You said it yourself; he's as much your baby as he is mine." I reached for his hand and squeezed it. "You need to be in his life fully, and I know you want to take care of him through me."

He turned slightly somber, "Gabriel is not the reason I want to take care of you Roza. I-"

"Please let's just keep it at that," I saw sadness in his face again so I couldn't help adding, "for now."

He nodded, "There's hope for us. You might love me again one day."

"That seems quite unlikely," I said, and I could see his face fall with every word. "In order to love you again, I would have had to stop loving you in the first place, and that never happened. I don't think it ever will."

He walked to me with hooded eyes, and brought his hand to my face to trace my bottom lip with his thumb pad. As he leaned down slowly I knew what he was about to do. I turned my head away quickly.

"No please," I whispered. "Don't do that, give me time."

"Time," he whispered nodding slightly. "Time is all I have, since when I don't have you I have nothing."

"So give it to me please. I don't know where I stand yet," I admitted.

"Anything for you Rose, anything," he still bent down and kissed my forehead. "Thank you," he whispered as his lips lingered on my forehead.

"You're welcome," I replied. I was already wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life.


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

I'm sorry it took so long to update. Anyways so here come chapter 14. I realy hope you'll like it. There will be a little surprise attached to chapter 15, some of you might like that *wink wink*

Thanks to Jessa for beta'ing' and my reviewers for getting even more awesome as the story goes.

Take care

Steffy.

**Chapter 14:**

It had been a week since Dimitri moved in with me, and it wasn't as heartrending as I thought it would be. It was actually nice to have him around, he was caring and nice. I could see sometimes that he was slipping in - what I called now - 'brooding mode' and I knew he had flashes of his Strigoi mistakes.

I couldn't help trying to cheer him up, so each time I saw him slip I mentioned something concerning Gabriel. What sport I hoped he would like, that I hoped he wanted to go to college, etc. He probably noticed my efforts to help him out, because he kept trying harder and harder to be perfect.

One night as we were watching TV together and I told him that my feet were killing me. He almost immediately sat on the small coffee table to rub them delicately. "You know nobody likes perfection," I said to him

"I don't understand."

"When people are trying to be perfect it only let's out our own flaws, and I really don't want to try to be perfect," I smiled. "I can only fail."

"You're perfect to me," he answered simply.

"I--that's not where I'm going with that. We all have our vulnerabilities, our flaws. Don't try so hard." I moved my left foot to nudge him. "It's not who you are or who you were that hurt me and broke us up, it's who you tried to become," I explained bluntly. It wasn't a lie; it was when he left - trying to become stronger - that broke my heart. I would rather a weaker Dimitri than no Dimitri at all, and it was still something he had troubles understanding.

"What do you want from me?"

I shrugged, "I don't want anything special. Just be you, weaknesses, anger and short temper included."

"But you fell in love with the guardian, fierce and brave."

I snorted. "I fell in love with the man. Caring, loving, protective yet vulnerable and not really as much in control as he wanted to be," I sighed. Things were getting too personal, and as usual I decided to stop before it slipped. Dimitri was really good at respecting my no romance policy, and I was scared to push it too far.

I had to admit that I was getting accustomed to his presence, and I missed him when he wasn't around even if my friends were great company. I enjoyed the time I spent with Dimitri when we were putting the baby book together, choosing childhood pictures of him that Olena sent us to include.

"I thought the serious and stern look on your face was a guardian thing," I told him one day as I was going through the box of pictures, "but it seems you always looked like that," I said showing him a photo of him in front of their house in Baia. It said _'Dimka 4'_.

Dimitri laughed, taking the picture from my hand and winked at me. "I think it's a Dimitri thing," he replied. "Do I look stern now?" he asked, and I could hear the underlying playfulness in his tone.

"Well no, but--"

"Life wasn't easy, even as a child, but you make it all worthwhile," he said before concentrating on the box again. I looked at him flushing slightly. _How could he get even more charming? _He just said that like it was the most natural thing in the world.

We also spent time watching movies, or he read his favorite classics to Gabriel when I went to bed at night. I honestly liked to hear his deep voice when I was falling asleep, knowing he was sitting on the rocking chair beside my bed.

I would become an expert in Eastern Europe literature very soon. He finished _The Little Town Where Time Stood Still_ by Bohumil Hrabal a couple of nights ago, and started _Doctor Zhivago _by Boris Pasternak.

Nobody really commented on Dimitri moving in with me, it seemed to be the logical thing for us to do in our situation. I could feel some of Lissa's wariness, mostly because she was scared that I would get hurt.

Well when I said nobody commented on Dimitri moving in, that was before the surprise visit of my father.

I was supposed to be a guardian, I was a badass! I even had the tattoos to prove it, but I had all these overprotective males around me like I was a fragile and delicate flower; Dimitri, my father, Adrian, Christian, Pavel and even Eddie. Sometimes it was getting hard to breathe and I just wanted to punch them.

My father came one morning when Dimitri was off. I was busy stuffing my face with some of the double chocolate chip muffins that Lissa - bless her - ordered especially for me.

"Let me get that," said Dimitri taking a sip of his coffee. He was only wearing a pair of pajama bottoms, and I was pretty sure that he was showing off his sculptural and impressive chest on purpose. He read the same books on pregnancy that I did, and I was sure he knew about the hormones messing me up.

I noticed his little satisfied smile when he caught me staring at him; the little prick was enjoying it! He was probably hoping my hormones would get the best of me and that I would jump on him soon . . . it might not be so wrong.

"What are you doing here?" I heard my dad bark with his hard cold voice that predicted problems.

"I'm living here. What is it to you Mazur?" replied Dimitri just as coldly. "It's not like you have any paternal claim here." I let out a small growl that I knew Dimitri would hear. I had to be in love with the only man on the planet that was not impressed by Ibrahim Mazur.

"Who are you to--?"

"Enough!" I shouted from the kitchen table. I was getting tired of them both. They had to get along one way or another, even if Dimitri and I never got back together. He would be a permanent part of my life now, just like my father was. I refused to live the rest of my life with them at each other's throats.

"Hello Kizim," said my father kissing my forehead before settling beside me.

"Hi Baba, what a nice surprise," I said with only slight sarcasm. "Where's Mom?"

He shook his head, "She isn't here. I'm over for a business trip, but decided to stop just for a couple of hours on my way back to Ankara." He glared at Dimitri. "And I think I did well! There are some_ things,_"he said pointing at Dimitri, "that need to be discussed."

I saw Dimitri's hands tightened into fists. He opened his mouth to talk. "Dimitri," I said in a weary sigh. He closed his mouth and nodded.

"Can--Can I see you for a minute?" I asked him jerking my head toward my bedroom. "I'll be right back," I said to my father not even waiting for Dimitri's answer. "Help yourself to some coffee," I said pointing at the coffee pot behind him on the counter.

Dimitri followed me silently to my bedroom. I closed the doors behind us, and as I turned around I got a good look at myself in the mirror. The tank top I was wearing didn't cover my belly fully anymore. I let out an exasperate sigh trying to pull on it, but it was useless.

"We can go buy some new maternity clothes if you want. You won't fit in yours much longer, and winter is almost here, you need warmer clothes. What about tomorrow? I'm off."

I nodded, if it was good to soothe him and make him stop fighting with my father, I was all for it. "Tomorrow is fine. I don't have much of a choice," I said wincing, looking quickly at my reflection in the mirror again.

"Roza you're just perfect, the--"

"Whatever, that's not the point," I said cutting him off. We almost crossed the invisible romantic line, it was a close call. Dimitri pursed his lips but nodded. "I--It can't go on like this," I said pointing at the door. "You two it's--It's just not acceptable."

"He started it!" said Dimitri offended.

It took all my will power not to laugh; he looked just like a child. "What are you? Seven?" I shook my head. "I need to talk to him . . . alone."

I could see that Dimitri was about to say something, but I raised my hand to shut him up. "And when I say alone it's not with you staying around this floor to hear what I'm telling him. I need some father daughter time. I trust you Dimitri, and if you promise me that you won't listen, I believe you."

I could see that my words had a great impact on him - me trusting him - that was all he had been asking for since he came back. What he seemed to ignore was that I never stopped trusting him, with my life, my security, my wellbeing. The only thing I didn't trust him with anymore was my heart.

"I won't listen. I'll go check the schedule for next week, and if you need me I'll be at the lower gym."

"Thank you," I said really grateful I didn't have to fight him.

"Anything, anytime," he said kissing my forehead before walking into his own room.

I settled back into the kitchen under my father's curious eyes, and finished my breakfast in silence. About ten minutes later I heard the apartment door close.

"Finally, he's gone. What were you thinking Rose? Did you intend to tell us about him living with you?" he asked reproachfully.

"Firstly, he is the father of my child, Dad. He has as much right to be here as you. Secondly I knew that telling you he was moving in with me would lead to World War III, and truth be told," I shrugged slightly, "it's none of your business."

I saw him get flushed with anger, but I knew he wouldn't shout. Being pregnant had its advantages.

"He hurt you."

"Yes, just like you or mom or . . ." I sighed seeing the hurt on his face. "We all make mistakes Dad. He thought he was leaving for the right reasons, and that's beyond the point, we're not an item anymore. Maybe we'll never be, but he is here to stay if only for Gabriel's sake." My dad took a sip of coffee and stayed silent; it was a clear invitation to continue.

"I remember what you said about first love, and it's fine, you can think that. But I still love him, and probably always will. He is a part of me, both figuratively," I said resting my hand on my heart, "and physically," I added resting my hand on my belly. "Gabriel is your grandson and his son; your lives are now linked forever by this little boy that I love more than life itself. You have to try to get past the mistakes, because I won't send him away, he is beneficial for Gabriel. You don't know him the way I do, he will be the best dad this little boy could have dreamed of."

"I know I haven't been a good father Rose, but I'm really trying to mend my mistakes."

"And you did," I said reaching for his hand. "So let him mend his."

"Uh . . . This pregnancy is making you wise," he replied and I knew I had won.

"I know . . . Scary right?"

"Somehow yes," he said bringing my hand to his lips and kissing it. "I just don't want you to get hurt again."

"Don't worry, I'm keeping it safe," I said resting my hand on my heart again.

My dad let out a heavy, weary sigh. "I'll work on it."

"Thank you."

We spent the next half hour talking about everything and anything; I even showed him the baby book that we were working on.

After he left I took a quick shower and went down to have a look for Dimitri as I wanted to have the same little chat with him that I had with my father. I knew Lissa was sleeping, her schedule was getting different from mine now with all her classes at the university. It sucked a little bit; I was really starting to miss her.

I already imagined her disappointment when I would tell her about Dimitri taking me to buy some maternity clothes the next day. Maybe I could take her along with us, with Pavel. It could be fun. Dimitri would probably be slightly saddened by the thought that it wouldn't be just him and I, but I really needed some more time with my best friend.

I was about to take the direction of the lower gym when I saw a massive dark skinned man walking my way.

"Arch?" I tried squinting. Arch was the Secret Service Agent I worked with when we got Victor out of jail, and now he was in charge of tracking Victor down. Arch wasn't a warm or pleasant man, but at least he was honest. I didn't like him being here, it predicted trouble ahead.

"Hathaway," he said with a little nod. "I was looking for you." _Red light! Red light! Big shit imminent_. "Pregnancy suits you," he said nicely.

I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. "What do you want?"

He quickly looked around. "We need to talk."

"Serious?" I asked worried.

"More than you think," he said gravely. I nodded biting my bottom lip, trying to think where I could take him for this chat to be both discreet and secret.

"Follow me," I finally said taking him to the back of the administrative building, to the secret flight of stairs I used to sneak into the Queen's quarters. The doors were made of heavy wood and the walls and stairs were made of big stones. It would be chilly, but it was the most secretive spot in this whole circus.

As soon as I closed the door behind us and took a couple of steps down Arch stopped me. "There is a spy here," he whispered to my ear. I froze. _A spy? At Court? I wasn't safe_.

"At Court?" I whispered back.

"We're not sure. Here or at the Secret Services, but someone has to be working for Victor." I was glad that Arch was still leaning in to whisper into my ear so I could grab his shoulder for support. He wrapped one of his massive arms around my waist to steady me. If anyone saw us now they would probably think we were sharing a secret and passionate make out session, and with my luck the one discovering us would be Dimitri.

"How do you know?" I asked with urgency, my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

"Hey calm down," he said soothingly. "He isn't after you." _That you know of_.

"Each time we've gotten a serious lead on where Dashkov might be, we arrive after he left; like he is always a step ahead of us, every single time. No one can get that lucky." I could hear the gigantic aggravation in his voice. "So I had an idea, I lied about our next destination to both the office and Court, and I made it to the location everything was lying around. He had flown yes, but in a hurry. I didn't think about the Agent Locator Tracking Device . . . There is someone informing him of our next move."

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked surprised, we couldn't really say that he and I were BFF's or anything.

"Because I know you want him behind bars probably even more that I do. And the Queen . . . the Queen told me that I should talk to you."

"What do you know? What is he planning?"

"I'm not sure," he said with defeat. "When I made it to the house near Geneva, there was some info on a board, but it didn't make any sense."

"What did it say?"

He shook his head, "The ultimate weapon against Strigoi. Who? What? Check prophecies. That's all it said."

I felt a chill go down my spine. It would only be a matter of time until Victor learned about my pregnancy, or figured out the _'Cradle of Hope' _prophecy.

"Rose? Do you know what he's looking for?" he asked with urgency.

"No . . ." I whispered. "No I don't." I was doing my best to control my breathing.

"Rose if you know anything, I--I can help you," he said locking eyes with me.

I shook my head, "No, but thanks. Just---just don't tell anyone else." I needed to talk to Dimitri about everything before he could hear it from anyone else. I already cringed at the idea . . . if he was protective now, what would he be like after he learned this?

"No I won't tell anyone. The fewer people to get involved, the less chance there is for the mole to be aware of it."

"Thanks for telling me."

"Do you have a cell?"

"I . . . yeah," I said getting it out of my jacket pocket.

Arch took it from my hand and started to type something in. "You've got my private cell number now. Call if you hear anything, or think about anything. Please call me."

"I will thanks. Take the way down, it will take you by the main entrance. I'll go back the way we came." I pointed to the door.

"Keep an eye open Hathaway, here or at the Secret Service that mole can cause lots of trouble. I can't wait to put my hands on him or her," he said jaw locked.

"Believe me I know someone that will be far more eager," I said thinking of Dimitri. I wouldn't give a lot for the life of the person that would try to endanger my life or Gabriel's. Dhampir Dimitri would have killed for me; it would have cost him, but he would have done it. This version of Dimitri wouldn't even think twice before doing it.

I walked back to my apartment in a daze. Victor was a real psycho, and if he found any leverage - a threat to control the Strigoi in my son - he would do anything to access him. I knew that Dimitri would keep us safe, but there was only so much he could do. People that I loved might end up hurt in the process.

I would have to talk to Dimitri, tell him about the prophecy and everything around it soon. If I ended up being on a 24 hour watch well so be it, as long as it kept Gabriel and my friends safe.

I sighed heavily, and was startled to find Lissa in front of my door. "Liss? Is everything alright?" I asked worried.

"I –Yes," she gave me a sheepish smile. "I just miss you, that's all."

I opened the door. "Come in." I looked at my watch. "You still have some time before class right?"

"Yes we'll be going in about an hour, but we'll have more time next semester."

I reached for her hand. "It's all good Liss. We knew that with your college schedule we wouldn't have much time together. I miss you too." She smiled and I could feel her relief. "Umm, you know I'm going to buy some new pregnancy clothes with Dimitri tomorrow, and if you want to join us --"

"No, no you should go with him," she said and I could feel an uncomfortable edge.

"He talked to you too right?"

"What? No!" she said quickly.

"You're lying, try again," I said crossing my arms over my chest.

"Well maybe he nicely asked me to give him a chance to get back in your life." I sighed, rolling my eyes. "And I have to admit that I agree," she said looking away.

"Who else did he talk to?"

"Well he may have talked to someone who agreed to take a little distance for a while, but informed him that if he ever hurt you he would be set on fire during his sleep."

I chuckled. _That was my fireboy all right_.

"You're mad aren't you?" asked Lissa with sadness and guilt.

"Nah I'm not mad," I said hugging her. "You're doing what you believe is right, how could I be mad for that? I'll see you tonight when you come home." I smiled. "What about a girl's night, popcorn and a chick flick?"

Lissa smiled brightly. "It's a date!!"

The next day when I woke up, Dimitri was already dressed and ready to go. "Already ready to go?" I ask with a sleepy voice.

"Can you blame me for being excited to spend a full day with you?" he asked handing me a cup of warm milk and a plate of blueberry waffles.

"Thanks," I said biting into the warm waffle.

"You're welcome," he said kissing my forehead. "Take your time. I have two or three more things to do before we go anyway."

I nodded, taking a sip of the milk, and I was surprised to taste vanilla. Dimitri really knew my tastes.

I took a shower and dressed quickly. My phoned beeped. It was a text from Dimitri, telling me to meet him downstairs.

"Ready to go?" he asked opening the passenger side door of the Grand Cherokee Jeep.

"No country music, deal?" I asked as he sat on the driver side.

He nodded. "All right, no country," he said turning on a modern radio station.

We drove for about twenty minutes, and I frowned when he passed the exit to the mall. "I think you missed the exit," I said pointing behind us.

"No I didn't," he said keeping his eyes on the road.

"I know where the mall is Dimitri, and-- Where are you taking me?" I asked suspiciously.

"You asked me to be myself, not to try to be perfect. So that's what I'm doing, I'm taking you away for a bit, just for us to be together." _I never thought that one was going to come back to bite me in the ass. _

"I . . ." here I was again having troubles breathing. "You can't do that!" I shouted. "Did you talk to Arch?"

"Arch? No why?" he asked quickly glancing at me.

"Dimitri Belikov! Turn this car around right now!" I ordered him.

"No, we need to be alone, just you and me. You need to take me back."

"Are you--- You're insane! You know what you're doing right?" I would have hit him if he wasn't driving. "Taking someone somewhere against their will is kidnapping Dimitri!!"

He shrugged slightly. "Well I guess I'm kidnapping you then," he said like it was nothing.

"You're going to pay for this Belikov," I said looking away.

"You can't punish me more than you already have. When you took your love away, you took everything I ever had," he said somberly.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

Here comes chapter 15 as you were expected. I really hope you're going to enjoy it.

**Now concerning the surprise**, my friend and beta **_Jasper'sPrincess213_** wrote an outtake for this chapter. It starts at the end of chapter 15 but be warned the nickname I gave her is 'smut queen' and it's for a reason. This one shot is called 'Daddy's home' and it's for VERY mature readers, be warned.

I have a small bad news though, I will be away for at least two weeks which mean that I will not update during my absence, sorry.

Thanks again for your support, it means so much!!

Hugsies

Steffy

**Chapter 15:**

We drove for what seemed like forever. I was still looking around, avoiding Dimitri's glance stubbornly. _Since when did he get so cocky?_ Well he was always stubborn, but I really thought he understood that I needed some time to heal. I was comfortable with how things were back at Court. Maybe things were harder for him than I thought they were, but that wasn't a reason for him to take me away against my will.

"You know I'm doing this for us, Rose," explained Dimitri as I looked through the car window at the landscape I had never seen before. "We need to reconnect on every level, and it's not by staying around everyone else. We need time just the two of us."

I didn't even move, as if he hadn't said a word. "Come on Roza, say something," He tried again.

"Shut the help up!" I replied stubbornly. "I trusted you! You said you would give me time, just to kidnap me afterward! You betrayed me yet again."

He swayed a little on the road, turning his head briskly to look at me. It was like he had just been slapped. "No, I-"

"I said shut it!" I cried out. I reached for the volume button of the radio, turning it so loud it hurt my ears. It had to be torture for Dimitri's much more sensitive hearing, but he didn't reach to turn the sound down.

The next song made the trip almost eerie. I'd never heard this song before. The radio DJ announced _Broken_ by Leona Lewis.

_You can take all my love, what do I need it for?_

_You can take away all these words, there's no meaning anymore_

_You can take away everything; leave me lying on the floor _

_All those sorry's, we can't go back to the start_

_You can't fix me, I'm torn apart._

My eyes were filling up with tears. I would have loved to accuse the hormones, but it was just that this song was hitting too close to home. I looked away again. I didn't want Dimitri to see my vulnerably, my weaknesses.

_I wanna run away from love, this time I have had enough_

_Every time I feel your touch I'm broken_

_Shattered all the pieces and parts, never thought I'd fall so hard_

_I'm putting back together my heart, it's broken. _

I took a shaky breath that I knew Dimitri heard, even with the extremely loud music. I closed my eyes trying to ignore the lyrics. I could feel my heart rate accelerating, and I knew it was pointless to even try.

_I know it's gonna take some time to finally realize _

_I got nothing left inside, nothing to hide_

_I'm broken, I'm broken, my heart is overwhelmed_

_I'm broken, I'm broken, there's nothing left inside_

_Save me. _

Dimitri cut the song short, changing it to an info station, and I was grateful. I kept my eyes closed trying to think of anything except Dimitri, which was way easier said than done.

I hadn't even realized it, but I probably dozed off for a while. When I opened my eyes again the sun was in a different place in the sky, and I could see that we were in the mountains.

"Where are you taking me? Canada?" I asked coldly, well as coldly as a sleepy voice allowed me to.

"We're almost there," he replied ignoring my tone, he had experience now.

I finally thought about my cell phone. I could call Adrian to organize a rescue mission, which would be both stupid and pointless because I had no idea to where we were. I would only cause unnecessary worry to my friends, because I knew perfectly well that Dimitri wouldn't hurt me.

I looked at my phone. "You know I don't have reception here?" I said sharply waving my phone in the air.

"And there is no cable, TV or internet either," he replied.

"What?! I- that's not a responsible father thing you're doing right now," I said, more than exasperated. "You're taking a six months pregnant woman to the middle of nowhere, with no phone?! What if something happened?"

"Nothing will happen, Rose," he sighed, "and do you really think I would risk you? I mean really?" He threw me a quick glance. "Don't answer that," he added quickly, probably seeing my deep frown. He knew I would say anything just to hurt him at this point. _Damn him! He knew me too well._

"I told you, we need time just the two of us, and we don't need TV or internet to distract us. Plus we'll be less than twenty miles from a town, and I do have a GPS phone. I'm not senseless!! You have to listen to me, you have to understand."

"You can't force me to talk," I said obstinately.

"It's all right, I don't want you to talk, just to listen," he said, and I could see the ghost of a smile on his lips.

"Screw you, liar!" I exclaimed, probably not sounding smarter than a ten year old child.

"I've never lied to you," he said, voice hard. "I just know that keeping my distance and playing fair, won't make you come back to me. You're too scared, and I get that; but if you won't fight, I need to do it for the both of us." He took a deep breath. "Or at least try to."

I didn't answer, because truth be told, he was probably right. I enjoyed what we had right now. I knew it was making him suffer, but I was just a chicken.

He parked in front of a very pretty, wooden cabin. Of course I needed to show I was pissed off, so I stormed out of the car and started to walk into the woods. Dimitri didn't even try to stop me, so I guessed we were way too far from any other house for it to matter.

I would probably look like a total idiot when I made my way back into the house. I tightened my jacket around me - the air was icy here - and walked around the back of the house. I had to admit it was probably one of the nicest views I ever experienced.

There was a big lake with a little dock that seemed to be in pretty good condition. I stood on the dock for a little while, watching the wind make the water sway a bit. I didn't exactly know how long I stood there, but I was starting to get really cold. I didn't want to get sick, Gabriel needed a healthy mother, and he was far more important than my pride.

I sighed. "Come on baby let's go inside," I said rubbing my belly.

I walked into the house doing my best to ignore Dimitri, who was apparently working on something in the living room. "Do you like the surroundings?" he asked as if I hadn't stormed off.

I shrugged dismissively and walked out to the back porch that was actually a sunroom. I could enjoy the view without the cold. I enjoyed being in the sunroom, watching the sun set on the lake. It was strange to see everything around me being covered with a fine layer of snow; the windows were so clean, it was like I was outside.

I couldn't believe how fast things were changing now. I had to be sure that Victor would never discover that Gabriel was the supposed Cradle of Hope and that the traitor would be found and taken care of, all without Dimitri finding out.

I sighed loudly. It was very a bad time for him to kidnap me for a 'reunion getaway'.

"Are you still mad?" he asked, startling me.

I turned around briskly, with his new silent walking you never heard him coming anymore.

"If you really want to go home, we can." He gave me a sad smile. "I just wanted a little quality time with you . . . I guess I was wrong to think we grew closer these past weeks."

"We don't need to go home." _Maybe it was better to be away for a couple of days while the Queen investigated thoroughly. It would keep Dimitri from getting suspicious too_. I shook my head wearily, "I'm not mad."

"You could've fooled me in the car," he said sitting on the bench to face me.

"I . . . yes I was mad, but I guess I overreacted. You know," I pointed to my belly, "the hormones are making me even more uncontrollable."

"I find it very cute," he said reaching out to rub my belly.

"It's because you're a strange man," I said trying to sound teasing. The closeness with Dimitri made me all weak in the knees, and knowing that we were all alone with no one to stop me from making a mistake didn't help my situation either.

"No I'm just a man deeply in love with the most beautiful woman on Earth," he said looking at me intensely.

I laughed pretending to ignore the intensity and meaning of his comment. "Have you looked at me lately? I'm Fatty McFatterson, and my butt is about the size of Arizona . . . or maybe even Texas!" I shook my head and went to sit on the little porch swing, the light movement soothed me.

"You're beautiful; every part of you is just . . . beautiful." The hunger in his eyes made me blush stupidly.

"Yes, just like the Marshmallow Man."

"Why are you always doing that?" he asked somehow hurt.

"Doing what?" I asked knowing perfectly well what he was talking about.

"Every time we get serious, touching to the subjects that really matter, you skip it and talk about something else." He ran a hand through his hair. "I have to say you're very good."

"Because I don't want to get hurt again," I admitted.

"I . . . I told you Rose, I would never do that, ever again. If I ever thought, if I ever knew it would hurt you so badly . . . I would do anything to go back in time, and stay with you." He stood up and came to kneel in front of me, resting his hands on my knees.

"Dimitri-"

"You know I would do anything for you, well except go away. That . . . that I can't do anymore." He rubbed my thighs idly. "You let me into Gabriel's life, and I'm grateful for that, grateful beyond words, but I need to be with you Rose. Gabriel is one part of me, but you are the other. I will never be whole without you."

I rested my hands on top of his. "But what if I did move on, like you asked me to?" I wondered out loud, saying those words actually hurt me.

He nodded like he actually expected it, "I thought about that. I knew at the instant those guardians came to tell me that you needed me, that I would never leave you again. It was like they came at the right moment with the perfect excuse." He stood up and sat beside me on the swing. "Ask them. When they said that you needed me, I almost ran to the car," he chuckled, "and I knew that even if you were with someone else, I would fight to get you back."

"But, why did you leave in the first place?" I couldn't help but ask. I knew his reasons, he told me many times, but I still couldn't understand, I never would have turned my back on him.

"I did it . . . I know it sounds unbelievable, but I did it for us." He stood up, looking away like he was ashamed. "You remember that night when we made love, when you woke up –²

"You were sitting at the foot of the bed."

"I was so confused. While I was making love to you I kept seeing myself back in Siberia, when I kidnapped and bit you. It's - I still can't believe I did that to you," he explained in a broken voice.

"Dimitri, don't." I stood up and went to stand behind him resting my hand on his shoulder blade.

"I hated myself and everything I had done. I could feel the edge that was bound to form between us. I thought that if I could find some kind of peace, I could be the man you loved again, the man you could count on. Not this-² he took a shaky breath, "not that broken, guilt eaten, being I had become.''

''I told you I didn't mind. I loved that version of you as much as I loved the one before. If I'm honest, I'm not even mad. I was for a while, sure. I felt abandoned, yes. But-² I let go of him and went back to sit on the swing.

"But?" he asked turning around to encourage me.

"But mostly I'm scared . . . No scared is an understatement, I'm terrified of being hurt again."

"Rose, I-²

I raised my hand to stop him. "I know you wouldn't hurt me willingly, or intentionally, but it hurt just the same. You know, you're the only one who has the power to cut me so deeply. I . . ." I sighed heavily. "The first time you left, well as a Strigoi, I didn't have time to mourn the others lost; I had one goal and one goal only . . . to bring you back. I didn't have time to think about anything else.''

"Roza . . ." he started.

"However," I closed my eyes for a minute, taking a deep breath, "when you left me, I realized how important you were to me. I realized how much I relied on you and that was truly scary. I kept wondering where was the shoulder that I used to lay on; the warm presence that my body loved to hug?"

I smiled sadly as Dimitri kneeled in front of me again. "Where was the voice that used to answer my questions; the other half of myself that without it, I'd lose my mind?" He sat on the floor, resting his head in my lap. "When the day woke me up and offered its wonders, the void was just the same. You weren't there, you were never there. Even in my half sleep, I breathed, but I knew that I didn't live.

"Nothing was the same without you. I wasn't sure what happened to us. I thought about it every day, I was too scared to accept your indifference. I kept the best and buried the rest, erased your mistakes and forgot your promises. But . . . but it hurt just the same."

"What can I do to make it better Roza? What can I do to heal you? I'll do anything," he asked with urgency

"I don't think you can do anything. I just know that I won't be able to take another blow. I'm strong, but not that strong. You know better than anyone else how fragile I can be. You make me feel so vulnerable, so fragile. But at the same time, the love I feel for you made me strong enough to conquer the impossible."

"I'll stop chasing you."

I froze on the spot as I realized that I didn't want him to stop chasing me. I wanted him to want me, because . . . My eyes widened with realization, and I was rather pleased that he couldn't see me. I just realized that I always knew I would be his again. I always was his, and I wanted him to want me always. I wanted him to want me as much as I wanted him.

"At least for a while, I should grant you the time you asked me to give you. I shouldn't have tried to force things by bringing you here, I'm sorry." He kept his head on my lap, "You'll see with time, that I would never leave you again, that your heart is safe and that, if I have my say in it, you'll never suffer or cry again."

I buried my hand in his silky hair but stayed quiet. "Your heart is racing," he said, his voice a mix of surprise and worry, "isn't that what you want?"

"I'm . . . I'm not sure anymore," I confessed. "I'm confused and these stupid hormones aren't helping," I growled.

It was like a couple of days ago. I was watching TV in the main room with Dimitri, and there was a commercial for insurance; seeing the kid playing with his father and dog made me burst into tears. I never was the most stable person in the world, but now my feelings were even more intense. Even my lust for Dimitri was almost overwhelming, and I was pretty sure he could feel that too.

His head shot up and he met my eyes. "Not sure?" he asked as if he were unsure if he heard me properly. _How could he not hear me properly? He had Strigoi hearing!_

I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. "Being with you, touching you, I . . ." I brought my hand to his face, "I just don't know where I stand anymore. All I know is that I love you."

"That I know," he replied taking my hand that was on his face and kissing my palm. "And I love you too." He stood up and extended his hand to help me up. "Come on Roza, let's go eat, I'm starving."

I laughed rubbing my belly, "I'm starving too, that's all I am these days.''

"Our boy is getting big," he said resting his hand on top of mine. "We're going to have one healthy boy." He kissed the top of my head.

"Yes . . . yes we will," I confirmed. "He'll be perfect," I added with a tender smile like every other time I thought about Gabriel.

"Just like you," he said so sweetly that it tightened my chest.

"But do we have food?" I asked stupidly sitting on the sofa.

"Yes we do, I thought about everything. If you hadn't stormed out of the car like a fury when we arrived, you would've known," he laughed. "Just sit and relax, read a book or something. I'll get you when dinner is ready."

"You know how to cook?" I asked suspiciously. It didn't fit well with the deadly, lethal guardian. I knew he could bake some bread, but . . .

He winked. "You'll tell me," he said before leaving the room.

He came looking for me thirty minutes later. I was half dozing in front of the fire. "Roza?" he tried.

I jumped, startled. "Sorry I . . . I guess I'm just tired."

He smiled and helped me up. "Let's eat, and then you can have a nice night of sleep."

The dinner was delicious. It was what he called _Spaghetti Carbonara_, I just called it _Yummylicious_. "Who would've thought that a Russian badass could cook me Italian food?" I asked, teasing.

"So young and already full of prejudice," he said in mock disapproval.

"You're a very good chef," I admitted. "This tastes like heaven."

"I can teach you."

I snorted. "Yeah, ask Christian, it's not such a good idea." I shook my head. "No, I'm sorry I think you'll have to assume the job of chef at home." I stopped talking as I realized what I just said.

His smiled widened; I actually had never seen him smile so brightly. "I would gladly take the job."

I simply nodded concentrating on my spaghetti again. We finished dinner in silence. Dimitri started to clear the table. "Let me help you wash the dishes," I said standing up.

"No, just rest Rose."

"Please!" I said with slight exasperation. "I'm pregnant not disabled!"

He chuckled. "Okay, you wash and I dry, deal?"

"Deal," I replied.

We did this chore in comfortable silence, and I surprised myself by thinking that I wouldn't mind sharing chores with him for the rest of my life.

"I- Do I even have clothes and pajamas here?" I asked once I was done washing the plates.

"Of course you do, it was a well thought through kidnapping," he winked. "Come with me." He walked me down a narrow corridor.

"This is your room," he said opening the door to a beautiful, spacious room with a fireplace. "You like?"

"I really do," I said walking in. I saw a small leather travel bag resting on the bed.

"The bathroom is across the hall," he said pointing at the door.

"Thanks."

He smiled, "Goodnight Rose."

"Goodnight Dimitri."

I found my favorite nightgown in the bag, and was grateful. I was restricted enough during the day in my pants, long nightgowns were a delight. I quickly showered, and it felt good to settle in the bed. It was almost as comfortable as my own, and after spending hours sitting in the car it was paradise.

I had barely closed my eyes when I heard a soft knock on the door. "Yeah?"

Dimitri opened the door; he was wearing a simple tee shirt and a loose pair of grey shorts.

"I brought Doctor Zhivago," he said showing me the book. "I thought that maybe . . ." he shrugged uncomfortably rubbing the back of his neck.

I smiled. "Aren't you cold?" I asked, seeing him standing bare foot. "I mean it is winter in the middle of nowhere."

"I- Why?" he looked around, "Are _you _cold?"

I shrugged slightly, "A little maybe, but don't worry. I-²

"No, no," he said before disappearing quickly. He came back almost as quickly with three big logs of wood.

As I watched him - building the fire in the fireplace - I knew that if it was today, tomorrow or even next month I would be with Dimitri again. I knew I wouldn't keep those walls up; I just couldn't keep those walls up, not as far as he was concerned. He was, after all, the love of my life. _So why wait? Life is too short; I knew that too well already . . . unfortunately. _

"Better?" he asked after a couple of minutes.

"You know, I was thinking of a source of heat that would be closer, and maybe more . . . permanent.''

"I- ² he looked confused.

"What about joining me?" I asked patting the empty side of the bed beside me.

His eyes widened. "Roza . . . Roza are you sure?"

I smiled. "I've never been more sure."

He actually ran to the bed, making me chuckle. "Don't laugh woman, I've been waiting to share your bed for weeks now," he said sounding teasing too.

"I love you," I said turning to rest on my side.

He slid into the bed behind me, to spoon me, wrapping a protective arm around my stomach. "I love you too," he said, his voice cracking. He kissed the top of my head, and rested his head in top of mine. "This will probably be one of the best nights ever."

"I have to agree with that," I replied as I knew I never felt as safe as when I was in Dimitri's arms. I realized that I wanted more, I wanted him.

I turned around as gracefully as I could, which in my current state didn't mean much. I rested my forehead against Dimitri's.

"If you stay like that, my Roza, I will have to kiss you senseless," he said huskily.

"I would be mad if you didn't. I-" I couldn't even finish, as his warm, soft lips were on mine. I grabbed his shoulder as he brought his hand to the back of my neck.

Kissing Dimitri like that made me feel so good; it was like breathing after spending time underwater. I didn't want it to stop . . . ever!


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: **Hey Guys!!

I'm back…sort of. I hope you didn't miss me too much for the past 2 weeks.

Well I'll shut up now.

Enjoy and don't forget to review .

Steffy2106

**Chapter 16:**

I woke up to a small amount of light coming through the curtains. My body was a bit stiff from last night's lovemaking, but I had never felt so good . . . so whole. However, part of me was scared to open my eyes. If Dimitri was once again sitting at the foot of the bed, distancing himself of me, I wouldn't be able to bare it, not again.

"Roza," Dimitri whispered against my cheekbone. I opened one eye, seeing him leaning over me with a bright smile on his face. "How are you today _moe serdste_?" he said gently brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

I opened my other eye and smiled brightly. There was no doubt in his eyes, only love and joy. I felt so relieved I wanted to cry.

"Better than I've been in forever," I said honestly.

He wrapped his strong arms around my naked body and pulled me into him. He kissed me tenderly. "Last night was . . . Last night was-"

"Out of this world," I confirmed.

"I love you so much, my Roza. Thank you for trusting me again. I won't ever disappoint you again."

"I love you too." I smiled cupping his cheek in my hand. I loved seeing him so happy knowing I was the reason for it. I knew I had to tell him about Victor, the Queen, Arch and the Prophecy. I knew he would be worried and even mad that I had hidden the truth from him, but I just couldn't resign myself to do it now, not today.

We just found each other again, reconnected in every way possible, I couldn't spoil it now. I needed to enjoy this carefree love just a little while longer.

"Would you like breakfast in bed?" he asked kissing me again.

"I'm good for now, right here, in your arms," I said burying my face in his neck, skimming his skin with my nose.

"No place is better than here, with you in my arms. The world could fall apart, I'm satisfied."

I kissed his neck softly, closing my eyes again. Last night had been amazing, but very tiring too, and I felt like sleeping again.

I woke up later still in Dimitri's arms with my stomach groaning loudly.

"Up for breakfast now?" he asked chuckling as he kissed the top of my head.

"Yea, now I'm pretty much starving," I admitted shyly.

"I'll be right back," he said jumping out of bed. He got his shorts on and was out the door before I could even blink. Sometimes, having a man with Strigoi speed had its advantages.

I was so complaisant in my own beatitude for once that I didn't even get dressed while he was in the kitchen.

He came back less than fifteen minutes later with a large breakfast for two. He rested the tray on the foot of the bed and fluffed the pillows behind my back so I could sit straighter, as I tightened the bed sheet around my bare breasts.

"You're spoiling me," I said after he kissed my lips softly and settled beside me, the tray on my lap.

"You are my Roza, the only woman I'll ever love. I love spoiling you every once and a while. I missed you so much. When I thought it was too late, that you wouldn't love me again, it hurt me more than anything I have ever experienced. I--" he shook his head. "Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I can't believe my luck in having you back, because . . . I have you back right?" he asked his voice full of doubt.

How could he ever doubt after all the things we did last night? All the ways we connected. I would have never done all those things if I didn't love him with all my heart and soul. I smiled, reaching up to stroke his cheek softly. "Even in my darkest moments, even when I thought I would never see you again, when I thought you abandoned me and that you'd never really loved me; even then I still loved you. So yeah you have me back, but you never lost me, not really."

He stayed quiet for a moment, somehow absorbing my words while I started to eat.

"You know I can't believe you ever thought I didn't love you."

I shrugged dismissively.

"I may sound girly right now," he said with a small smile, "but where does last night leave us?"

"Two people in love, about to have a beautiful baby boy?" I tried.

He chuckled "That's a given Rose. No, I meant the future. What do you want to do?"

I looked at him silently for a couple of minutes. In a moment, well maybe not today, but soon enough, I'll have to tell him about Gabriel; the possible responsibility that will lie on the shoulders of our son, and all the psychos that might be after him because of that.

"What do _you_ want to do?" I asked him back.

"Do you really want me to tell you?" he grimaced. "I'd rather not."

"Why is that?"

"It might scare you," he said honestly. "I just . . . I just don't want you to run away."

"I won't run," I said soothingly. "Mostly because I can't anymore," I added pointing to my belly, trying to relax him with a joke. I sighed seeing the worry in his eyes. "I can handle it I promise."

"Well you know what I want. I want you."

"You have me!"

"No, I-" he smiled. "I want to marry you."

"Oh . . ." I said looking down at the now almost cold bacon.

"See, I'm freaking you out," he said moving off the bed.

"No, no it's all good I promise!" I said looking up even if I knew he could hear my heart beat frenetically. "I just-- Continue."

He looked at me as he leaned against the wall, I could see he was deciding right then if he should continue or not. "I also can't help wondering about the guardian job, and I'm curious about what you intend to do, but at the same time I'm dreading your answer." He sighed.

"A guardian's life is risky, the danger is high, and as being Lissa's guardian you are in even more danger. I know it's selfish, but I'm terrified to ever have to face this world without you. I could never raise our boy without you by my side; I just won't be able to go on without you here."

I looked at him silently understanding his reasoning only too well, but it didn't mean it had to please me.

"So ideally I would love you to walk away from all this so we can live together, in a safe and quiet place, and just be happy and in love. But I know, I _know_ it would be terribly selfish to ask you to do that. I've already done so many things to you, and I would feel terrible to ask you to let go of the only other constant remaining in your life." He came back to sit at the foot of the bed. "But I respect you enough not to lie when you ask a question. So here is what I dream of."

"Thank you," I said barely louder than a whisper. "I like this honesty."

"Tell me the truth Roza, did I scare you?" he asked with clear anguish.

He sort of asked me to marry him, and move away so we can have this 'perfect' family with possibly more babies. I was only 19, and certainly not living in the 40's; so, of course, he scared the hell out of me! But at the same time, I knew the way he had been raised, the constant danger of my career and I knew if I were in his shoes I would want him to be safe just as ardently.

"I'm fine," I smiled. _Or at least I will be_.

He smiled sadly and nodded. I didn't think I fooled him as much as I wanted to.

"Do you want to go take a walk around the lake?" he asked taking the empty tray from my lap.

"Yes, thank you, I would really enjoy that. I just need to take a shower first." Then, without even thinking I added, "You can join me if you want."

I finally got a smile out of Dimitri. "Yes, I would really enjoy that," he repeated my answer.

He was tender and caring; there was nothing sexual about that shower, he just helped me wash my back. It was silly, but it was like he was protecting me in an atypical way.

"Do the others know where we are?" I asked later as we were slowly walking, hand in hand, around the lake. "Or should I expect the SWAT team to barge in at any moment?"

He smiled squeezing my hands, "Nah, no SWAT team. Lissa knew I might take you away for a couple of days, and well," he pointed behind him where the lodge cabin was, "Do you think I have the kind of money to own something like that? It's Ivashkov's."

I looked up at him curiously. Adrian was my friend, I really couldn't believe he would help Dimitri to that extent; even if he thought deep down, and I doubted, that it was for the best.

"What do you have on him?" I asked trying to sound teasing and not as curious as I truly was.

Dimitri stopped and looked at me, delicately brushing a strand of hair from my face. "It's not my place to say Rose, but," he smiled, "it's nothing big, I swear."

I nodded silently. "Well it's okay to have a secret anyway, isn't it?" I said trying to justify why I kept the silence about everything.

Dimitri shook his head with a small smile. "No, I don't want secrets between us Roza, not anymore. It just has nothing to do with either of us." He took my hand and kissed it softly.

I smiled. _I wasn't even sure there was anything special about Gabriel. Enjoy the rest of your weekend Rose. Enjoy calm and loving Dimitri, because once you unload it all, all hell will break loose._

"Are you keeping something from me Rose?" he asked looking at me intensely.

I looked back at him silently. "I'm not sure just yet. I . . . Please let me enjoy getting you back and figure things out, okay?"

"You aren't risking anything, are you?"

"Nah," I said dismissively. _I'm not for now_.

The rest of the weekend was just a dream. Once I let go of my anger and pain and let Dimitri fully in again, I felt complete again. A small part of me wanted to stay here, in this hideaway, with him forever.

I would have to choose eventually who I wanted to be. I knew deep down that I couldn't have it all. I couldn't be an efficient guardian, a good mother, a good girlfriend or wife and a devoted friend at the same time. I would have to choose . . . more or less; but not now, not today. I wanted to enjoy having it all just a little while longer.

When we got back to Court reality hit me hard. I looked at Gabriel's room as Dimitri walked in silently behind me. "What is that?" I asked pointing at the mobile above his bed, with little angels hanging from it.

Dimitri wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down to kiss the hollow just below my ear. "He is my angel too you know. I made that during the last couple of weeks. Our little Angel."

My heart tightened in my chest, he needed to know. "It's beautiful," I whispered

"Just like you are, just like he will be," he said resting his hand protectively on my belly.

"Dimitri, I have--"

"Wait a second, someone is about to knock," he said before kissing me quickly and walking back to the living room.

"The Queen would like to see her," said a voice I recognized as Miller.

Dimitri turned around and probably mistook my hesitation as a desire not to leave him alone. "You go, my Roza. I'll check my schedule while you do that."

I nodded with a smile.

"So I see everything is back to Paradise," said Miller with a bitterness that surprised me.

I simply shrugged.

As soon as we walked into her office, the Queen stood. "Thank you Guardian Miller, you may leave us now."

Miller nodded with defeat as he retreated.

The Queen walked up to me, her eyes keyed up. "It was all true," she whispered with urgency. "They've found what makes Gabriel special," she added with a wide smile.


	18. Chapter 18

**A.N: **Hey Guys!!

Here chapter 17. I'm a bit late into posting it and I'm sorry about that.

This chapter has not been fully betaed since my beta had some obligations of her own so I wanted to apologize for that too.

Well I hope you're going to enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review.

Take care

Steffy

**Chapter 17**

"So?" I asked trying to sound a lot calmer than I felt.

"We were about to give up on finding anything abnormal; the scientists were adamant that the blood I gave them was normal. One of them believed me and decided to try something different. He mixed it with Strigoi blood and watched it under the microscope."

"Strigoi blood?" I asked taken aback, "How on earth did you manage to get Strigoi blood?"

She looked at me silently for a minute before shaking her head faintly. "You don't want to know," she simply replied.

I nodded imagining a super secret, underground lab with silver cages charged with magic. The Strigoi were monsters, evil and twisted. Desperate time did sometimes call for desperate measures but I was shocked to think like that, to be so rational.

"Well I guess you know that Strigoi blood acts like a virus. Once the organism is weak enough and that the virus is in the body well," She sat down on the sofa and gestured me to join her.

I nodded gratefully as my feet were getting swollen.

"So, as I was saying, the virus takes over and changes the healthy blood cells into Strigoi blood cells, infecting the whole organism. So, as a last try, they mixed some of Gabriel's remaining blood with some Strigoi blood and the Strigoi blood didn't affect the cells even better --"

"It reversed the process? The Strigoi blood turned back."

The Queen had a sad laugh. "Maybe in fairytales things would turn just that way, but no Rose, unfortunately not. However, it destroyed the Strigoi cells, like a vaccine or an antidote"

I opened my mouth but closed it again._ What could I even say? My baby's blood was the antidote to our biggest threat. How was I supposed to deal with that? _

"I'm not giving you my baby's blood," I simply said.

She looked at me like I was slow. "I…didn't ask you anything. I thought you wanted to know."

"Sorry," I mumbled. I wasn't good with apologies, and apologizing to the Queen was a first, and I surely didn't like it.

"No, the scientists are working on it now, to isolate the antibody. But you have to know that . . . that Gabriel is very special, unique."

"He was always very special and unique," I said rubbing my belly idly. "He is Dimitri's son."

The Queen had a small smile. "Yes that's a given, but he will be seen as Patient X, the donor. If anyone knows about him before the vaccine is out, it will take at least a couple of years, he would be in danger."

"The mole . . ." I whispered, hating the mystery person even more.

"Yes, and knowing we can use his blood as a weapon too," she grimaced slightly. "You see, imagine we can figure out the uniqueness of his blood and we charge bullets with it."

"It will kill Strigoi on the spot. No more misses no need to get close."

She nodded. "A real fighting chance, even for Moroi and humans," she confirmed.

"That is . . ." I didn't know what to add.

"Miraculous?" she tried.

"Scary."

She stayed silent for a couple of seconds before nodding. "Yes, yes it is. I'm sorry about that."

"Are you really?"

"I'm happy for my people, Rose; this is what we've all been waiting for. Getting rid of Strigoi will not only benefit Moroi, but humanity too."

"The greater good," I said unable to conceal my bitterness. I never pictured the Queen as the altruist type, and I wouldn't start now, no matter how hard she tried.

She ignored my comment. "But even if I never was a mother myself, I can only imagine how scary it is for you as this unique child is your baby."

"Did you find the mole? Or did you at least get closer to finding out who he or she is?" I tried.

She shook her head and there was weariness in her face I'd never seen before. "Our mole is very good at what he or she is doing, but we presume the problem is in the Secret Services itself." I nodded. "But I reinforced the security here too," she shrugged slightly.

"I need to talk to Dimitri," I stated. It had to be before he started questioning the changes in security. I was already in big trouble, I knew it. The more I waited, the closer I got to Doomville.

"Yes that seems to be wiser. I don't know Guardian Belikov well, but he doesn't seem like the type who enjoys surprises."

I grimaced, but kept quiet.

"You're safe here you know," she added probably mistaking my silence.

"I'm not worrying about me so much," I shook my head and sighed. "I better get back."

"It's a miracle Rose. You know that right? We finally have a chance, and it's your son that is offering it to us."

"A miracle for you . . . a burden for him."

"Maybe, maybe not," she patted my knee dismissively. "Well it's good to have you back."

"So you can make sure I'll stay alive and keep the baby safe?" I asked knowing that her concern wasn't selfless.

"Yes," she admitted bluntly, leaving me dumbstruck. I was so used to conniving Tatiana that this honest one still took me aback. "Anyways you better get back now, but I promise I'll tell you once we've found the traitor."

"Thank you," I said not really knowing what I should say.

I walked back slowly, trying to figure out how I could present things to Dimitri. Truth be told, every angle looked as bad as the previous one. I hid information from him directly linked to our son, to my safety. I didn't think there was a way to present things without him getting mad, the only thing I could more or less work on was the degree of his anger.

"Hey you're back," said Dimitri as soon as I opened to door. I wasn't even surprised anymore. He probably recognized my heavy footsteps as soon as I got out of the elevator.

"Yes," I said as I walked into the living room.

"You know more guardians have been scheduled to come," he said as he joined me, kissing me quickly on the lips. "I won't complain though." He gave me a wicked grin. "More guardians usually means less shifts, which means more time with my beautiful Roza."

I felt my heart tighten in my chest. "I need to talk to you," I said gesturing to the sofa.

"Okay . . ." he said trailing off taking the seat across from me.

I took a deep breath and unloaded it all at once. The woman in Poland, the prophecy, Arch, the mole, the researches the Queen made, Victor's 'mission' to find the Cradle of Hope . . . Everything.

Dimitri opened his mouth two or three times during the whole speech, but he didn't say anything. I could see he was growing increasingly still and that was not good. The old Dimitri would have grown agitated, but I noticed that this Dimitri, the stiller he got, the more you were fucked . . . and not in a good way. When I was finished he stared at me silently.

"Say something," I said after a while, "anything."

He closed his eyes with a heavy, loud sigh.

"Dimitri? I-" I reached to touch his arm. As soon as my fingers connected with his forearm he jerked away from my touch and stood up. He walked at almost top speed to his bedroom, and left with his little gym bag.

"Where are you going?" I asked with trouble breathing. I knew I had messed up, but he had too. However, I knew it would only make things worse if I mentioned that. "Don't walk away. Please!" I said my voice breaking.

The pain I could hear in my own voice got through to him, because he turned around with his hand still on the door knob.

"I need to be alone. I'm going to the gym," he explained before opening the door on Lissa and Pavel. "Did you tell her?" he asked pointed at Lissa.

I shook my head negatively.

"What about him?" he asked jerking his head toward Pavel.

I couldn't deny that Pavel knew part of it. Maybe not all, but he still knew that Gabriel was special.

Dimitri snorted, and if I thought he was mad before, he was enraged now. I could see the whole rivalry resurface.

"Of course he did, your _Pavel,"_ he shook his head and left without a looking back.

Lissa watched him go as Pavel looked at me, trying to asses my level of hurt.

"I was about to ask you how the little escapade went, but I guess I have my answer," said Lissa finally returning her attention to me before entering the room. I could feel her disappointment and worry.

"It went well actually until . . . about ten minutes ago." I felt tired all the sudden.

"What was all that about?" she asked curiously.

"Can I explain that later? I swear I'll tell you everything, but right now . . ." I tried to think fast, I had to think 'damage control'. "I need to see Adrian," I said. I could take him to the gym, or at least near it, to assess the extent of Dimitri's anger. It would help me deal with him

"I- Ivashkov is gone," said Pavel coming to stand beside me, resting a soothing hand on my shoulder.

"Gone?" I almost shrieked.

"Just for a little while. A week I think," said Lissa quickly. "Don't ask me why. He was so confused himself," she chuckled. "I think there is a girl involved."

I nodded. When things finally calmed down I would find out who that girl was, but right now I had way too much on my plate to even think about it.

"I'll talk to you later Liss. You know I would now, but-" I looked at the door.

"No go, go. I understand." She hugged me tight. "Whatever it is, I know he won't stay mad forever. But you better go."

I gave her a small smile. I knew Dimitri could forgive a lot of me, almost anything really, but I hidden from him the threat on our son's life, something he could have actually done something about. That was bound to leave its mark.

"Maybe you can start to tell her," I said quickly glancing at Pavel. "Except for me, and now Dimitri, you're the one who knows quite a bit."

"I could read the reluctance on Pavel's face, but he nodded anyways.

"Putting me first line?" he said trying to tease me.

"Aren't I always?" I asked trying to tease back, but failing miserably. I looked at Lissa a little worried; I just came back and ditched her yet again. "Are we good?"

"Of course we are. Go now," she gestured me out, "I'll go back to my quarters; Christian is waiting, but give me a call when you want to talk okay?"

I nodded, "Thank you," I said sincerely.

As I walked to the small gym where Dimitri was supposed to be, I tried to think about what I could say or do to make things better. I had lied to him, well not outright to his face, but it was exactly the same. He had repeated to me so many times how Gabriel and I were his whole life, that he couldn't bear the thought of losing us, and I didn't tell him about the danger hovering over us, a danger he could have tried - and probably succeeded - to protect us from.

I found him doing some weight lifting. I walked closer and saw he was lifting more than 400 lbs smoothly. It shouldn't have surprised me anymore, but his inhuman strength still made me shiver. I understood how he could lift pregnant me like I was lighter than a feather.

"Rose, I thought you understood I needed space," he said without meeting my eyes.

"Well . . ." I took a couple of steps back, "You didn't give me space when I requested it. Why should I grant it to you now?" I asked folding my arms on my chest pretending to feel a lot braver than I was.

Dimitri didn't answer, and continued his weight lifting.

"I'm sorry, really, but we all make mistakes and it's not that much of an issue really. I wanted to wait to be sure."

He stopped lifting his weights and glared at me. Then he stood up and walked to the punching bag, which he kicked and punched in fluid and lethal movements.

"Plus you screwed up too, you know. I . . . neither of us are perfect."

"Roza . . ." he growled with clear warning. I knew he didn't want to shout, he didn't want to let his control slip and say things that would hurt me.

"It's not like you've never hid something from me."

"You don't get it do you?" he asked finally turning around. "I know I messed up, I messed up bad and I will always feel bad for the pain I caused you but I did what I thought was the best at time Rose, what I thought you needed but what were your reasons for hiding things from me? Was it better for me? For Gabriel? Or even for you?" He shook his head. "Don't compare our faults Rose! Our motive…our motive were opposite. I did a mistake to protect you, you made one to make me suffer."

He turned his attention on the bag again, I wanted things to be alright and spoke before thinking, like I always did when I was desperate. "I'll marry you" I blurted out.

He froze on the spot just before his fist connected with the bag and I realized of all the wrong things I could have said, this one was one of the worse.

He turned around and if a look could kill I would probably be dead on the spot. "You'll marry me?" He asked with disbelief.

"I---Yes?" I said making it sound like a question.

He let out a sound halfway between a scream and a roar, I could guess it meant 'super-pissed' in reformed Strigoi language. I winced.

"Oh thank you Rose, thank you so much!! I always dreamed that someone would marry me because she feels bad and don't know how to make things better. That's wonderful Rose. I--I'm so _happy_ I just don't know what to say!" He added sarcastically pressing on the word happy.

I couldn't do anything right, I blew it and had to deal with the consequences. I took a shaky breath. "No" I said with a small voice. "No amount of guilt could be enough to submit, to become a wife and surrender my freedom. I wanted to marry you because I love you." I shook my head. "See you later" I added leaving the gym with the little dignity I had left.

As soon as I walked out the tears I had done my best to contain started to freely run down my cheeks. These damn hormones made me far more emotional than I should! I took the path to the small wooden area behind Court, I didn't want to deal with anyone or anything now. I needed to think.

The more I got into the deem forest the more I cried before having to stop resting a hand on a tree so I was sobbing hard.

He was right, the reasons for which I hide everything from him where neither justifiable nor innocent. It was stupid, petty and childish and I couldn't even believe I did that. Gabriel was his child as much as he was mine, I knew he love him with all the fibers of his being. If he couldn't forgive me I couldn't be mad, I didn't deserve better.

I reached for the tissue in my pocket and blew my nose in a very gross manner when strong arms wrapped around me from behind.

"I love you so much," he whispered in my ear. "Please Roza, don't cry. I don't want to be the reason you are sad." He bent down to kiss the hollow just behind my ear. "It's alright, we'll be okay. It doesn't change anything about how I feel and how much I love you. Please…please just stop crying" he begged before starting to whisper loving words into my ear.

I turned around in his embrace and buried my face in his chest, inhaling deeply. He was covered in sweat but it didn't matter, he was my Dimitri and I was secured in his arms.

I started to cry even more. "I'm sorry" I sobbed my face still buried on his chest. We were lucky he had Strigoi hearing because my voice was muffled.

"I know" he said caressing my hair soothingly.

"I wouldn't do it again, ever! I love you, oh I love you so much. So much it makes it hard to breathe" I said not moving an inch.

"I know you do Roza," he kissed the top of my head. "There's not sin you could commit than I couldn't forgive. I don't try to understand anymore, why I love you so much it just is."

"You're my heart" I admitted seriously standing on my toes to kiss his throat before resting my ear on his chest to listen to his heartbeat. We stayed like that for a couple of minute in complete silence. It was winter but in his arms I felt so warm, I didn't want to move…ever.

"Where you serious?" he asked finally out of the blue.

"About what?" I asked keeping my eyes close.

"About wanting to marry me or was it a way to make me feel better?" He tightened his hold on me. "I won't be mad if it was I swear. I know how impulsive you can be, it often make you say stupid things. It's alright if it was just an impulse, we have time."

I wiggled in his hug to free myself a little so I could look into his eyes. I only saw love, care, tenderness and pride in his eyes and I knew he meant it. I knew he would never force me into anything I didn't want 100% and it made me want him even more. I wanted him to be mine officially, to show the world that he belonged to me.

I shrugged "Well there is only one way to find out." I tried to look serious, almost smug. "You have to ask the question."

He looked at me with slight surprise and I saw the wicked light of pure joy light his eyes, he knew already.

He nodded, "Okay…I love you Rose, you brought out this side of me that I never knew existed. When we met you were still so young, you are still so young but you taught me so many things, about love, life and trust… more things than I never thought were possible. You push me to become a better man, a man that deserves to be with you, that deserves to be loved by you. When I think about life, the future, nothing matter really as long as you are beside me I know I'll make it. You are always on my mind, I could be thousands of miles away, evil to the core, I still missed you so much that it ached, it always ached." He reached for my hand and rested it on his chest, where his heart was "but when I'm with you, the pain just vanish and I know, I know that my heart belongs to you and always will." He took a shaky breath. "Rosemarie Jane Hathaway would you marry me."

I reached up to rest my hand on his cheek. "Yes, Dimitri Alexei Belikov. I would be honored to become your wife" I said barely louder than a whisper as his speech literally took my breath away. "It has nothing to do with our son, or my faults, or anything like that. It has only to do with the way I love you and how it hurt so deep in my flesh just to imagine a future without you. I'm yours as much as you're mine so yes…with my whole heart YES!" I said a lot louder this time making him chuckle just before he crashed his lips on mine.


	19. Chapter 19

**A.N: **Hey guys!!

Thanks for the reviews and Jess for take the time to beta it.

Well I hope you're going to enjoy it and don't forget to tell me what you think since you'll be finding out who's Adrians' mystery girl.

P.S: I'm impressed with some of you guys noticing even the smaller details, kudos to you.

**Chapter 18:**

**Two months later. **

"Come on Liss," I sighed as I reached for the wedding magazine she brought back from the city today after class. She had already marked some pages, as she did every time she brought them, using the excuse of having nothing to do during her lunch time.

I loved my Lissa, I really did. But sometimes she seemed to make some kind of transfer, living her life vicariously through mine.

"Sweetie, why are you so stubborn?" I asked pointing at the dress she had marked. "I couldn't have fit in that dress even before getting pregnant," I explained looking at the model wearing it. There was no place for my breasts or hips.

She sighed as she sat on the couch across from me. She eyed all the wedding magazines that were collecting dust under the coffee table. "Did you at least get a look at those?" she asked pointing at the piles.

"Hard truth or a sweet lie?" I asked with a grin rubbing my belly.

She chuckled. "Okay, I have my answer. What about Dimitri? What does he think? It's his wedding too after all."

"It is 'too', huh?" I asked with a grin. Dimitri and I always laughed about Lissa's excitement, it seemed liked it was her wedding sometimes. "Well," I shrugged slightly, "Dimitri will go along with everything I want. He wants me to be happy."

"Isn't that cute?" she said putting one of the piles on the coffee table. I could see a big 'wedding organization' lecture coming right up; it was almost as scary as facing a Strigoi.

"But we both want his family to be there with us. You know how much he loves them and how much they mean to me too," I said sitting straighter . . . or at least tried to.

I really was a walking belly these days, and if I thought it was a burden before . . . We went for a checkup yesterday, and Gabriel was healthy and growing big. '_Just like his daddy_' Dimitri had said before kissing my belly.

I was still off in dreamland when Lissa exclaimed, "Of course his family has to be there!" effectively waking me up. I blinked quickly, bringing myself back to reality, and noticed that she was giving me a 'duh' look.

"Well you know we don't want to drag them here for now, it's not safe." I forced a smile. "We want to organize a nice little wedding, but not until after this whole mess is over and after Gabriel is born." I gave her a big sad puppy eyes look.

"But what about now? I thought Dimitri wanted to make things legal before Gabriel is born, or and I quote, 'before Rose changes her mind'."

I chuckled at that. Dimitri still told me how it was hard for him to understand why I chose him. He didn't even comprehend how much I loved him, what he meant to me. Sometimes I wished he could see inside my head, I knew that if he did he wouldn't doubt me ever again.

"I won't change my mind, but" I shook my head. "We're just going to do it in front of a Moroi official in two weeks with our two witnesses. Later, maybe in six months or a year we'll organize a big wedding ceremony."

"I--"

"Plus I know he won't tell me, but I'm pretty sure he wants to get married in Baia. You haven't seen it, but this town is pretty cute and the church is too. That's where he grew up; you know it's _his_ church. I know he won't express his wishes, but I'm sure it would mean a lot to him."

Lissa nodded. "So we'll have the wedding in Russia," she said matter-of-factly.

"Probably," I confirmed.

"But I mean, even if you don't do much here, maybe we could still do something small, just to mark the moment. You know . . ." She twisted on her seat uncomfortably.

"What did you do?" I asked suspiciously.

"Well," she gave me her best innocent, wide smile announcing trouble ahead. "I might have told a couple of people what you intended to do in a couple of weeks."

"Uh huh . . ." I said narrowing my eyes suspiciously, "and by 'couple', you mean. . ."

"Your friend Sydney . . . your parents," she looked away. "You know."

I sighed. "Liss . . ." I said with exasperation.

"And now they'll come for nothing? Really? You would do that to them? To ME?"

I couldn't contain my laughter any longer. "You really have a gift! I have to give you that. You're the one who didn't listen, and you somehow manage to make _me_ feel guilty."

She looked at me with her big sad eyes.

"Fine!" I said with a heavy sight. "But no white dress, church, bridesmaids etc . . . That will be later with Dimitri's family." I planned on having Lissa as my Maid of Honor and Sydney and Viktoria as my bridesmaids.

"So what can I do?" she asked and I could see her eyes gleam with anticipation.

"A little buffet, but that's it, nothing more. You can decorate the room a bit, but nothing over the top, okay?"

"That's it?"

"Better than nothing, Princess," I teased. "Better than nothing."

She pursed her lips, but nodded. "Yes, better than nothing." She looked down at the magazines with a sigh.

"But I'll let you organize the real wedding too," I said before realizing I had even spoken. I truly was a sucker as far as Lissa was concerned.

Her head jerked up, "Really?!"

"Well, you'll have to work alongside Olena and my Mother, if she decides to help." Which seemed pretty unlikely, I couldn't imagine Janine Hathaway even handling a wedding magazine. "But yes, you can be in charge then, if you want."

"Oh that's good!!" she said reaching for a heavy pile of magazines. "I better go now, but I'll see you later," she added slightly wavering under the weight of her burden. I could feel her increasing excitement, and that was actually worrying me. "Can you open the door for me?"

I laughed as I stood up with difficulty; it was getting increasingly harder as the days passed. Gabriel was due in three weeks and I surely couldn't wait.

I was barely up when Dimitri came in. "Hey!" he said to us both, but his eyes were locked on me. Each time he came home my heart started to beat furiously, and I could see the joy to be back in his brown eyes.

"Hi Dimitri. Bye Dimitri," said Lissa almost running out of the room with the huge piles of magazines.

"She seems to be in a very good mood," said Dimitri closing the door behind her as I leaned on the back of the sofa. "You didn't tell her about not wanting anything, did you?" he asked with a teasing smile.

"Actually I did. She'll just organize a small buffet." I wrapped my arms around Dimitri as he came to stand beside me.

"And she's that happy? I'm impressed," he said kissing the top of my head.

"Yes well . . . I might have sold her our actual wedding."

He laughed, "Yes that's more like it." He pulled me even more into him. "I don't care, as long as you are the bride. She can organize the wedding she wants."

I kissed his chest through his shirt. "Same for me, as long as you'll be the one waiting at the altar . . . The rest doesn't matter. Did you choose your witness for the little ceremony?" He sighed, but stayed silent. I wiggled in his hug, "Is that an issue?"

He let go of me and shrugged slightly. "Well to be honest, ideally Adrian would be the best choice. But-"

"Adrian?!" I asked really not expecting that one.

"Well I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for him. We wouldn't be together if he hadn't helped. But at the same time, I know how he felt about you, and I think that it might be bad taste."

"Felt?" I asked curiously. I dreamed of Adrian moving on. I loved him very much, and didn't want him to be sad. It was true that he didn't look as sullen as far as Dimitri was concerned, he even looked honestly pleased for us.

Dimitri smiled. "Yes . . . he's getting there; I'm just not sure the trade is that good." He grimaced, "But I'm pretty sure he'll talk to you about that soon enough."

I nodded. "So who are you considering?"

"Christian."

"Christian? Yeah, why not? But if you really want Adrian, I can probe him . . . in a virtual way."

He chuckled. "That's also why I love you." I took that as a yes.

Dimitri looked down and rested his big hand on my stomach. "So? How is our big boy doing today?"

I took his hand and brought it up on the other side. "Feel that? That little lump?" He nodded. "That's our big boy's heel. He moved around quite a bit today, and apparently he got tired so he is taking a nap."

He kneeled in front of me and lifted my shirt up my stomach. "You're being hard on Mommy today, huh?" he asked before kissing just beside my belly button, making me shiver. "You want to get out, eh? We can't wait to meet you too, but don't get too excited. Stay in as long as you can, where it's warm and safe."

I laughed, stroking Dimitri's hair. "Yes, easy for you to say. It's not on your bladder that he's pressing, making you go to the toilet every five minutes."

"I can talk to him about that if you want," he said very seriously.

"Yes, maybe he would listen to his Father," I said continuing to stroke his hair.

"Well let's get comfy first; it might be a long talk," he said standing up and picking me up bridal style. He carried me to our room and laid me on the bed.

He quickly kicked off his boots and came to lie beside me, rubbing my belly.

"Gabriel, this is your father talking," he started seriously with his deep voice.

"Yes it's good to specify, he might have confused you with me or Lissa."

"Anyways," said Dimitri with a small smile, ignoring my interruption. "As I was saying . . ."

I was apparently even more tired than I thought, because I fell asleep lulled by Dimitri's deep voice and soft caresses.

* * *

Dimitri had been right concerning Adrian. It had been only three days when he showed up, almost as soon as Dimitri left for his shift off campus with Lissa.

Dimitri didn't like to go off site, but he had to every once in a while. Today he just went with Lissa to the University since Eddy had an exam to take and Dimitri knew I wanted her safe.

Adrian looked worried and a little hurt, and for once I knew I wasn't the cause of his turmoil.

"Talk to me Adrian," I said as soon as I closed the door behind us. I gestured him in the kitchen where I served him a cup of Dimitri's still freshly brewed coffee and served myself a big glass of chocolate milk.

"I'm an idiot," he said finally after taking a sip.

Any other time I would have joked telling him that '_it's a given_' or '_what else is new_', but seeing his expression, I decided to keep my jokes for myself. "Why are you saying that?" I asked resting my hand on top of his.

"It's like I'm a masochist, getting a kick at getting hurt. I always want what's wrong for me! You," he pointed at me, "now her." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "I didn't intend to fall for her you know."

I had no idea who he was talking about, but I knew what I was supposed to answer. "I know."

"I mean, putting my heart out on the line again was certainly not the plan. Not after being burned by you . . . no offence."

"None taken."

"But here I am, falling, and I don't know how to stop. I knew, boy I knew, from day one that it couldn't work. We're just so wrong for each other but . . ." he sighed.

_Man, Gabe . . . Not now baby, _I thought as Gabriel turned, pressing on my bladder, I truly needed to pee now, but I was scared to cut Adrian off before finding out the name of his mystery girl.

"Who is she Adrian?"

"I'm sure you can figure this one out."

Which girl did I know that was all wrong for Adrian? One name came to mind, but I had to do my best not to laugh. It was impossible, but maybe it could cheer him up. No relationship could be as impossible as that one.

"Sydney?" I tried to sound serious. When he looked at me and didn't answer, I almost fell off my chair. "You've got to me kidding me! Sydney . . . Sydney? My crazy bigot human friend, Sydney?" He nodded once, lips pursed. "How? It's WOW. Does she know?"

"Very funny Rose."

"Sorry it's just--Sydney?" I asked again with incredulity. "How did that even happen? Don't answer that!" I added quickly. "Just give me two minutes, I'll be right back." I knew that my bladder wouldn't hold during, what I presumed, would be a long and crazy explanation.

He nodded, "Yeah, take your time."

As soon as I reached the bathroom I felt a warm gush between my legs and instantaneously heard a small splashing sound. I automatically looked down to find a small puddle of water at my feet.

"Adrian!" I shouted. "Adrian I need you now!" I added my voice breaking as I started to comprehend what was going on.

"What is it?" he asked from behind me, worry in his voice. My tone probably alerted him.

"I---My water broke," I said turning to meet his eyes." I'm having the baby now!"


	20. Chapter 20

**A.N: Hey guys!**

So here is chapter 19 and I couldn't believe I could write a full chapter on childbirth but I guess I could. I don't think you will be able to complain about it being short as I was a good girl this time…15 pages, my longer chapter to date for this story!

Anyways thanks to jess for proofreading the chapter ( I will never be faithless again Yoda) and thanks to my reviewers you guys are really keeping me going.

Well I really hope you'll like this chapter… don't forget to review *wink wink*

Take care

Steffy

**Chapter 19: **

"I- What?" asked Adrian letting his eyes wander from my face to the small puddle at my feet two or three times. He was also growing increasingly whiter.

"Gabriel is coming now," I repeated resting my hands on each side of my belly. I was stressing too, Dimitri was in New York and it was too early! The baby wasn't due for more than two weeks.

"But . . . but he can't!" blurted Adrian. "Dimitri isn't here, and--and I don't know what to do!" he added walking around like a decapitated chicken.

"Well you better tell that to him," I said pointing at my belly, "because he doesn't seem to be aware of _that_." The last word came out as a growl as I was having a contraction and it was a bitch.

"Okay, breathe. Whoo, whooo. Do like the little dog, I've seen that on TV. I--it will be okay do you still have the wheelchair?"

I nodded, "Folded up in the walk-in closet."

He ran, grumbling about how he should have taken the Lamaze classes anyway. Bless him he was such a good friend. He came back and helped me into the chair as I was trying to do the breathing exercises that I learned with Dimitri at the Lamaze classes we took once a week.

"We need to call Dimitri!" I said before Adrian could roll me anywhere.

"But how? They don't have a phone in --"

"He has one, and it's on," I cut him off. "I'm the only one who has the number. If you call he'll answer."

"Okay. But let me get you to the clinic first, alright?" He started to roll me quickly to the door, grabbing my phone off the counter along the way. He was mimicking my breathing exercises the whole way.

Dimitri and I had decided that I would give birth in the clinic here at Court rather than at the hospital. There were fewer casualties here, and it was protected. We couldn't be sure if Victor had figured out Gabriel's importance yet. Moreover, the clinic here was high-tech enough, and many Moroi and dhampir women gave birth there just fine.

"It's going to be fine. Everything will be alright," Adrian repeated over and over again, but I didn't answer because I knew he was talking more to himself than anything else.

"Her water broke!" he shouted almost as soon as we got through the doors of the clinic. All eyes turned to us.

"Thanks," I mumbled looking down.

"Sorry," he said wheeling me to the reception desk, but he didn't seem sorry at all.

"Rose Hathaway," he said looking at the secretary, "she's having a baby."

The secretary looked at my belly quickly before looking at Adrian again. I could read a _'no shit Sherlock_' expression on her face, and I would have laughed if I wasn't so stressed.

I couldn't see Adrian's face, but I imagined that he threw her his best death glare. She paled and nodded before reaching for the phone to beep a nurse.

"Awww Rose, having that little angel now, are we?" asked Nurse Wilson. She was the dhampir Nurse that took care of me during most of my appointments here, I really liked her. I smiled with relief, at least something going my way.

"Let's get you ready to have this big boy," she said before quickly saying hello to Adrian.

"You--You're coming right?" I asked him, unsure if it was appropriate, but I knew that I didn't want to be alone.

He nodded, "Of course I'm coming!" He shook my phone. "Let the nurse get you started while I phone everyone. I'll be with you soon." He sat down and took a deep breath. "I just need a minute too…"

I chuckled. "You did good," I called after him as the nurse wheeled me away.

"So how are you doing Rose?" she asked me nicely as she helped out of my clothes.

"I'm scared," I admitted. I pretended to be brave all along, but truth be told, I was terrified. Terrified to give birth; terrified to be a mother, I would have to take care of this little, helpless, fragile baby. He would be depending on me and that was the scariest thing of all. But she was an OB/GYN Nurse, I was sure she heard it all before and I knew it was safe to tell her.

"Everything will be fine Rose. Your baby is healthy; you are strong and healthy…" She helped me into the hospital gown and onto the weird looking bed that I wasn't even sure was a bed at all.

"But he's early," I repeated looking at the monitors she was wheeling toward me. She put a weird clip on my finger and stuck some sticky things on my belly to follow Gabriel's heartbeats.

"Barely two weeks, it's nothing Rose I promise, a lot of women don't go the full forty weeks, it's not even considered as premature. Look how strong both your heartbeats are," she pointed at the screen, "and Doctor Lewis has been practicing childbirth for over ten years! Believe me he is more than qualified. You will be just fine."

I nodded.

"When did you start having contractions?" she asked as she was writing in the chart.

"About fifteen or twenty minutes ago, I don't know exactly," I said looking around, registering the room.

She wrote it on her chart. "I'm going to do a quick exam now Rose, okay? Just to see how things are presenting themselves."

I nodded as she settled the sheet on my spread legs.

"Okay the baby is set in the right position," she said during the exam. That was still the most uncomfortable thing I ever experienced. "Are you sure you've only been having contraction for the past twenty minutes?" she asked me, eyebrows furrowed.

I nodded, "Yes, why?" The beeping sound of the heart monitor increased with my panic. "Is there something wrong?"

"No it's just . . . You're far more dilated than I thought likely, that's all."

"Is that a bad thing? I--I don't know." I tried to think. "Well I had a bit of pain this morning when I woke up, but it was like mild indigestion." Which made sense since I ate some chocolate covered strawberries with a tuna sandwich last night before bed.

"It wasn't indigestion Rose, it was contractions," she said writing something in her chart again.

"But it wasn't all that painful," I said as a justification.

"Sometimes they're not." She smiled. "But it's alright; you'll have the baby sooner than I thought, that's all. Normally, if your contractions had started only twenty minutes ago your cervical dilation should be of three maybe four centimeters, but you're already past seven."

I looked at the door. I was alone; about to have the baby, Dimitri should be here! I didn't want him to miss this, he had to be here!

"I'll be right back with the ultrasound machine, just to check that everything is how it's supposed to be. Don't worry, you still have a little time ahead of you. I'll send your friend right in."

"Thank you," I said on the verge of tears. The hormones were really making me crazy right now.

She nodded. "You're welcome. And don't worry too much, stress is not good."

Maybe two minutes after she left the room I heard a soft knock and Adrian entered. "Hey sweets," he said with a smile, but I knew he was worried. I could see it in his eyes.

"Did you get them?" I asked as he took the seat beside me.

"Yes," he said with a nod. "They weren't in New York yet, they turned around." Adrian put a metal glass on the nightstand and took my hand. "They should be here in an hour."

I nodded, pursing my lips as a contraction hit me hard. I could feel my body flushing and sweat pearling on my forehead.

"He needs to be here, he can't miss this. I need Dimitri to be here when Gabriel comes into this world," I said with a small sob.

"He'll be here Rose," said Adrian with a soothing tone. He encircled the glass with his empty hand for a minute before resting it on my forehead. It was blissfully icy.

"Thank you…" I whispered closing my eyes. "That feels good."

"Anytime Rose, anytime," he said and I could hear the weariness in his voice.

I opened one eye and looked at his face. "So, how did that happen anyway?"

"Well I thought you would know better than me! Let me explain. When a boy and a girl make love, sometimes something happens and --"

"Stop it you doofus!" I said chuckling and shaking my head. "I'm not talking about the baby."

He let out a weary sigh. "You really want to talk about Sydney right now?"

I nodded as the nurse came back in. _Bad timing! _I thought and she probably saw it on my face because she smiled.

"It will only take a minute dear." She looked at Adrian. "You can stay, it's nothing much."

"I know," he winked at me. "We've done that before."

The nurse applied the gel on my belly and started to move the ultrasound thingy around. "Yes everything seems perfect. The baby is in the right position and the umbilical cord is clearly loose." She smiled at me. "We're ready to go."

"We still have time, right? I mean…" I looked at Adrian before looking at her again. "My…" what was Dimitri? We were supposed to get married next week. Calling him boyfriend seemed all wrong, and 'father of the baby' seemed so clinical, so impersonal.

"Her husband should be here in about forty-five minutes," said Adrian cutting me off.

"Well I don' know, it should be fine if this little one isn't too eager to see the world. The doctor will come to check on you soon."

I looked at Adrian once she left. "Husband?" I asked and I actually liked the sound of that.

He shrugged, "Well that's what he is, for all intents and purposes."

"Yes, yes it is. I--" another contraction hit me and I closed my eyes tight. It didn't last long, but it was intense. He took a bit of ice chips from the glass and rubbed them on my lips. "You're so good to me," I was so grateful to have him by me.

"Why don't you squeeze my hand when the contractions come?" asked Adrian nicely, taking my hand again. "It might help."

"I wouldn't want to break your fingers. I mean… what would Sydney say?"

He rolled his eyes, but I could see a small smile quivering on his lips. "We're still on that subject, huh?"

"Well I can't really go anywhere any time soon, so it might be good for both of us. Something to occupy our minds," I replied.

He sighed again. "It all started back in Geneva, when you were... out?" he tried. "I was the one who had to take care of her, and I guess it was just frustration, anger. I don't really know how it happened, but it just did. I thought it was a one night thing you know," he shrugged slightly "A mistake. But I don't know. As she tried to ignore what happened, she opened a bit. Talking about herself and things she liked."

"Architecture," I said with a smile.

Adrian grinned, "That woman knows so much, it's scary."

"Yes, she knows quite a lot," I confirmed.

"And… I don't know," he sighed squeezing my hand. "There's a lot more to her than I thought. She's bright, sarcastic, strong willed and," his smile widened, "so funny! Well quite often at her own expense, but…" He looked down at me. "She is a lot like you," he added finally.

I bit my lip as another contraction hit me. It was more intense, but shorter. I took a deep breath. "You really do like her, don't you?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"What about her? I mean, I know Sydney. Maybe the one time in Geneva was a mistake; I might give her that one, but here… It was her too right?"

"Of course!" he said offended. "I'm not the 'man whore' people think I am."

"Of course not," I said with a low chuckle. "Well I don't know her that much, but I can tell you the girl has issues, just like I do--did."

I gave him a sad smile, "I'm sure she likes you too. Just give her the time to realize it."

He winced like I said the wrong thing.

"What?" I asked.

He shook his head negatively. "No it's just… I wish I knew that before."

"It's her you went to see, the week after Dimitri and I got back together, wasn't it?"

He nodded, "Didn't turn out that good."

"What happ_ened_?" the last part of the word came out in a whooshing sound as now the contractions were really getting the best of me.

"Let's drop this for now Rose, and concentrate. Okay breathe," he said mimicking the breathing exercises I used on our way to the clinic.

I closed my eyes and breathed, listening to him. I was the one going to the classes, but right now I couldn't remember a damn thing! I opened my eyes again when I felt something cold on my forehead.

"Thank you…" I said. Right now this cold cloth brought me as close to heaven as I could.

Adrian smiled and brought the glass of ice chips to my mouth, "Take a bit of ice, I heard it helps."

I took some, and it truly helped me cool down. "How did you know?" I asked as my breathing turned normal again, and the beeping sound of the heart monitor calmed down.

He gave me a rueful smile. "Well I did my homework before Dimitri came back, you know. I never knew if maybe you would have ended up accepting my offer."

I looked at him with gratitude, and for once I wasn't feeling guilty. He was moving on from me, as far as romance was concerned.

Another contraction hit me hard. "They're getting closer," I said getting worried.

"Yes…" he looked around, "I noticed."

At that instant the doctor came in. He greeted us before rolling the seat next to the bed, probably to check the progression of things. "So how are we doing in here?" he asked looking at Adrian with surprise. Probably wondering why it was him by my side and not Dimitri, like at every appointment before.

"Okay I guess," I said not wanting to whine about how bitchy the contractions were. I was a fully trained Guardian with a badass reputation, I couldn't whine.

He had a small smile, probably seeing through my pretense. "How far apart are the contractions?" That really wasn't a question I expected.

"A bit more than a minute between each contraction. Each of them lasting about seventy seconds and they are getting stronger," said Adrian. I understood now why he was looking up each time I was having my contractions, he was timing them.

I gave him a grateful look as the doctor nodded. I bet he would have been much less impressed by my '_they are pretty close and hurt like a bitch_' answer.

"Well you're almost fully dilated, a bit more than nine centimeters. We'll be able to start any minute. I'll get ready."

"No we can't," I blurted out sending both him and Adrian a pleading look. "I can't have the baby now, not without Dimitri I… I need him here," I said as my heart rate accelerated.

"I know Rose, I know," murmured Adrian soothingly as he gently brushed my hair off my forehead.

"In a few minutes you'll start experiencing both uterine and powerful abdominal contractions also known as 'bearing down'. You won't have much choice; you'll have to push if you don't want the baby to suffer."

"I can't do it, not without him! The—No, I can't"

"Miss Hathaway, it's normal. Self doubt is a phase of the childbirth process. I--"

I shook my head vigorously. "Please Adrian, do something. Get him here. I beg you," I said knowing it was totally stupid and unfair. There was nothing Adrian could do for me at this stage; he had no way to get Dimitri here. But right now I was scared and incoherent.

"I'll be back in a few minutes with the nurse," said the doctor leaving the room.

Adrian rested his forehead against mine and it felt good. His skin felt so cold, dry and smooth compared to my burning, sweaty skin. "I'm scared," I let out in a sob.

"Pavel is driving as fast as he can without being a danger," said Adrian keeping his eyes focused on mine. "Calm down Rose, the stress is bad for the baby. Just calm down, everything will be fine. He is going to be here soon," he said keeping his eyes on mine.

My breathing calmed and I could hear that the beeping sound of the heart monitor was quieter. I could feel the light compulsion coming from Adrian, and for once I welcomed it. "Thanks, compulsion does have its use."

He kept his forehead against mine, but brought his hand to my cheek and very gently brushed my cheekbone with his thumb pad. "You don't feel pain, you're alright. The contractions aren't hurting," he added quietly.

I took a deep breath and smiled. "You can compel me, but I know I still want him here."

"He will be here… he has to be here." I thought he was talking more to himself.

Even if, thanks to Adrian, I couldn't feel the pain, I could feel the contractions becoming stronger and different. Gabriel was coming and I couldn't stop it.

The doctor came back dressed in green scrubs and a green surgical cap on his head. He lifted the sheet a little. "I'm sorry Rose but we cannot wait any longer. You are fully dilated, and I'm pretty sure you feel the urge to push."

I nodded with despair. "I do," I closed my eyes breaking the connection with Adrian.

"The nurse will be here any minute, but now I want you to take some deep breaths. When the next contraction comes, when your urge to push is the strongest, you push okay? As hard as you can," he said sitting down I couldn't see him anymore.

I looked at Adrian not really knowing what to do. I felt so lost, so vulnerable.

He smiled. "I guess we'll have to start just the two of us little dhampir." He helped me up a bit, putting an arm behind my back to give me more leverage, while I gripped his free hand. I knew he couldn't use compulsion now, as I needed to feel everything to know when to push.

As the contraction hit me I stopped breathing. "No Rose, breathe, come on. It helps," Adrian murmured in my ear.

When the contraction was at its peak I understood what the doctor meant by the strong urge to push. It was like Gabriel was trying to push _himself_ out. I could feel the pressure of his head between my legs. It was so strange.

"Alright, now Rose, push!" said the doctor.

With that I pushed, pushed the hardest I could. I couldn't stop the little battle cry that came out, but the doctor didn't seem startled by it. So I guessed it was normal.

"That was good Miss Hathaway, perfect," he said lifting his head up with encouragement. "Continue like that when the next contraction comes."

"That's good Rose. You're doing so well," whispered Adrian against my temple.

At that instant the nurse came in with a very keyed up Dimitri. He was wearing a sort of medical gown and a surgical cap. When I saw him I burst into tears, "I thought you wouldn't make it!" I said in between sobs.

"I know baby. I'm sorry," he said trading places with Adrian. "I'll see you later," he quickly told him.

"Good luck you two," said Adrian by the door. "He will be perfect," he added before exiting.

"I'm here now, my Roza," he added. He took the same position that Adrian had, maybe just a bit closer so my head could rest on the crook of his neck. "There was so much traffic that I ran the last five miles back to you, my Roza, my life."

I felt the contraction coming and the doctor probably saw my muscles contract.

"Here we go Rose. Just like last time. Push the hardest you can when you feel the urge, okay?"

"Okay…" I said in a breath as Dimitri continued to whisper words of encouragement, love and admiration.

I continued to push like that for the next twenty minutes, squeezing Dimitri's hand as hard as I could. I wasn't scared to break his bones, and even if I did he deserved it for getting me into that state.

"It hurts!" I snapped getting angry.

"I know Roza, I'm sorry. But you're doing so good. You are so, so strong, my Roza," Dimitri whispered to my ear.

"We'll never have sex, EVER again!" I let out in a growl as, what felt like the millionth, contraction hit me.

Nurse Wilson had a little smile on her face, telling me she heard that one before, except I meant it.

"I mean it Belikov; you won't ever touch me again. I---SON OF A BITCH!" I shouted and started pushing again.

Dimitri didn't answer, which was smart. I was pretty sure that any word coming out of his mouth would make me angry.

"I see the head," said the doctor with encouragement. "I want you to take a little break now Rose. He won't slip back in between contractions anymore. I want you to take short, panting breaths for the next couple of contractions."

"What?" I looked at Dimitri before looking at the nurse. "Why?"

"It will help you recuperate, just for a bit, making the birth more gentle and slow. It also helps to avoid tearing and--"

I didn't hear the rest as another contraction hit. I had to fight my instinct to push, and did the little dog breathing. It was supposed to help me, but I could still feel the energy being drained out of me.

"Okay now Rose, we start pushing again. Next contraction you push hard," the doctor said.

"I'm tired," I whispered into Dimitri's neck.

"I know baby," he whispered back and I heard the weariness in his voice. It was hurting him to see me hurting. He kissed my forehead. "You're so brave."

I continued pushing for the next ten minutes, not even knowing where I was finding this strength. I was sure I should be empty by now.

"We just need to get past the shoulders, Rose. We're almost there. One or two more pushes and the baby will be here."

I shook my head. "I can't do it, I-- I just can't. I'm not strong enough. I'm sorry, I'm just not strong enough," I added with defeat.

Dimitri moved a bit to look into my eyes. "You can do it, my Roza. You have far more strength in you than even you can comprehend. I know that." He kissed my lips softly. "I never met someone as strong and brave as you. Take my strength, it's yours."

Looking into his eyes, seeing he meant every word, actually made me stronger. I grabbed my knees for help, and when the contraction hit me, I pushed as hard as I could, probably even harder than I had before.

"Perfect Rose, just one more and we're done," said the doctor.

"One more push and we'll have our son, baby. Just one more," Dimitri whispered against my forehead.

I used what remained of my strength for the last push. Hearing Gabriel's first cry was like hearing the angels sing. I closed my eyes and let Dimitri gently help me down again.

"You did it! Oh Rose." Dimitri kissed my forehead.

"It's a beautiful baby boy," said the doctor. "Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?" he asked Dimitri.

Dimitri nodded, obviously too emotional to say anything. I saw him look down at the baby with a blissful smile before cutting the cord. The doctor handed Gabriel to the nurse who brought him to me.

I hadn't really realized what she was doing before she lifted my gown all the way up to my neck and put Gabriel on my chest. I remembered then that in the books they advise to do that in order for the baby to bond with his mother straight away, for my little angel to recognize my scent.

Feeling his body against mine took my breath away, all my love for him rushed like a tidal wave. I never thought it would be possible to love someone that deeply. I looked up at Dimitri who was staring at us, frozen, but his eyes showed me that his emotions were just too overwhelming. I got a glimpse at the top of Gabriel's head as the nurse took him back, and apparently he had some dark hair already.

Dimitri came back to sit by my head. "Oh Roza, he's perfect, a real gift from God." I could see tears running down his cheeks. "You did an amazing job. He's everything I dreamed of."

I gave him a tired smile. I had trouble keeping my eyes open, but I raised my hand to cup his cheek. "You made him perfect too; he's as much a part of me as he is a part of you."

"Here Rose, your little bundle of joy'' Said the nurse gently coming back with Gabriel.

"I've been waiting for you for nine months," I said looking at Gabriel as she settled him securely in my arms.

I looked down, and even after playing and replaying that scene in my head thousands of times, seeing the real baby, his tiny hands moving, his fragile frame nestled in my arms took my breath away. I counted his little fingers, there were ten, I opened the blanket and counted his toes, ten of those too. I smiled at Dimitri, "He is perfect."

Dimitri smiled back, "Of course he is, we made him." He reached down to kiss me. "Thank you for giving me a family Rose," he whispered against my lips. "Having a child with you, it's--" he rested a protective hand on Gabriel's stomach. "All my dreams came true."

"You're a Dad," I said with a smile.

"And you're a Mom," he said resting his head beside mine while keeping his hand on Gabriel. "All I can say is that he has your hair."

That made me chuckle, "Yes, the wicked Mazur hair. I can see that too."

"Are you planning on breastfeeding your son?" asked Nurse Wilson coming to stand on my other side.

"I suppose…" I said trailing off. I hadn't really checked to see what other options I had.

I looked at Dimitri. "It's your choice Roza," he said with a smile caressing my hair.

"Yes I think I will," I said concentrating on the nurse again.

She smiled. "Okay let me show you how to do it then." And she started to show me the way I should hold Gabriel and the way I should 'present' my breast.

As Gabriel grabbed my nipple and started to feed I let out a little yelp of surprise and victory. It was a very strange feeling, our baby; the life I just gave birth to, was sustained by me. I was, for now, his everything just as he was mine. It was the most powerful feeling ever, having this person that you loved more than life itself totally dependent on you. It was both terrifying and absolutely mesmerizing.

"He's doing it!" I said looking at Dimitri, "He--He is feeding from me!"

Dimitri smiled again and I could see the tears of happiness in his eyes. "This scene will stay anchored in my memory till the day I'll die. This is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen," he added his voice breaking under the emotion.

Almost as soon as he started, Gabriel stopped sucking. "He stopped! Is that normal?" I asked the nurse worried.

She smiled and nodded, "He has a tiny stomach and he is just born. Give him time, his appetite with grow with time."

I nodded looking down at the most beautiful being in this world, just getting lost in the contemplation of his perfect little face. "Don't you want to hold him?" I asked Dimitri. I loved to have him in my arms, safe and warm, but I was exhausted. I knew it wouldn't be long before I sank into sleep, plus I wanted to see our baby boy in Dimitri's arms.

Dimitri looked at me like I was joking, and he looked back at Gabriel twisting his mouth with incertitude. I could see he was dying to take him, but at the same time he was scared.

"You won't hurt him," I said gently bringing my free hand up to softly caress Gabriel's cheek with my forefinger. "And our son is tough, he's already survived so much." I smiled looking up at Dimitri. "I trust you, you should trust yourself." He reached down with shaky hands. "Just be careful with his neck and everything will be fine," I said as he got closer.

He brought one of his long, wide hands under Gabriel's neck, supporting both his head and neck, and his other hand held his back. Nurse Wilson came to stand beside him, probably to correct the posture if Dimitri was doing something wrong. Dimitri lifted Gabriel so slowly and carefully like he was glass. I wasn't even sure he was breathing while doing that.

He slowly bent down to kiss Gabriel's forehead. "My son," he whispered. "You don't know how much we've wanted to meet you. We love you so much, little angel. Thank you, thank you so much for being here." He closed his eyes. "I'll keep you safe, both of you... you'll be safe," he added fiercely.

"Let's get the little guy ready," said the nurse extending her arms tentatively.

Dimitri quickly looked at me, and I nodded with an encouraging smile. He let the nurse take the baby from his arms, but I could see he was pretty reluctant, one overprotective father he would be.

Once the nurse left the room with the baby, Dimitri sat back beside me caressing my hair soothingly. "Oh my Roza," he kissed my lips lovingly.

"He is perfect isn't he?" I asked as my eyelids were getting so heavy.

"Just like his mother." He continued to caress my hair. "Sleep, my Roza. We'll have the rest of our lives to enjoy our perfect little angel. He's safe, just sleep," he whispered against my ear before starting to hum some soft melody I didn't know. It sounded almost like a lullaby.

"It sounds nice," I whispered. I closed my eyes and slipped into unconsciousness to the sound of his deep voice in my ear and his strong, yet gentle hand in my hair. I had this feeling of joy, accomplishment and total safety. I never felt that before, and it was just fantastic to fall asleep feeling all that.


	21. Chapter 21

**A.N:** Hey guys!

Sorry it took longer than usual to update but it was harder for me to get back on my _**'Cradle of Hope' **_mood after reading **_Spirit bound_**… I guess that those of you who read it understand why.

Anyways I really hope you'll enjoy this chapter and don't forget to review, you know how much I love reading you guys.

Thanks to Jessa for proofreading AND being very enthusiastic when I talk to her about writing my own version of Last Sacrifice.

Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Steffy2106

**Chapter 20: **

I woke up with the same feelings of plenitude still anchored deep in my bones. I knew it wouldn't last forever, but I had to enjoy it as long as I could.

I opened my eyes and looked around. I was in another room, but I was pretty sure I hadn't slept very long. Still no windows to give me an idea what time of day it was. That was one of the downsides of living in a Moroi world.

"So…" I heard Adrian's hushed voice. I could barely see them from the little opening in my bedroom door, but it was open enough for me to see both Adrian and Dimitri standing face to face.

"I just wanted to thank you again for everything you did," said Dimitri with a hushed, yet urgent, voice.

"I told you already, it's alright. I-I did what any good friend would have done."

Dimitri let out a small laugh, "Not with the feelings you had for her. You helped her so selflessly, it's unbelievable. I saw it all in your head."

And then I almost fell out of the bed because what I saw was so unexpected! Dimitri pulled Adrian to him in a hug.

"I need to ask you something," said Dimitri a bit louder as he let go of Adrian. "I mean, if you didn't help, Gabriel wouldn't be here. Rose already chose his Godmother and she gave me the choice in his Godfather and . . . well- I want you to be his Godfather Adrian."

"I-really?"

Adrian said that at the same time that I thought it. Well not that I didn't think Adrian would be a perfect Godfather for our little angel, because he would be. Sure he had some _minor _deviances, but I was sure that he would love Gabriel with his whole heart.

"Yes really. You are essential in this whole story and relationship. Plus . . . as long as you don't mix vodka in his breast milk, I'm sure you'll be a terrific Godfather." _Oh my . . . Dimitri actually joking with Adrian? That was a brand new era of weirdness_.

"I - would be honored to be that beautiful baby's Godfather. Thank you Dimitri."

They stayed silent for about a minute.

"I better get going," said Adrian pointing behind him. "But I'll be back with the others later. Just tell-Just tell Rose that I think Gabriel is even more perfect than I thought he would be."

"I'll tell her," said Dimitri before letting out a little chuckle. "But it's Rose we're talking about, what else could you expect?"

Adrian nodded, "Very true. Well I should go meet the others but I'll be back."

"See you later," agreed Dimitri before walking back into the room. He smiled brightly when he saw I was awake. "Hello beauty," he said taking the seat beside me before kissing my forehead.

"Did I sleep long?" I asked taking his hand that was resting on my stomach, intertwining our fingers.

"Just over three hours," said Dimitri quickly glancing at his watch.

"Oh, that was a long nap."

He brought his free hand to my forehead and gently removed some rebellious strands of hair. "You were exhausted, Roza. You needed the rest."

"Where are the others? What about my parents? How is Gabriel?" I asked in a rush.

Dimitri chuckled, "One question at the time." He brought our intertwined hands to his lips and kissed the back on my hand. "We've got all the time in the world.

"The others left about thirty minutes ago to get a quick lunch. Lissa needed to rearrange her meeting and Pavel needed to clock out for the rest of the day, but I think they might use him anyways. Adrian called your parents, even before joining you when you were in labor, their plane should land soon. As for Gabriel, ahhh," he smiled so brightly it took my breath away. It was a '_show all your teeth' _type of smile, one you could rarely see on Dimitri's face. "He is perfect, truly perfect. I know you might think I say that because he is ours, but that's not the reason." He shook his head. "He's already bewitched everyone."

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

"You should have seen them - and by '_them_' I mean Pavel, Christian, Lissa and Adrian - in front of the nursery window. They were frozen looking at our son, like statutes."

I smiled. "I can't wait to see him now that I'm wide awake."

Dimitri stood up. "Yes, the nurse told me to come get her when you were awake anyways. Our boy might be hungry."

"Anything to check out my breasts eh?" I said trying to tease him.

"Hey I would get mine out, but I don't think he would be that interested."

"Probably not . . . but I might be."

"Really?" he asked, an eyebrow raised.

"You know I didn't mean it right?" I asked just before he reached the door.

He turned around and rested his back casually against the door. "What are you talking about?" he asked with a crooked smile. His smile led me to think he knew exactly what I was talking about.

"The all '_we'll never have sex again_' stuff," I said grimacing. "I might have exaggerated just a bit."

"Just a bit?" he repeated incredulous with a glint of humor in his eyes. "Well that's a shame really." He rubbed his chin. "I was starting to come up with ideas that might convince you."

"Oh really?" I said trying to do his eyebrow thingy but failing miserably. "You may still need to use those."

"I intend to," he said with a wink before leaving the room.

I was still smiling at the silliness of our little banter when Dimitri came back and sat beside me again. "Our little angel is on his way" he said kissing my forehead.

Not more than two minutes later the nurse came in rolling a sort of clear plastic cradle.

"You look good Rose," she said as she rolled the cradle to my other side.

"How could I not? It's probably one of the happiest days of my life." I admitted. I was already starting to take off the sleeve of my gown to stick it under my armpit.

She simply nodded. "You know I've never seen a baby with such a big audience," she grinned. "He's a star."

I laughed, thinking of Eddie's teddy bear. "Yes he's a dhampir superstar."

"So do you remember the way I showed you to breastfeed? No problem if you don't, most new mothers are too exhausted for that."

"I think so," I said as she eased Gabriel into my arms. I slowly removed the fabric out of the way and placed him how she showed me. Almost immediately Gabriel started to feed, and like the first time, it took my breath away, our little baby.

"That's perfect Rose, really," she said with approval. "Well you don't need me. I'll give your little family some privacy, but ring if you need anything."

"Will do," I said evasively, still watching Gabriel feed. It gave me a strange sensation, but physically and mentally it was one of the best feelings in the world. I was so lost in the moment that I didn't hear the nurse leave.

Gabriel opened his eyes and they met mine. He was squinting a bit, even though the light wasn't bright. It had to be hard for newborn eyes. I noticed then that he had the eye color I hoped he would have, the same as Dimitri's bottomless brown eyes, the most beautiful eyes in the world as far as I was concerned.

Dimitri brought his hand up and gently caressed Gabriel's dark brown hair with his forefinger.

"He has your eyes you know," I said looking up to meet Dimitri's eyes.

He nodded and I could see pride in his eyes. "Yes I noticed."

I looked down again, "And he also has your nose." _Your perfect, beautiful, straight nose _I added to myself.

"Is that a good thing?" he asked curiously.

"Yes, a very good thing," I smiled at Gabriel. "He has a big appetite."

"That's something he got from you," said Dimitri grinning playfully.

"Hey!" I said in mock offense. "I love my food, sue me!"

At that instant we heard a faint knock at the door, but didn't get to answer as Christian walked right in.

His eyes widened as he took in the scene. "WOW! Sorry," he said taking a quick step back and closing the door again.

I chuckled, looking at Dimitri. He shrugged in a '_it's your call_' way.

"Come in Fireboy," I said barely louder than a normal conversational tone. Living with Moroi and a former Strigoi had its perks. You never had to shout to be heard.

"I . . . don't know," said Christian from behind the door. Dimitri and I both laughed.

Laughing made my breasts move, and Gabriel wiggled a bit as if he wanted to stop my breasts from moving.

"Told you, just like his mother as far as food is concerned," said Dimitri as he stood up to open the door. We both knew that Christian wouldn't come in on his own.

I sent him a fake glare, but I didn't think that anything could bring me down today. Dimitri opened the door.

"Come in Christian, please," he said gesturing him in. "It probably won't be the last time you see Rose breastfeed Gabriel in the next year."

Christian grunted and walked in, looking everywhere except at me. I chuckled, but it was already progress.

"Where's the Godmother?" I asked Christian as he took the seat furthest from the bed.

He winced, "Believe me, you don't want to know."

"Scary?" I asked as Gabriel let go of my breast.

"Terrifying," he replied looking around in embarrassment.

Dimitri took Gabriel from my arms and began to pat his back, burping him. I watched him with astonishment; I guessed the fatherly instinct had hit him hard.

"I love seeing him in your arms," I said after readjusting myself. "It's okay Ozera, my breasts is hidden again."

Christian rolled his eyes at me, but seemed to relax in his chair.

"So where is the Princess?" I asked with a smile as Dimitri sat back. He handed Gabriel back to me, who was now sleeping in my arms.

"She's robbing every baby shop in a fifteen mile radius. You should hear her on the phone."

"That's some crazy shit," I laughed, but could only imagine her.

"I think Adrian is trying to restrain her, but it's not that easy."

"Restrain Lissa in a shopping fever?" I asked incredulous. "Good luck with that."

Christian smiled and when his eyes fell on Gabriel I could see his face grow with tenderness. "He's so perfect Rose, I . . . he is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen."

"Thank you," I said with emotion as I looked down at Gabriel again. "He really is breathtaking."

"Be ready Rose," said Adrian walking in and coming straight to my bed to kiss my forehead.

"Hey baby," he whispered to a sleeping Gabriel. "Do you even know how lucky you are? Well you have good parents, but you ended up with the most awesome Godfather in history!" he said grinning. He quickly shot a look at Dimitri. "I'm going to spoil you rotten. Well . . . you already have a crazy Godmother for that." He pointed to the door, "you'll see that in about ten seconds."

At this instant Lissa showed up. Well I presumed it was Lissa since I couldn't see her face and her arms were full of goodies and some blue balloons. Christian and Dimitri jumped from their seats to help her.

"Are you sure you got enough?" asked Christian sarcastically as he put some of the stuff on the table.

"Well it's the first baby in our gang," said Lissa quickly glaring at him. "And I got even more, except it would have been pointless to bring it all here."

"Thank God for that," mumbled Christian. Lissa ignored him as she had her eyes on me and Gabriel.

I had never felt so much excitement coming from her. She wanted to squeal so badly but didn't want to startle Gabriel. She also wanted to hold him, but she was scared to ask.

I smiled inwardly, Lissa was probably the gentlest person I had ever met, Gabriel would be safe.

"Nice of you to show up, Godmom," I said with a grin.

"I can't believe he's here!" said Lissa in a hushed tone that was still carrying her excitation. "He's so beautiful."

I smiled. "Do you want to hold him?" She couldn't contain her small squealing this time, making us all laugh.

"Go on," said Dimitri, probably to show her that he trusted her too.

Lissa walked slowly to me like it was a joke, and reached down for Gabriel. I helped her settle him in her arms. As soon as she straightened I could feel her joy and love for him, it was overwhelming.

"Hey Angel, I already love you so much!" she said sitting carefully in the chair by the bed. She was looking down, lost in her contemplation of Gabriel, and I was pretty sure she wouldn't hear me now.

Christian finally sat closer. "You're not going to get the boobs out anytime soon right?" he asked sitting.

"Boobs?" asked Adrian looking around. "Who's showing boobs?" I snickered. Adrian would always be Adrian, and that was also a reason for which I loved him.

"I came in, and bang! Rose flashed me," said Christian in mock seriousness.

I quickly looked at Dimitri who was sitting on my other side, holding my hand. He shook his head with a small smile.

"I was feeding my son!" I said pretending to be offended. "I'll get my breasts out as soon as he needs it."

"Uh . . ." said Adrian pretending to think. "He's one lucky kid!"

I expected Dimitri to get irritated at this joke, but he just laughed. "You got that right!" he said before reaching down kissing my lips softly.

This time I didn't need to fake surprise. "You're in a joking mood today. That's a side of you I've never really seen before, but I like it . . . very much.''

"I just had the most beautiful baby boy with the woman I love more than life itself. If I can't be deliriously happy today, well . . . I don't know when."

We all spent the next hour or so talking about everything and anything, excepting Lissa. I could feel it through the bond, she was contemplating all the things she would do with her, and I quote, '_heavenly Godson_' that she tuned us out.

It was getting close to evening now, and I was getting tired as Gabriel was getting restless. Christian, Lissa and Adrian left. I fed Gabriel again, and really started to feel like a pro at that.

"You look tired too," I said gently to Dimitri after he helped me up to change Gabriel and go to the toilet.

"I'm alright. You're the one who did all the work," he said standing looking at Gabriel peacefully asleep in his crib.

"Dimitri . . ." I trailed off.

He nodded. "Okay, you know what? I'll go grab something to eat, shower quickly and I'll be back."

I knew it was the most that he would allow now. I smiled. ''Yes, you know where to find me.''

He kissed me a bit more passionately than before. "I love you so much," he whispered against my lips, "Both of you so, so much."

"And we love you too," I whispered back nibbling on his bottom lip.

Dimitri wasn't even gone forty-five minutes, I was pretty sure he used his Strigoi speed to get back quickly. He was barely back when Gabriel started to cry.

I reached for him as he was in the crib just by my head. "It's okay Angel," I gently rocked my arms in a soothing movement while singing _Gabriel_ in hushed tone. I loved everything about him, even hearing him cry, but he stopped before I got to the second verse.

I had just set Gabriel back in his crib when I heard a deep voice from the doorway, "_Kizim_." I looked up to meet my father's eyes.

I could see he was tired from the trip, and had probably come straight from the plane to the clinic. The visiting hours were long past, but he was Abe Mazur, rules didn't really apply to him. I spotted a flash of red curls telling me my mother was just behind him.

"Finally my _Büyükbaba _is here," he said walking to the crib, watching Gabriel sleep. "Hey _bebek_, _dede_ is here now," he whispered gently brushing Gabriel's cheek with the back of his forefinger. "He has our hair," he said finally turning to me with pride written all over his face.

"So I've seen," I said grinning back.

My father hugged me hard. "You did a fantastic job . . . both of you," he said finally acknowledging Dimitri. "He is perfect."

It probably didn't look like much, but my father acknowledging Dimitri's '_involvement_' actually meant everything. It meant that the past was behind us and that he finally approved of him.

I looked away to meet my mother's eyes and they were full of tears. Not something you really saw often from Janine Hathaway.

"Are you okay?" I asked worried.

"I'm . . . I'm a Grandmother," she whispered. "My baby just had a baby." Her voice broke under the emotion.

"Yes, but you are one hot _büyükanne_," said Abe trying to lighten the mood.

Dimitri stood up and rested a hand on my Mother's shoulder. She quickly turned around and pulled him into a hug that caught both Dimitri and me off guard. Abe reached for Gabriel in the crib and started whispering some Turkish words that meant nothing to me, but that put a smile on my Mother's lips.

"What is he saying?" I asked curiously.

She shrugged dismissively. "Well he is a _VERY_ protective man, and Gabriel is his first grandbaby . . . What do you think?"

I mock shuddered. "That is a scary thought."

We spent the next hour together, like a real family, and it felt nice. Gabriel didn't only have power in his blood, he had the power to bring us together. And, that was the greatest gift.


	22. Chapter 22

**A.N: **Hey guys!

Thanks for the reviews! Just so you know I started to work on my Last Sacrifice story and Jess will be my beta for it too ( I mean she is so awesome now that I got get I won't let her slip away MWAHAHAHAHAH)

Well anyways I hope you'll enjoy this chapter and for get to review I truly love reading you.

Take care

Steffy

**Chapter 21**

Four days after I left the clinic the Queen asked Miller to deliver an official invitation to dinner, which included only the very center of our family, Dimitri, Gabriel and me.

As expected, Dimitri watched over me and Gabriel like a hawk mixed with a pack of wolves. It would have probably bothered me to no end any other time, but right now I needed to feel safe. I needed to feel that our baby boy was safe.

I may be wrong, but to me, Dimitri was invincible. He could and would fight everything, and still come home to play with his son and make love to me. My own loving, tender, deadly warrior.

"Are you sure you want to go?" he asked as I arranged the knot of his tie.

"She's not as bad as I thought. Well, she did have her secret agenda and all that. But once I managed to get her to be straight forward, she was half decent."

"Only half decent?" asked Dimitri as he wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I was standing in front of the mirror trying to put some order to my crazy hair.

"Well it's half more than most of the royal Moroi I've ever met."

He chuckled and leaned down, letting his soft, strong lips skim down the skin of my neck. I closed my eyes enjoying the moment. We couldn't have sex yet, the doctor said to wait at least six weeks. I was rather pleased about that because I was still full of baby fat. I kept telling Dimitri that I was fat; he kept his stance that I was perfect. I guessed it was true what people said, love _DID_ make you blind.

"I love when you do that," I whispered.

"I love the way you smell," he kissed my jugular. "Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, after checking on Gabriel, I get low in the bed so I can bury my face in your neck. Just feeling you there, breathing, smelling that unique odor of yours, brings me one step closer to heaven," he whispered against my neck.

We were startled back to reality by Gabriel crying.

"He's probably hungry. Let me feed him real quick before we go."

Dimitri nodded. "I'll get his basket ready," he said before quickly kissing my lips.

Gabriel had been such a spectacular baby in so many ways. He was already sleeping through the nights! Apparently it was very rare, but I guessed that being unique did have its perks.

Dimitri settled him in the basket as if he weighed nothing at all. Even if the Queen hadn't requested Gabriel to come with us, Dimitri would have taken him anyway. He didn't want to let Gabriel out of his sight any more than necessary. Sure it was the 'Protective Father' in action, but the threats to Gabriel's life only put fuel on the fire.

Rare were the people that Dimitri trusted fully around the baby, and the only person that he considered strong enough to protect Gabriel - besides himself - was Pavel. My lethal, yet very gentle, adoptive brother. Now that Dimitri got over his whole jealousy trip he was more than happy to have Pavel around.

When we made it to the Queen's quarters, Miller walked us to a private, small and cozy dining room where the Queen was already expecting us.

"Rose!" she said with apparent pleasure. "I'm so happy you decided to join me, with your lovely family, for dinner."

"Thanks for having us," I said politely.

"Guardian Belikov," she said to Dimitri who bowed his head reverently. It was still funny to me how Dimitri was 'Guardian Belikov' and I remained 'Rose' or 'Miss Hathaway' no matter how hard I tried. Some time ago it might have bothered me, but it didn't matter so much anymore.

Dimitri put the basket carrying Gabriel very carefully on the sofa and stayed very close to it. The Queen eyed me expectedly, waiting for a silent approval to approach the baby. I smiled to her and nodded my approval, before quickly glancing at Dimitri who took two steps to his left.

"And you must be the Angelic Gabriel," she whispered looking at him, deeply asleep. "Thank you for everything. Thanks for saving us," she continued and I could hear the earnest gratitude, almost reverential in her voice.

Dimitri stiffened. He hated to be reminded of Gabriel's 'power' that could probably turn into 'powers' as he grew up. He was worried sick, but I couldn't blame him. I thought it was every parent's worst fear, not to be able to protect your own child. Even in normal situations, where parents didn't have a specific reason to fear anything. I reached for his hand and intertwined our fingers.

"He has your hair you know," said the Queen finally concentrating on me again.

I laughed as I felt Dimitri relax again. "So I've been told."

A woman came in with a platter and set three plates on the table. "Dinner is served," she said before retreating.

The Queen gestured us to the table. As expected, Dimitri took the seat the closest to the sofa so Gabriel was only an arm reach away. We ate the starters in silence, but it wasn't uncomfortable, just peaceful.

"So, when are you planning to make everything official?" asked the Queen when the main course was served. "I heard you were going to get married soon."

Dimitri smiled at that. "Well, Your Majesty, it did take some convincing, but the date is set for the day after tomorrow."

"So fast?" she asked with a frown. "Isn't a bit short notice to organize a wedding?"

"Oh, we're just doing the civil side of things really; standing in front of the Council Official, just for me to become Mrs. Rose Belikova." I smiled at Dimitri. "We'll have a 'real' wedding once everything is settled here." I didn't need to explain more as she knew perfectly well what I meant.

She nodded. "You shouldn't have to wait for too long." Both Dimitri and I threw her a quizzical glance. "I can only imagine how you, young parents, must be worried about your son's destiny." She sighed wearily. "But my scientists think that they have successfully reproduced the uniqueness . . . the anomaly if I may say, of Gabriel's blood."

"Which means?" asked Dimitri probably much colder than he intended. I rubbed his leg under the table to soothe him.

"Which means," she started, ignoring his tone, "that he will become less attractive for his detractors. Once we have what makes him a weapon there will be no need to get to him."

Dimitri quickly glanced at the basket before concentrating on the Queen again. "So you've created something?"

"Well," she cocked her head to the side, "we did create a sort of . . . how can I say . . . bullets?"

"Bullets?" I asked curiously.

"Yes. It's still a bit complicated to me. You're the only ones who know that much, since it seems only fair. These bullets contain the umm . . . poison? We made with Gabriel's specialty, if I might say."

"What will these bullets do?" asked Dimitri as he grabbed my hand that was still rubbing his thigh.

"They should break once they enter the body of a Strigoi, poisoning it, its blood."

"Should?" asked Dimitri suspiciously.

"Well it's very, _very_ new. It hasn't been tested in the field just yet."

"Uh huh," said Dimitri. "Well let's hold our breath." I gently nudged him.

"Thanks for keeping us informed," I said trying to round the angles.

The rest of dinner went smoothly, we only approached 'safe' subjects.

"That went pretty well," I said after we arrived back at our apartment.

Dimitri had been unusually quiet, lost in his thoughts. I always hated to see him like that; unable to stop myself from wondering what dark thought was attacking him. "I guess," he said quietly watching Gabriel sleep in his crib.

I came to stand beside him wrapping an arm around his waist as he wrapped his around my shoulder. "Talk to me please," I said looking up.

He leaned down and kissed my forehead. "It's nothing. It's just . . ." he sighed. "I can't shake the feeling that I can't trust them."

I reached for his hand and pulled him out of Gabriel's bedroom. I went to sit in the little seating area.

"What do you mean?" I asked when he joined me on the sofa.

"Well I don't like all these secrets and plans," he shook his head. "I'm just not that much into all this political crap."

I nodded. He was right. Gabriel, our family, would always be a source of gossip and we couldn't be assured that he would be safe. I had mentioned that to Lissa a couple of times. She told me that, when it was all over, she wouldn't get mad as long as we stayed a family. The time to choose had come.

"I'm sorry," he said taking my hand, tracing soft patterns on top of it.

"Don't be. You're right. I . . ." I took a deep breath. "I'm going to resign."

His head shot up so fast I jumped with surprised. He locked eyes with me and I could see his face was full of incredulity. "What did you say?"

"I said, once everything is settled - at least the initial threat - I'll resign."

"Why? I mean . . . Not that I'm complaining, but…"

I smiled. "You were right. I can't risk my life, not with our baby. Maybe I'll want more babies, who knows?" I grinned, "I sure like the practice."

He laughed, but let out a sigh of pure relief. "Oh Rose . . ." he rested his forehead against mine. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," I whispered back. "I want the life you saw in your dream. I want to raise our son in a safe environment; far from all this drama, but I don't want to go too far."

"Lissa needs you close. I know. I understand."

"And I need to be close," I added. "They are my family too."

"Our family, Rose. Our family."

"Yes," I whispered against his lips. "Our family."

**Two days later: **

"So Rose, are we ready?" asked my mom.

I checked my hair in the mirror for the last time. I knew it was just a super small, basic wedding, but it was still a wedding. It was MY wedding.

"Yes, just one minute," I said as I checked the nursery.

"We're fine!" exclaimed Pavel from the rocking chair. Gabriel was nestled safely in his arms.

"I know, I know," I said raising my hands in surrender.

Dimitri didn't want to leave the baby with anyone, but the hall where we were getting married was cold and unsuitable for a newborn. The only person he trusted enough to keep Gabriel safe was Pavel. Plus, Pavel actually had three sisters and plenty of nephews and nieces, he had experience with babies.

As for Pavel, well you didn't have to ask him twice. He was as in love with Gabriel like everyone else.

"What do you want Mommy? I'm having fun with Uncle Gav right now," said Pavel with a babyish voice.

I laughed. "I'm sorry Son; I didn't mean to bother you," I said playing along. "Well there is some breast milk in the fridge if you're hungry. I'll come to pick you and your uncle up in about an hour. Is that okay with you?"

Pavel pretended to bring his ear to Gabriel's mouth. "Yes, he says that's fine. He also said that you should go and get married to his father already. He's waited long enough."

I chuckled. "See you later."

"So Rose? How is motherhood going for you?" asked my mother as we walked to meet Dimitri and the others.

"It's only been a week, but I enjoy every minute of it."

My mother smiled and squeezed my hand. "I never thought I would say this, but motherhood suits you, Rose."

I smiled back, not really knowing how to answer. She had just given me the most beautiful compliment ever.

Lissa was my witness, but she wanted to make sure everything was ready for the buffet beforehand. Adrian was Dimitri's best man and that . . . Well that was something I would have thought was out of a Sci-Fi movie, but apparently Gabriel had changed many things.

The wedding wasn't really a wedding, per say. Not when the room counted only nine people, Dimitri and I included. These nine people being: Dimitri and I, Christian and Lissa, my parents, Adrian and Sydney, and the Moroi Official performing the small ceremony. Adrian and Sydney were ignoring each other, but their subtle, little eye contacts led me to think that they still had a chance.

I wasn't even wearing a white dress. I wanted to keep that for the summer wedding, the one surrounded by both of our families. I was wearing a little, black and white, cocktail dress. The room we were getting married in pretty much looked like any wedding room in the human's City Halls.

I took my father's arm and opened the door to find my Dimitri - the man I fought so hard to have - standing by the desk, dressed in a black suit. I couldn't help the tears in my eyes.

"I'm about to get married," I whispered to my father as we walked up to meet Dimitri.

"Yes, but the door is open. You can still make a run for it," he hissed back. I shook my head. He was my father alright, making jokes at really inappropriate moments.

I joined Dimitri and saw his smile widen as he reached for my hand. He held it tightly as we turned to the Moroi Official, whose tag read 'Judge Olovar.'

"I'm glad you came," Dimitri whispered.

I looked at him with incredulity. Did he really think that I was going to back out of marrying him? We really needed to discuss my love for him.

Judge Olovar repeated the words he had probably said hundreds of times before. His voice even sounded slightly bored, but I couldn't blame him; he just didn't know how special we were, how strong our love was. I was pretty sure everybody thought the same about their relationship when they stood here, but I knew that, for us, it was true. I could feel it in my bones.

We didn't write our vows or anything for the small civil wedding. It was just a way to make us official, make us a family in the eyes of the law. We would have a real wedding later. I craved one just as much as Dimitri, but it just couldn't be now.

We said 'I do' with fervor. Dimitri almost shouted it, making everybody chuckle.

When the Judge declared us husband and wife Dimitri swept me off my feet and kissed me deeply as the others applauded.

"Ummm guys? The rule is mini wedding, mini kiss," said Adrian from somewhere beside us.

"Back off!" growled Dimitri against my lips.

I chuckled in the kiss, the moment was gone.

"Don't laugh at me Mrs. Belikova," said Dimitri with humor all over his face as he straightened me up.

"Oh, I'm sorry my husband." I liked the sound of that, and the way Dimitri's eyes lit up showed he loved it too.

"My wife," he whispered like he was trying to make sure it was real.

We turned toward the others when we heard a very loud, weird alarm sound. It was very close to a fire alarm, but not quite. I looked up at Dimitri puzzled as his grip around my hand tightened. It was so tight it actually hurt.

"There has been a breach in the security," he said looking around.

"What do you mean?" I asked getting really scared.

"We're invaded. Probably Strigoi,' said the Judge with panic. It took me less than a second to kick off my high heels, get out of Dimitri's tight grip and start running toward the door.

"Rose!" he roared so loudly that it almost made the walls shake.

I stopped my hand on the doorknob. "I need to go to our son Dimitri. Take them to safety. I'll be with Pavel, we'll be fine." I didn't give him the time to say anything else as I started to run again. I ran as fast as my now pretty untrained body allowed me to.

I couldn't shake my irrational fear for Gabriel's life, but I knew he was safe with Pavel. He was like a pack of wolves just himself. I knew that Dimitri would be joining me in less than ten minutes, but still the fear was there, anchored in my chest.

When I made it to the front of our apartment and saw the door slightly open, my breath caught in my throat and sweat started to run down my neck. I didn't have my Strigoi nausea, and that was the only thing that kept me from bursting in.

_Pavel probably flew Gabriel to safety. Don't worry, _I told myself as I walked into the apartment quietly, grateful to be barefoot. I reached for a stake hidden under an armchair. It was one of Dimitri's ideas to hide stakes everywhere. I thought it was creepy at first, but now I was grateful.

"Pavel?" I whispered as I tiptoed to the nursery with my back to the wall. "Pavel it's me."

Once I reached the nursery a huge wave of nausea hit me. It wasn't Strigoi related, but it was related to the scene before me.

Pavel was on the floor, his eyes open, vitreous . . . dead. A puddle of blood was forming where his throat had been sliced opened.

I opened my mouth to scream, but I couldn't make a sound other than a faint squeak. My friend. My brother. Pavel was lying dead on the floor.

My eyes locked on the crib and I was terrified to look inside . . . To find another scene similar to the one at my feet.

I walked slowly, closing my eyes as I stepped over Pavel's body. When my eyes looked into the crib the shock and fear made me fall on my knees.

"Dimitri!" I screamed so loud my throat burned. "Dimitri, please!" I screamed again desperately.

The crib was empty . . . our baby was _gone_.


	23. Chapter 23

**A.N:** Hey guys!

I know this chapter is very _VERY_ late but my beta was super busy with her exams.

Anyways, I didn't want to let you wait any longer ( as I kept receiving more and more emails lol) so here come chapter 22 but _**it has not been beta'ed' so please no bashing I know my English is far from perfect.**_ Thanks Sam for the quick read through.

There will be only one chapter left after this one and for the one who wonder what's going on with my version of _**Last Sacrifice **_well it's going. I just finished to write chapter 4 and I should start posting around June 20th.

Sorry again, I hope you'll enjoy this chapter.

Take care guys!

**Chapter 22:**

I couldn't breathe, but I needed to move, to do something…_ANYTHING_.

"Phone!" I shouted standing up with shaky legs. I always worked well under pressure but it was my baby that was missing and one of my best friends that was lying dead on the floor. As I strode over Pavel's poor body I didn't expected the puddle of blood to have grown that fast. I slipped in it falling down and covering myself with his blood.

"I'm sorry, so sorry," I whispered voice shivering as I stood up my hands bloody while staggering to the living room.

As soon as I found the phone Dimitri stormed in.

"They are in safety, the Court is in lock d-" He stopped dead taking my messed up face, my left hand and leg covered in blood. He whitened and I saw his face twist in such furry that it actually took my breath away. I had seen Dimitri angry, I even saw Strigoi Dimitri angry, but they had nothing on him, he was truly terrifying now, even for me.

"It's…It's not my blood." I said still holding my phone in my bloody hand. "I-" I let out a tearless sob.

"Pavel?" He tried.

"D-dead."

Dimitri closed his eyes for a second. "Gabriel?"

"Gon-"

I didn't even get to finish my sentence that Dimitri rushed into the nursery.

"Rose!" Shouted Eddie coming to stand by my side breathless.

Dimitri came out of Gabriel's room with his blanket. "I'll find him Rose, the Court is on lock down, he can't be far. I'll make my way to our baby."

I couldn't help but shudder knowing that what he meant exactly was '_I'll make my way to our baby, killing anyone that will stand in my way_'

"You keep her safe" he said to Eddie. He sniffed the blanket deeply and I knew his Strigoi sense of smell was the best advantage we had right now.

"I want to help" I said finally.

"Roza you can't, I can't worry about both of you. Stay here, I swear to God I'll bring our baby back to you." He said kissing my forehead quickly. "I love you" he added before rushing out at Strigoi speed.

"I love you too." I finally whispered but I knew he was long gone.

"I'm so sorry Rose," said Eddie wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders. "Are you hurt?"

"It's not my blood," I repeated mechanically. "Pav-Pavel is dead." As I closed my eyes, I could see his lifeless body on the floor. I was pretty sure this image would follow me for years, but it was hopeless I couldn't do anything for him now, both Lissa and Adrian already shadow-kissed a person. He was dead and would stay dead.

"Rose why don't you go take a shower? Dimitri will find Gabriel soon and it would be better if you're all clean then."

I nodded and showered in a sort of haze. When I walked out dressed in a grey pair of sweats and a button down shirt I found Eddie standing in front of the nursery while rubbing his neck. It was something he was always doing when he was thinking.

"It doesn't make any sense." He said eyes still locked on the nursery.

"Gabriel is special you know that."

"No, that's not what I mean." He looked at me. "There is no sign of a struggle, the door is not fractured and the way-the way his throat has been sliced it's…like it was sliced from behind."

"What are you now? David Caruso?" I asked sarcastically. I knew I was being mean but I didn't like what he was implying. "Pavel was the best to keep Gabriel safe."

"That's exactly what I'm saying! He was neither reckless nor stupid, why would he ever turn his back to anyone?"

"I don't -" I stopped dead as a name came to my mind. Pavel would trust a guardian to lead him and Gabriel to safety after the alarm blared, but he wouldn't have opened to any guardian, he needed to be high enough. "SON OF A BITCH! It's Miller! The traitor, it's him!"

"Mill- No? He is in the Queen's guard!"

"So? It's him I know it!" I reached for my phone which was still covered in blood and dialed Dimitris' number, but he didn't pick up. I sighed. "Probably too busy slaying Strigoi," I said looking for Arch number now.

"Hathaway? Are you okay?"

"So you know."

"Of course! We're about to send three commando units to Court."

"Pavel is dead, my baby is gone and I need a favor."

"I- tell me. Anything."

"I know you have a tracking system in the guardians phones even if you deny it. I need you to track Vick Miller phone. He is the mole, don't ask me how I know, I just do."

Arch stayed silent for a minute.

"Arch please!" I snapped. "I don't care about your tracking crap I just want my baby boy back!"

Arch sighed. "Fine give me a minute." I could hear him tipping on his keyboard. "Okay his phone is off now, but the last signal we received was seven minutes ago from the south west tunnel."

"The one running under the cells? The issue is locked right?"

I could hear him tipped urgently. "It is now. It was actually the only issue that did not automatically lock up in case of lock-down alert, but don't worry he had no way to gain this exit in seven minutes. That's the entrance that uses the commando teams when they'll enter the Court. That bastard is very well informed."

"But it is dangerous for the baby, a full freaking commando team!"

"Three actually."

"Great," I groaned.

"The teams won't make it before approximently thirty-two minutes. You can still act."

"Thanks," I said before hanging up.

"I have to go, I know where they are heading."

"I-No, you can't go." Said Eddie with urgency.

I shook my head and dialed Dimitri's number again he still didn't answer so I left him a quick message telling him where I was going.

"I'm coming with you." Said Eddie vehemently.

"No you are not, I have to do that by myself. Go tell the others, you have to tell them where I'm heading and who is the mole."

"Rose, no! It's finale."

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"For this," I said punching him as hard as I could. I knew he wouldn't be out for long, but long enough to give me a good head start.

As I ran in the tunnels, being as quiet as I could, I hoped that Dimitri would listen to my voicemail soon.

When I finally made it to the end I knew I was screwed and part of me even thought I should have listened to Eddie.

"Rosemarie! What a delight! I'm glad you could join us." Said Victor cradling Gabriel in his arms almost making me physically sick.

I looked around. Victor was surround by Miller and two another other men just as large and probably just as lethal. There was also a very tall Moroi and the first word that came to mind when seeing was 'nerd'.

I would have maybe stood a tiny chance against them before getting pregnant but now, with more than six months without training, barely a week after getting birth and with Gabriel to protect I knew I was doomed and relaxed my fighting stance.

"Smart girl," said Miller seeing I was surrendering. He looked down at my left hand. "Damn, you did get married! That's a shame, I hoped to get my way with you."

"Yes like I would have even looked at you otherwise," I said sarcastically. "You make me sick."

I saw anger flash on his face and I wondered myself why I couldn't just keep it shut.

"Why did you do that?" I asked Miller trying to keep them focused on me in order to give Dimitri or Eddie or anyone really the time to come help me. I was also mentally praying that Gabriel would start crying so I could get a hold on him.

"Family has its own rules Rose, you better than anyone else should know that. If I'm standing here before you it's all because of you."

A new wave of guilt for letting him out hit me hard, but if it wasn't for that I wouldn't have had Dimitri back or our son.

'Family?" I tried.

"Oh I'm just plain rude! Where are my manners? Rose let me introduce you to my son Vick."

"Your son?" _That is something I didn't see coming._

"Why, yes. Don't I have the right to have my own illegitimate child?" Victor asked with his predator smile probably marveling that he managed to pull such a stunt.

"You won't get anywhere you know," I said nodding toward the door. "The whole Court is in locked-down and the door won't open before the elite commandos show up."

Victor's smile didn't even falter which led me to think he did plan that possibility.

"Well it's just a minor draw back," he said dismissively. "It is still a mystery why that door closed too, but Marty here is one of the engineer of the system, he will get us out in…" He trailed off.

"Eleven minutes" said Marty with an electronic device in his hand.

"Everything and everybody has a price Rose…Even you." He said and there was no point to deny it. I would have done anything right now to make sure Gabriel would be safe. "Don't worry about the little man, he is so special, I won't hurt him. Who would have thought that Rose Hathaway would give birth to our most lethal weapon against Strigoi? And yet, retrospectively, it makes perfect sense."

At this instant, like if he had heard my silent prayer, Gabriel started to cry.

I took a step forward reaching for him, but Miller took a quick step on the side to stand in front of me. His hand went down on his belt and I could see he was reaching for a hunting knife that was coated with blood.

_Pavel's blood _I thought as bile rose in my throat.

"He's hungry" I pleaded. "Just let me feed him or hold him. You want him quiet don't you?"

Victor considered that for a minute. "The baby needs his mother, you'll come with us." He said as one of the huge guards took position behind me.

"Yes I'll come," I said meaning it. I would rather go with '_Psycho and Son' _than to let my baby by himself.

Victor handed me Gabriel under Miller's narrow glare.

"I'm glad father is taking you along. We'll have fun together," Miller said with such a tone and twisted smile that it made me shudder with both fear and disgust.

I was rocking Gabriel who wouldn't stop crying and I could see that, with the way he was wiggling, he was looking for my breast, he was hungry there was no doubt about that.

"So Hathaway we're waiting, feed the kid," said Miller eyeing my breast intently.

I looked at Victor who was talking with Marty. He didn't care that his son was a freaking pervert, and I was pretty sure he wouldn't stop him from raping me whenever he felt like it once the door was open and we were away.

I closed my eyes for a second. _Please, please God help us_. I prayed silently. _Dimitri I love you_.

I started to unbutton my shirt slowly.

"Faster!" Miller barked. "You" he said pointing at the guard behind me. "Help her to go faster."

The guard approached me rather uncomfortably at least he was not a psycho, pervy, rapist, it was already something. But, as his hand reached for my shirt, I felt like he just spat in my face. I looked up with surprise and saw blood running out of his mouth and a long blade stabbing his throat from side to side.

I think it all happened in less than a couple of seconds, but it was so clear in my head like it was minutes rather than mere seconds.

Dimitri appeared in front of my blood splattered face. He was wearing his suit pants but not his jacket or tie and his white dress shirt was torn and covered in blood, but I was pretty sure it was not his.

"Nobody can touch my wife," he growled as the guard's body fell heavily on the floor. "Sorry honey I'm late," he said to me so calmly it was eerie.

Miller took out his knife from his belt and I didn't know if he was going to attack Dimitri- which would be totally stupid- or take Gabriel and I as hostages, which seemed much more likely. So I did the only thing that came to mind, which was protecting my son. I had no doubt anymore Pavel had told me once I didn't have a strong mother instinct.

I dropped on my knees by the wall and shielded Gabriel with my upper body. I knew that in the lapse of time during which Miller would try to grab me from the floor, he would be dead.

I whispered words of comfort to a crying Gabriel as Dimitri fought Miller and guard number two.

"You really are one strong specimen," said Victor after a while. I allowed myself to peek as Gabriel stopped crying and Miller's body was almost close enough to touch clearly dead, same with the guard.

I saw Dimitri walk like a feline toward Victor. "You tried to take away my family," he said with an icy cold voice. "My wife and son."

Now all smugness left Victor face. He raised his hands. "Okay you won, I surrender."

Dimitri shook his head. "If only it was as simple as that. By taking Gabriel and Rose, you tried to take my life away I… This is only punishable by death."

"Dimitri?" I tried. _He wouldn't kill someone that was not an immediate threat would he?_

"Oh my… I always wondered if what we brought back was one hundred percents pure Dimitri. I guess the answer is no." Ironically enough it was Victor that was trying to gain time. It was like he would rather face a commando unit than one single Dimitri Belikov, and right now, seeing Dimitri like that, I would have done just the same if I were him.

"I'm not the same man anymore you are right and I swore myself that anyone who would ever try to hurt my family- I can't get passed that," he said reaching for Victor so quickly breaking his neck in one swift movement and let him fall heavily on the floor. "Never try to hurt my family," he said turning his attention on poor Marty that seemed to be on the way to poop his pants.

I was so shocked that I was frozen on the spot, I couldn't believe he killed Victor without blinking and the way he was walking his eyes locked on Marty, I knew how it would end.

"Dimitri stop please!" I cried out which caused Gabriel to cry again.

Dimitri turned to me.

"I -He threatened me," said Marty. "I didn't want to help, but he said he would kill my son." He continued.

Dimitri completely ignored him and came to crouch in front of me.

"Hush baby everything will be fine," he said very softly brushing Gabriel's cheek.

"He's just hungry," I whispered.

"I know," Dimitri smiled. "Cranky just like his mother when she needs food." He reached for a tissue in his pocket and very gently wiped my face from the splatters of blood.

I looked at him stunned, how could be so soft and caring now when he just killed in cold blood?

"Because I love you more than life itself and that I would kill anyone who will ever try to take you two away from me." He replied as I didn't even notice I expressed my thoughts out loud. "Take your time Rose, feed the baby. The Court is quiet again, no more threat. You're safe." He removed a string of hair from my face and kissed my forehead. "Nobody will ever hurt you."

I nodded and fed Gabriel. I couldn't remember the rest of the day though like my brain just decided to take a break and really who could blame me? A day that was supposed to be one of the best day's of my life turned out as one of the worse.

The Court was invaded, my brother at heart had been killed, my son had been kidnapped, I had been on the verve to be taken away by Hannibal Lector best buddy and I saw the cold blooded killing machine side of my husband. Yes… my brain needed a break.

The truth hit me again hard three days later during Pavel's funeral. It was hard for me to keep it in check. He was in love, he was totally joyful to take care of Gabriel...And everything had been taken away from him.

We decided to give Gabriel '_Gavin_' as a middle name in remembrance of him. It was the American version of Gavrilovich.

We moved Gabriel's crib from the nursery to the spare bedroom as I just couldn't bare the idea of walking in the nursery in which Pavel had been killed. It had been three weeks and I still had this image anchored in my brain.

"I think we should move away soon," I said one night snuggling into Dimitri's hold.

He kissed the back of my neck spooning me even tighter. "As you want, when you want."

I turned in the bed. "It's just…Where to go? What to do?" I sighed.

Dimitri propped himself on his elbow in order to have a good look at my face. He very softly caressed my jaw line with his fingertips making me shiver.

"We can take our time starting to move, find a house. The guardian paycheck is pretty meager, but I was never a big spender and I have enough savings for a house."

"Yes well you know my father wants to buy it for us, like a wedding present."

Dimitri pursed his lips making me smile, he didn't like the idea of not buying our home.

"It doesn't make you any less male, believe me…you are plenty male to me." I said reaching up grabbing his bottom lip between my teeth before kissing him eagerly while letting my leg brush his groin making his body react immediately.

Dimitri groaned against my lips before falling heavily on his back beside me. We both knew it was still too early, but I couldn't help to crave his touch. After everything that happened his touch, his hunger for me, was what I needed.

"What would I ever do without you?" he asked pulling me to him.

"Probably the same as me without you." I replied resting my head on his chest.

"Crumble and die?"

"Something along these lines," I confirmed wrapping my arm around his waist. "You don't know how essential you've been these last few weeks, how you helped me keep it together. Knowing you were there, by me no matter what…" I moved slightly to kiss his chest. "It meant a lot…It meant everything."

"Oh Roza," he chuckled. "I told you I'll always be there for you, whatever you need, but it's no hardship I need to be by you, there is no other alternative. As for the move well…you can talk to Abe, tell him what you want to do."

I could see it was hard for him to accept that my dad would help us settle. Dimitri had been raised in an old fashioned way believing that the husband should create the home he was sharing with his wife, but he let go of these principles with me probably not showing me how much it was bothering him.

"And what do you want to do with your life now my Roza? You are not a guardian anymore."

"No, but I'm a mother and thats everything to me, but I was thinking that maybe next year I could try to get into Lehigh and study. I mean I really liked animal behavior when I tried to help Lissa and I think that-"

"That's a fantastic idea Rose! You should do it." He said getting all excited.

I smiled my head still on his chest. I knew he would support me whatever my decision was, whatever I wanted to do with my life and that was the sort of unconditional love I always wanted with him.

"As I said I'm considering my options. Things changed, we changed and we have to adapt."

"I know, but I'm not worried I know that whatever we decide, it will be just fine as long as we stick together."

"Together it is," I confirmed closing my eyes falling asleep listening to his quiet breathing and his strong hand caressing my hair.


	24. Epilogue

**A.N:** Hey guys!

So here come the final chapter of 'Cradle of Hope.' I really hope that I tightened every loose ends and just so you know I really loved writing this story and it's mainly due to your awesome reviews. You really kept me going.

Anyways just so you know I just posted the first chapter of my new Story 'Last Sacrifice: The Ultimate choice.' hat is beta'ed' by the great ShadowKissed23

I really hope you'll enjoy it, don't forget to review.

Take care

**12 Months Later:**

Lissa was helping me adjust the crown of wild flowers on top of my head while rearranging my curls so they fell over my shoulders.

"You know Rose, you are perfect just like that. It's very you…I couldn't have done it better," she said meeting my eyes in the mirror.

"Is that a compliment? But it's not Vera Wang," I said teasing.

"No it's not Vera Wang but seeing you like that right now I couldn't imagine you any other way."

I looked at myself in the mirror and couldn't help but agree with her, it was perfect.

Lissa had been insisting on that big wedding even if it was set in Baia. She was presenting me with Vera Wang and Monique Lhuillier dresses, table clothes in wild silk and ice sculptures.

I wanted her to be happy of course but this would have cost an arm or leg… if not both and even if Lissa insisted on paying for everything, Dimitri was ready to let go.

Dimitri had already made a big concession when he let my father buy us the house and I think that was what made my father genuinely forgive Dimitri for hurting me when he left.

My dad had said, '_It takes a really man to let go of his values to assure the best for the woman he loves. I know how hard it is for you to let me do that and just know that it counts._'

However, we had to restrain Abe because, Abe being Abe, he wanted to buy us a mansion or something completely insane like that. We managed to buy a nice three bedroom house that needed some work so Dimitri would be able to make the repairs himself, making everybody happy.

But, as far as the wedding was concerned, it has been harder to restrain Lissa. So, when Olena informed me, that if I wanted, she and the other women of the family would make me a wedding dress. It was a tradition, if you approved of your son's choice. I jumped on the offer and now, seeing myself in that beautiful simple white dress, I was even happier with my choice.

''So Roza, ready?'' asked Olena peeking into the room. ''Dimka is all over the place.''

I laughed but nodded. ''Yes I am. I'll meet you downstairs.''

That was another custom here in Baia, the bride would be walking to the church in order to meet her husband surrounded by all the women involved in the wedding with the mothers ahead of the cortege.

I never thought my mom and Olena would get along as they couldn't be more different as they were but apparently seeing their children so happy and in love created a bond and they chatted away for the past two days as if they had known each other forever.

As I made it down the stairs, I found my mother and mother-in-law sitting together along with my now sisters in law and my other bridesmaid Sydney.

Sydney and Adrian were back together, well as far as our little group was concerned. Sydney was not ready to come clean with her parents or her work or everything having to do with her actual life. She told us it would be easier announcing she was gay than dating a creature of the night, especially Adrian Ivashkov as his reputation, deserved or not, did reach the alchemists.

I knew it hurt Adrian to have Sydney hide their relationship but he was patient, just like he had been with me and I could see in his eyes that he loved her and I knew she loved him too, probably much more than she wanted to. I knew that, in the very near future, she would have to make a choice and I was pretty sure that she would choose him. I would help her realize he was just perfect for her, she would regret letting him go but I was sure she knew that already.

As for me well, I didn't think I could have been happier than I was now walking to go renew my vows. Our 'real' wedding in front of all the people who mattered to us, all the people we loved.

I knew that Adrian would be sitting in the first bench with Gabriel on his knees. He was the best godfather a child could dream of and I knew he loved him just like one of his own and as strange as it was, Adrian seemed to be Gabriel's favorite, very much to Lissa irritation.

Gabriel was such a fantastic baby, I couldn't have dreamed to have a better son and the more the days passed, the more he looked like Dimitri. It was stunning.

Everything changed in the past year. I never expected things to evolve that way, but all in all, even counting the heartaches and the losses that were still hurting, life turned out pretty good.

I was taking distance learning classes at Lehigh and Dimitri was still working at the Court as a Guardian. The Queen had been so horrified about her own guardian being the threat to Gabriel that she had been very good with us.

The house we bought was forty-five minutes from the Court and she kept Dimitri as a day time guardian at the Court because we both knew it would have been hard for him to find a job in the human world.

When we made it to the Church I found my father waiting for me, pride written all over his face.

The women walked in leaving me with my father on the church porch.

"You look fantastic Kiz, do you know that?" he said kissing my cheek softly.

"Thanks," I said taking his arm.

"Just before we go in, are you happy? I mean really happy?" he asked looking deep into my eyes.

"I am Baba, I've never been more in love than I am right now. He is making me happy, you know? No other man could ever do that."

My father smiled. "That is the answer I hoped to hear."

We walked into the church and as soon as I connected my eyes with Dimitri's I felt loved and safe.

I smiled as I walked down the aisle but it was a smile that no one but me could understand. I could already imagine our wedding night and the wedding present I was about to give him.

I could already imagine the joy I would read on his face when I will tell him that in appreciatively seven months Gabriel would have a little sister or brother.

We were really building the life and family we were longing for.

I fought for him, lost him and even gave up on him but at the end we were meant to be. I could not ask for a better ending to our story.


	25. Note

Hey Guys!

I'm going to do something totally shameless and ask you to vote for my video I really REALLY want to win!

I made the top 10 (Well 11 really) and I wanted to know if any of you would like to vote for me pretty please? If I win I will post a poll and wrote a story that YOU want me to write!

My trailer is Trailer 11 (Steffy2106)

And the link is…jenniferarmentrout(dot)blogspot(dot)com/2012/02/obsidian-fan-made-trailer-voting-is-now(dot)html

Thank you SO SO SO SO SO MUCH!

PS for those who wait I will update Rebirth by Wednesday at the latest


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